Planning Visas.

Researching Housing and Schools.

Calculating budgets.

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The Expat Starter Kit for Germany includes a first-month planner, helpful phrases for appointments and where to find support in your early days in Germany.

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Families typically approach these decisions thoughtfully and thoroughly.

I remember ticking off boxes and feeling oddly proud of how organised we were — visas submitted, housing sorted, school applications sent. On paper, everything looked right.

And yet, once they arrive, many are surprised by how unsettled things feel. 

Not because they missed something obvious and definitely not because they weren’t prepared enough.

The most challenging parts of relocating with children aren’t logistical.

They’re human.

The gap no one warns you about when moving abroad with kids

I’ve noticed a pattern, from both my own experience and in the families I speak with. As a relocation coach and a mother who’s lived this transition, I see the same rhythm again and again.

The move itself often goes well enough.
Bureaucracy gets done, somehow.
Accommodation is always found and the family moves in with no issues.  

Slowly, the children begin school and Kindergarten, just like at home. 

Except, it’s not just like at home. After the first 4 – 6 weeks, something seems to shift.

Children who seemed “fine” begin to struggle.

Parents feel more tired, more reactive and sometimes even less sure of themselves, wondering if they’ve made a mistake by moving their family abroad. 

Suddenly, small daily tasks and challenges feel heavy, difficult and exhausting. 

This is the part many families underestimate. Not because they’re naïve, but because it’s rarely talked about honestly.

The emotional impact of relocating a family overseas. 

1. Why the emotional impact of moving overseas with children shows up later

One of the biggest surprises for parents is timing.

Children don’t always react immediately to an international move. There’s too much excitement. 

Many children hold it together through the practical chaos of packing, travelling and arrival. It’s often only once life begins to settle into a familiar routine that emotions surface.

This delayed response is completely normal.

For children, emotional processing often happens when they finally feel safe enough to let it out. What can look like “regression,” defiance, or moodiness is often their nervous system catching up.

Often, this is also the moment parents start to finally slow down and realise how much they’ve been holding together.

In addition, many younger children simply can’t comprehend what it means to move abroad until the familiar routine settles in and they’re not in their usual location. 

For parents, this can feel confusing and worrying:

 “They were coping so well — what happened?”

Nothing went wrong. Your children are simply responding to the changes they’re experiencing.

2. Mothers underestimate how much they’re carrying

Another common underestimation is the weight mothers hold during relocation.

Even in families with strong partnerships, mothers are often:

• tracking children’s emotional states
  
• managing routines
  
• interpreting new systems
  
• holding the family’s sense of safety
  

All while navigating their own loss of familiarity and identity.

Many capable, organised women are surprised by how unsteady they feel abroad. Tasks that once felt easy require more energy. Confidence feels conditional. Decision fatigue sets in quickly.

It can be as small as standing in a supermarket aisle, staring at unfamiliar products, suddenly feeling close to tears.

You’re not failing.

Maintaining an elevated level of responsibility through a long-term transition is hard. 

Understanding this can be deeply relieving.

3. The loss of invisible supports

When families move abroad, they don’t just leave people and places.

They lose an ease to their life.

The ease of knowing how things work. The ease of knowing which forms matter. Which doctor to call. How long things usually take.

Suddenly, everyday tasks require attention and interpretation. Over time, this constant vigilance takes a toll.

This is why many parents feel exhausted even when “nothing is technically wrong.” The mental load has changed.

4. Children need familiarity more than excitement

It’s tempting to focus on the positives of an international move: new adventures, the opportunities to learn and of course, the growth of each personality.

And those things do matter.

But in the early stages of this transition, children actually need familiarity.

Our kids crave familiar objects, routines and ways of being soothed and loved. 

When these are taken away through the impacts of international relocation, children may cling, withdraw, or push back. These behaviours are often misread as resistance or ingratitude, when they’re actually your child’s way of seeking reassurance. From you.

Anchors matter more than novelty at first.

5. Why settling after an international move with kids takes longer than expected

There’s a quiet pressure around relocation timelines.

“We should be settled by now.”

“Other families seem fine.”

“Why does this still feel hard?”

The truth is that, like most transitions in life, adjustment is rarely linear. There are periods of calm, followed by unexpected dips. Progress often happens in small, uneven steps.

These family relocation challenges are common. Even in well-planned international moves with kids.

Avoid comparing your family’s timeline to someone else’s and take each day as it comes.

You’re not behind. 

Your family’s transition is theirs alone. 

What helps families navigate this more steadily

There’s a few things that I’ve noticed that consistently help families through these life-changing transitions. None of these require you to do more. They’re about doing less but with more intentionality. 

• Naming what’s normal.
  
• Reducing pressure to “make it work” quickly. Instead, relax into the change.
  
• Prioritising emotional safety alongside logistics.
  
• Creating small, predictable anchors.
  
• Supporting your children’s nervous systems to stay calm. Avoid focusing only onbehaviour.
  

Each of these points brings a gentler approach to supporting your children.

Often, during these transitions, all our children need is us. Don’t forget to be patient with yourself, too. 

You don’t have to figure this out alone

An international move with kids reshapes daily life in ways most families don’t anticipate, even when the move was wanted and perfectly planned.

If you’re preparing for an international move, or already navigating life abroad, my Expat Starter Kit is designed to support the early months of transition with practical tools and grounded guidance.

Download the Expat Starter Kit here ⬇️

You’re doing something brave for your family.

Take it one step at a time.

The post Moving Abroad with Kids? The Most Underestimated Outcomes appeared first on Professional Support for Families Relocating to Germany.

You’ve made the big decision to move abroad. Now that the decisions have been made and the visas underway, you’re wondering, “But what do I pack?!” 

Don’t just survive your first 30 days in Germany, thrive.

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For many families, packing feels like the final hurdle.

Suddenly, you’re standing surrounded by things that made your home, well, home, trying to decide what comes with you.

I remember standing and staring, paralysed by decision and the emotional weight of every item in front of me. 

It’s not like packing for a holiday. It‘s not even similar to moving house locally.

Packing for life abroad isn’t just about moving your belongings from one place to another. It makes you consider:

• What will help my children feel safe in unfamiliar surroundings?
  
• What routines can we carry with us?
  
• What will I wish I’d kept when everything feels new?
  

As a relocation coach supporting professional mothers through international transitions, I’ve experienced the challenge of each and everyone of these decisions, and have spoken to plenty of parents wondering “where do I even start?”. 

Packing is where practical preparation and emotional readiness meet. When it’s rushed or underestimated, you might be left feeling overwhelmed and confused. 

This guide isn’t about packing everything. It’s about packing what matters most so your family can land more steadily in your new life abroad.

If you’re moving to Germany, you might find my The Ultimate Packing Guide For Families Moving To Germany helpful. 

Why Thoughtful Packing Makes a Real Difference

When you relocate abroad with children, you’re not just moving things from one house to the next.  

You’re carrying:

• familiarity
  
• comfort
  
• emotional anchors
  
• the small details that help everyone feel grounded
  

In the first weeks after your move, those small things matter more than many families expect.

The moment the boxes arrived and I found my favourite ceramic mug, a gift from one of my closest and oldest friends, I an indescribable thrill. Even now, that mug brings me so much comfort when I’m having a bout of homesickness. 

We all need a few items that bring comfort, even when everything feels new and scary. 

There’s also the practical reality many families underestimate: replacing forgotten items abroad can be expensive, time-consuming, or unexpectedly difficult. 

Brands differ. Availability varies. Systems work differently.

But beyond cost and convenience, there’s an emotional layer too.

Children don’t always react to big changes right away. Often, it’s the absence of something small and familiar that brings the transition into sharp focus. Packing with intention helps soften the landing for all of you.

Before you move on, pause for a moment:

What one item from home would help your family feel more settled in the first week?

Make a note. That’s your starting point.

Essential Documents to Keep With You (Not in Shipping)

No matter where you’re moving, some items should never be packed away in shipped boxes.

Keep these documents in your hand luggage or a dedicated travel folder:

• Passports for all family members
  
• Visas or residence permits (if already issued)
  
• Birth certificates
  
• Marriage or partnership certificates
  
• Medical and vaccination records
  
• School reports and transcripts
  
• Academic certificates and professional qualifications
  
• Travel and health insurance confirmations
  
• Driver’s licences and international permits (if applicable)
  
• Employment contracts or relocation paperwork.
  
  

Practical tip:
Create both physical copies and encrypted digital backups stored securely online.

Clothing: Packing for an Unfamiliar Climate

One of the trickiest parts of my international move was packing for the Winter. Coming from Australia, I’d never experienced a Northern Hemisphere Winter.

Even though I’d researched the climate (and my husband is German!), my experience of the seasons was very different to my expectations. 

This can be true of seasons, temperatures and humidity. If you’re not yet accustomed to the climate, packing for it is hard. 

Rather than packing for extremes, focus on flexibility.

Core clothing principles

• Prioritise layers
  
• Choose items that mix easily
  
• Pack for comfort, not aesthetics alone
  
  
  

Reliable essentials for most destinations

• Weatherproof outer layers (rain jackets, waterproof shoes)
  
• Lightweight sweaters or pullovers
  
• Comfortable walking shoes
  
• Sleepwear suited to temperature changes
  
• Indoor footwear or slippers (common in many cultures)
  
  

Once the basics are covered, pack the clothes that make you feel like yourself.

The ones you reach for automatically.

The ones that fit well and require little mental energy.

Your confidence matters during transition too.

For children

Pack familiar, well-loved outfits.

Even if they’re not perfectly suited to the new climate long-term, even if they’re impractical. 

Familiarity often matters more than practicality in the early weeks.

Work, School, and Daily Life Clothing

Workplace expectations vary widely by country and industry, but many international families are surprised by how practical daily dress tends to be.

Before packing extensively:

• clarify workplace norms where possible
  
• prioritise versatile, comfortable items
  
• avoid overpacking “just in case” pieces
  

For children, school clothing usually requires:

• comfortable everyday wear
  
• weather-appropriate outdoor layers
  
• spare items for changing or accidents
  

Uniforms are the exception rather than the rule in many countries. 

Expectations around outdoor play, walking, and independence though, can be higher than families anticipate.

The Things Families Most Often Wish They’d Packed

Every family is different, but certain items come up again and again in conversations with parents after a move.

These are the things that tend to support emotional regulation and daily ease in the early weeks:

• Comfort items for children (soft toys, books, blankets)
  
• A pram, stroller, or baby carrier if age-appropriate
  
• A small family medicine kit with trusted basics
  
• Prescription medications for the first few weeks
  
• School or learning supplies your children already use
  
• Essential digital devices and chargers
  
  

💡 Helpful idea:
Let children pack a small “arrival bag” with items they choose themselves. This sense of agency can make a meaningful difference during transition.

Household Items Worth Bringing From Home

While minimalism is often encouraged when moving abroad, some household items are worth prioritising, particularly if you’re sensitive to quality, comfort, or familiarity.

Common examples include:

• Favourite spices or pantry basics
  
• Pillows or bedding that support good sleep
  
• Power adapters and voltage converters
  
• Small appliances with personal value
  
• Kitchen tools you rely on daily
  
  

Large appliances and furniture are often better sourced locally, once you understand space, compatibility, and lifestyle norms.

Your First-Week Transition Kit

No matter how organised you are, international moves rarely go exactly to plan.

Luggage can be delayed. Shipments can arrive late. Temporary accommodation can feel disorienting.

A dedicated transition kit ensures your family has what it needs even if everything else is delayed.

Don’t forget to include:

• Several days of clothing for each family member
  
• Basic toiletries
  
• Bedtime essentials
  
• Chargers and adapters
  
• Important documents and valuables
  
  
  

Ask yourself:

• What would be hardest to replace quickly?
  
• What helps us function when tired and overwhelmed?
  
  

Start there.

What Not to Pack When Moving Abroad

Just as important as what you bring is what you leave behind.

In most cases, it’s best to avoid packing:

• bulky, low-value furniture
  
• rarely used medications
  
• food items restricted by customs
  
• clothing for future seasons (especially for children, they grow so fast!)
  
  

In many countries, secondhand markets and local buying options are far more accessible than families expect.

Less really is more during international transitions.

Final Packing Advice for Families

It’s not easy and it can be overwhelming. As Mothers, we want to get everything right. We want to do the best and be the best for our kids. 

Here are my last tips to get you started and take away any of that sneaky overwhelm that always finds it’s way into our major life decisions: 

• Start earlier than you think you need to
  
• Be selective, not sentimental
  
• Label clearly and specifically
  
• Involve your children where possible
  
• Pace yourself — packing is demanding
  
  

Most importantly: remember that packing is just one part of the transition.

We’re not aiming for perfection. Good enough will do.

You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone

Moving abroad as a family reshapes routines, identities, and expectations, not just addresses.

If you’d like structured support through the emotional and practical side of relocation, my work focuses on helping professional mothers navigate this transition with clarity and steadiness.

Download the Expat Starter Kit to support your first months abroad

You’re doing something brave for your family.

Take it one step at a time.

The post The Ultimate Packing Guide for Families Moving Abroad appeared first on Professional Support for Families Relocating to Germany.

Featured in every post, their little lives digitally documented online, often before they’re old enough to say “yes” or “no”.

Don’t just survive your first 30 days in Germany, thrive.

The Expat Starter Kit for Germany includes a first-month planner, helpful phrases for appointments and where to find support in your early days in Germany.

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On the other hand, you might have noticed a lack of photos of my kids in my content. Sure, I share stories from our lives, but you’ll never see them. 

My work, both as a coach here and as a Social Worker in the Child Protection and Family Support Space, is centred around supporting women in their roles as Mothers.

Having worked with families experiencing violence, addiction, mental health issues, homelessness and sexual abuse, I’ve learnt one thing:

ALL Mother’s are doing their best.  

And this is why the question of digital safety for kids is so important to me and my business. 

If you’re abroad with your kids, all you want to do is share the experiences they’re having. Those beaming smiles and the stunning backgrounds are worth sharing! And I understand why you’d want to.

I know what it feels like to want to shout your joy from the rooftops—to say, ‘Look! We’re doing it! We’re thriving abroad!’ That instinct is beautiful. I feel it too.

In this post, I want to share my reasons for not sharing my children’s images online and challenge you to start posting pictures of your children with clarity and intention. 

Family Is at the Heart of My Work

Breathe in Between grew out of my desire to support other women struggling to find their groove as Mothers abroad or as families on the go, wherever they are in the world. 

As a new parent living abroad, I struggled without my social network. It was awful. 

My mission is to support you to be the strongest, best parent you can be in your new home or on the road. 

But it’s not just from my personal experience that I draw my perspective in creating support programs for you. The foundation of Breathe in Between comes from my professional training and experience. 

My content combines my raw personal experiences with my professional tools like assessment frameworks, trauma-informed strategies, and an understanding of children’s rights—including their right to privacy.

I’m not just a Mom-blogger.

I am a professional and a Mother.

If you want to learn more about my motherhood journey abroad, check out this post.

Why I Don’t Share Photos of My Kids Online

When I was pregnant with my first (it feels like ancient history now!), I knew that this baby wouldn’t be shared online.

Why? I considered my job to protect their privacy as a protection of their future.

This decision goes beyond the (very real) risk of predators and straight to the question of a child’s rights, specifically a child’s right to privacy. 

Children have the right to choose.

They have the right to decide how their image and voice are used. Children have the right to say “no”, too. 

It is a child’s right to decide how their story is shared. Not ours. 

A relative once asked me if I was proud of my kids because I never post about them online. 

I was stunned! Of course I’m proud of them. I adore my children. 

There was a moment, spending a quiet afternoon in the Albanian Alps, when my children were swinging in a hand-crafted swing in the yard of our Air B&B with the soaring mountains behind them, when I instinctively reached for my phone.

I snapped the photo but I paused before sharing it online.

Not because it wasn’t beautiful—it was. But because I want those memories to be theirs, not part of my brand.

So, although my business is built on my experiences of being a parent abroad and on-the-road with my kids, it doesn’t mean they have to be shown in my business content. 

While this approach doesn’t fit for everyone, it’s what’s right for us. As I always say to my kids “Every family has different rules” and I respect parents’ right to choose.

My Content Celebrates Family but Without Faces

While you won’t see photos of my children in my content, the stories that I share from my parenting journey still revolve around them. 

My content is grounded in real experience and professional guidance. Whether you’re navigating bedtime routines in a new country or facing emotional overwhelm, I’ve been there—and I’m here to help.

Do I think photos of my kids would make my posts more relatable? Maybe. But they wouldn’t make them more valuable.

Instead of showing off my “why,” I want to help you reconnect with yours.

Why did you search for parenting support abroad? What are you hoping to feel more confident about today?

My two little “whys” are what fuel this work. But helping you feel more empowered in yours—that’s the reason I’m here.

What This Means for You and Your Family’s Story

So, why am I sharing this? Why, if it’s “no big deal”, am I dedicating a whole post to the topic? 

Because I know it’s unusual to see someone online, especially in the family space, without photos of their family. 

I also know that these questions are becoming more and more common for families as they navigate the new world of parenting online. 

You may still decide to post. That’s your right. But let it be an intentional act, not a default one.

For me, the answer has always been clear. My business, Breathe in Between, is mine. The choice to share my story was mine. But their story? That’s theirs. And protecting it—that’s my job.

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Sometimes sharing can connect us, celebrate growth, or help others feel less alone.

But when we pause, we give ourselves the chance to make that choice consciously.

Last Comments About Why I Don’t Post my Kids Online

This isn’t about fear. It’s about long-term respect. It’s about teaching my children that their story—and their boundaries—matter.

I’d love to hear how your family navigates this. Do you share images online? Have your thoughts changed over time?

Get your FREE Expat Start Kit to help you start your new life of your dreams from day one.

The post Why you won’t see my kids online (Hint: Privacy Matters) appeared first on Professional Support for Families Relocating to Germany.

Moving to Germany with kids brings with it a lot of questions. One of the biggest being: What’s the best school for my kids? 

Local public schools offer full language and cultural immersion, while international schools provide familiarity with language and approach. 

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The Expat Starter Kit for Germany includes a first-month planner, helpful phrases for appointments and where to find support in your early days in Germany.

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This choice sparks debate for a reason—your child’s schooling will shape not just their education, but how easily they build friendships and settle into life in Germany.

With many competing but equally valid priorities, it isn’t always easy to decide the best option for your child. 

In this post, I’ll walk you through the key differences between the public schools in Germany and its International Schools. I’ll also share tips to help you choose what’s best for your kids and family.

Overview of the German School System

Germany’s education system is known for its structure and academic rigour—but for newcomers, it can feel complex and overwhelming.

Known locally as the Bildungssystem, the German school system comprises several stages with varying aims and outcomes for students.

If, like me, you’re from a country where children attend primary school and then secondary school, then this system might take a little bit of getting used to! 

Here’s a quick overview:

Krippe (2 – 3 years) 

While not compulsory, toddler childcare is widely used in Germany. While generally not academically oriented, children attending Krippe will be exposed to a range of activities that aim to build their motor and social skills. 

Kindergarten (3–6 years)

Preschool years are not compulsory but like Krippe, are widely attended. Activities are generally more targeted to build specific, age-appropriate skills. Parents will receive feedback and recommendations if children are observed to need extra support in any area.

Vorschule (ages 5 – 7)

The last of the preschool years is the foundation year for school. Attending may be compulsory in your state. Children are increasingly taught the routines and structures common in school, to prepare them for their first school year. 

Grundschule (ages 6–10)

• Primary school from first to fourth grade.
   
• It is common for children to remain in the same group, with the same teacher for the full four years.
  
• All children must attend Grundschule from the age of six years old. 
  
• School commencement may be delayed by recommendation from the Vorschule (for example, the child’s language is not yet adequately developed to manage school). With special permission, children may also begin school early. 

Secondary Education

After the fourth class, (or sixth class in some states), children transition into one of the following secondary schools:

• Hauptschule: Vocational-focused education, lasting 5 – 6 years (depending on the state). Students receive a Hauptschulabschluss, allowing them to seek further vocational training (for example, an apprenticeship).
  
• Realschule: Considered the intermediate path, the Realschule combines academic study of the core subjects (German, Maths, Science and English) with more vocational subjects. After five years, students can choose to move into further vocational training or specialised secondary education or complete an additional two years of study to qualify for university study in Germany.
  
• Gymnasium: Offering the most academic path, students study for five years and receive the Abitur, the qualification needed to apply for study at German universities. Typically, students choose either a maths/ science stream or a languages/ humanities stream to focus their studies on. All students must demonstrate a sound knowledge of German, English and Maths regardless of their specialised stream.
  

“Oberschule” is a type of secondary school, typically found in Germany’s Eastern states of Saxony, Sachsen-Anhalt and Brandenburg, which combines the Hauptschule and Realschule. 

Public schools in Germany are free, though there are still other costs to be covered by a student’s family. For example, the cost of excursions and books. 

Public schools here follow state-specific curriculums and are taught almost entirely in German, which can be a big adjustment—especially in the early months. 

There is minimal flexibility or adaptation for students who are not native speakers, though increasingly schools are offering classes tailored to DaZ (Deutsch als Zweitsprache – German as a foreign language) students. 

Make it Germany has a handy diagram to help make this all make a bit more sense!

What Are International Schools in Germany?

International schools in Germany cater to expat families and worldly-minded local families by offering internationally recognised curricula. 

Most commonly International Schools offer one of the following qualifications:

•  International Baccalaureate (IB)
  
• British curriculum (IGCSE, A-Levels)
  
• American system (with AP classes and GPA grading)

International Schools typically:

• Teach in English.
  
• Offer a multicultural environment.
  
• Employ international staff, with experience teaching globally.
  
• Charge tuition, the price of which can vary widely between International Schools and cities. 

International schools are particularly popular in larger German cities like Berlin, Frankfurt, Munich, Düsseldorf and Hamburg, reflecting the multicultural population of these cities.

Designed to provide seamless education for students from around the world, International Schools support students who may be relocating frequently, or who will be returning to their home country in the future.

Read More about the Best Cities for Expat Families in Germany 

Comparing Public vs. International Schools in Germany

To help you evaluate both options, here’s a side-by-side comparison:

Explore the International Schools of Germany.

Key Considerations for Expat Families

Choosing the education system that’s best for your kids isn’t just about academic outcomes. It’s also about finding a school that matches your values as a family, your child’s personality and ambitions and your family’s long-term goals. 

Here are a few questions to consider before making a final decision:

1. How long will we stay in Germany?

• If your stay is short (1–3 years), international schools may provide a smoother transition.
  
• If you plan to settle long-term, public schools support deeper language learning and cultural integration.

2. How old is our child – and do they speak German?

• Young children often pick up German quickly and may thrive in public schools.
  
• Older kids or teens might benefit from the educational consistency of an international school.

3. Do we want cultural immersion or continuity?

• Public schools offer full immersion in German life and friendships with local peers.
  
• International schools provide familiarity with language, teaching methods, and global peer groups.

4. What’s our budget?

• Public schools are free (with small incidental costs).
  
• International schools charge tuition, which can be significant—especially with more than one child.

5. Where will our child thrive?

• Some children embrace change and thrive in a new system.
  
• Others feel more secure with familiar structures and language. Consider involving your child in the decision if age-appropriate.

My Experience 

Once we moved past the initial challenge of learning the system and how to apply for a place at Krippe, we had to decide: a local Kindergarten, a bi-lingual Kindergarten or an international kindergarten?

Why We Chose Local Kindergarten

It made sense for us to use a local kindergarten – it was in our neighbourhood, we’d heard positive feedback about it and most importantly: there was a spot! 

The major benefit of the International Krippe was that they spoke exclusively English. However, one of our main reasons for being in Germany was for our daughter to be bi-lingual. As I speak English with her at home, we felt comfortable with her being educated in only German. 

Our Decision for Primary School

Fast forward to now and she’s no longer a Krippe kid! Primary School is now mere months away and we’ve done the hard yards of researching schools, weighing up our options and have again decided in favour of a local school where she will be educated in German.

Why We Chose a Freieschule

A Freieschule is equivalent to a private school. It is not prestigious like private schools in Australia or other countries but rather offers a specific pedagogical approach that differs from mainstream schooling. 

It wasn’t that we were unsatisfied with the mainstream Grundschule, but that this specific school offered a range of benefits that we felt suited our daughter and would encourage her ongoing development as a whole person, not just academically. 

For us, it was important to remain in a multi-cultural setting, which this school offers us. In addition, it focuses on developing people, not just learners. There is a high priority placed on creative and flexible thinking, something that we value. 

This was a hard decision and took a lot of discussion, investigation and negotiation between my husband and me. But I’m comfortable with the decision and am excited to see what the next chapter of my daughter’s life brings.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, the ‘best’ choice looks different for every family—and that’s okay.

Questions for YOU before choosing 

As with all major decisions, your first step should be to be clear on your goals and expectations. In this case, you need to be sure that you and your partner are on the same page about all aspects of your move to Germany.

Ask yourselves the following questions to help you gain clarity in your decision:

• What do we want our child/ren to gain from their experience in Germany?
  
  
• Is it important that they become fluent in German? If so, why? How would you define fluent?
  
  
• How long are we planning to stay?
  
  
• Thinking ahead, what academic qualifications will best help my kids reach their dream goals?
  
  
• Can we afford an international school? Or would a public school, offering additional language assistance, be suitable?

Last Thoughts on Public Schools vs International Schools in Germany 

Making this decision feels hard because it is hard. 

But remember: there’s no one right choice. This decision needs to be made with your child and your family in mind. 

What’s best for you and your family might not be right for the other expat family down the street. 

Making a decision that supports your child’s needs comes from weighing up your values, needs and long-term goals for your family.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

Why not downlaod your FREE Expat Start Kit? It’s filled with tips and toold to help you thrive in your first 90 days abroad.

The post How to Decide: Public or International School in Germany? appeared first on Professional Support for Families Relocating to Germany.

Don’t just survive your first 30 days in Germany, thrive.

The Expat Starter Kit for Germany includes a first-month planner, helpful phrases for appointments and where to find support in your early days in Germany.

Get your FREE Expat Starter Kit

These thoughts raced through my mind as we sped down the runway, finally departing for our new life as a family in Germany.

After years of planning and months of being stalled, we were finally taking off, and I felt every bit of optimism, excitement, and hope fall away behind me.

Have I made the right decision?

It’s a question that still pops into my mind, even after four years of living abroad in Germany.

We don’t have crystal balls to show us both versions of our future. All we have are our values, our hopes, and the information available to us right now to make a decision that reflects the life we want.

If you’re asking yourself, “Should I move to Germany with my family?”, I’m here to help you make the best decision you can. This post offers you a structured process to support your decision-making process to ensure that your move matches your family’s needs and values. 

So grab a drink, a pen, and maybe even your partner. Let’s dive in.

Why Families Consider Moving to Germany

Germany is often seen as an ideal location for families considering a big move abroad, and it’s easy to see why. 

A few reasons are:

• World-class public healthcare and education.
  
• Subsidised childcare and generous parental leave allowances.
  
• Family-friendly cities, complete with playgrounds and green spaces.
  
• Work-life balance is at the core of German culture. While they work hard, they rest even harder.

Many families are drawn to Germany for professional opportunities, while others hope to connect with their own family and heritage. Whatever your reasons for considering a move to Germany, it’s a country well worth exploring for your family. 

Who, What, Where, When, How Long, and Why?

We’ll use these simple but powerful everyday questions to break down your decision-making process and guide your thinking. 

Considering this life-changing decision step-by-step will keep that rising overwhelm at bay and allow you to think critically, not just emotionally about whether Germany is a good fit for your family.  

Who Will Benefit from Moving Abroad?

List every family member on your sheet of paper. Then ask: who benefits, and how?

Maybe relocating to Germany is mainly for your career, or perhaps your partner is returning to their home. Maybe your children will gain language skills or build connections with members of the extended family. 

It’s ok if the perceived benefits of the move aren’t evenly distributed. What matters right now is simply knowing. 

Our natural instinct is to rank these benefits. Who will get the most out of the move? Who will lose from our move abroad? Is that fair? 

Stop. 

Avoid judging or ranking whose benefit matters most. 

In my own experience, I felt resentment early on—my family seemed to thrive while I struggled to find my footing. But over time, I realised we all benefited in different ways, at different times.

Read more about my Motherhood Journey in Germany. 

What Will Be Achieved?

It’s time to get crystal clear on your goals. What do you want to do in Germany, that can’t be done at home?

Here are a few prompts to help you with this step: 

• Do you want to deepen family connections with extended family in Germany/ your children/ your spouse?
  
• Are their career or study options, only available to you in Germany?
  
• Are you looking for a new adventure?
  

When things get hard in your new home (and they will), these goals will become your anchor. 

For my family, our “whats” were:

• Experiencing life in Germany, my husband’s home ✅
  
• Learning German (the children and me) ✅
  
• Nurturing relationships with members of our extended German family ✅

Four years in and we’ve checked every box.

This step will also help you see if you’re running away from your current life. Moving to Germany will not help anything that you want to run away from. A move to Germany with your family will not solve these problems. 

Where Will You Move?

Sure, you probably already have a city in mind. Even so, zoom in on the details and consider:

• Which neighbourhoods are family-friendly?
  
• Are there schools and kindergartens nearby? Are they bilingual or international schools?
  
• Is there an established community of expat families, with whom to build a solid expat support network? 

If you don’t know yet, that’s no problem. Start research now – join Facebook groups, look for local expat blogs, and read what other families have experienced. 

The more specific you are now, the easier it will be for you later. 

When Will You Move?

Is your deadline fixed or is the timeline more flexible? 

Think about:

• How long do you need to prepare the required paperwork and logistics?
  
• The best way to transition your children from their old school into the new.
  
• Whether you’ll travel Germany or Europe more broadly before settling down.
  
• When the new job in Germany starts and when your current lease ends. 

Having a clear timeline helps you feel grounded, even if things change. And they will change. 

We were packed and ready to move to Germany as a family in March 20202 . . . and then the Pandemic shut the world’s borders. 

Flexibility matters and it’s easier to be flexible when we have a plan in the first place. 

How Long Will You Live Abroad?

Is this a one-year adventure, or a long-term relocation? 

While considering if you should move to Germany with your family, get clear on your initial plan and as a family, agree to revisit it at regular intervals. 

You don’t have to have all the answers right now, but a shared understanding goes a long way to avoid conflict, disappointment and resentment later. 

Our original plan was to live in Germany as a family for 3 – 5 years. We’re four years in and are still figuring out what comes next. 

Get your FREE Expat Start Kit.

Why Are You Moving?

We have arrived at the heart of your decision. 

Your “why” might be different from your partner’s, and that’s ok. What matters is articulating your individual and shared purposes. Understanding each other’s why will deepen your understanding of each other and better support your relationship after the big move. 

Ask yourself: Why does this move make sense for me? For us? For our kids?

Try to go deeper than simply “for work” or “for a change”. Here are some prompts to help you dig deeper:

• Why is this opportunity in Germany worth the international move with my family?
  
• Why is this drastic change required or desired?
  
• Why am I drawn to Germany? 

Your “why” will be tightly linked to your personal values: what you want for your life, your relationship and your children. 

Because when challenges arise (and they will), you’ll need a strong “why” to keep pushing you forward to build the life of your dreams in Germany. 

Germany: A Family-Friendly Choice

Germany doesn’t just accommodate families, it actively supports them. 

Here are just a few examples of how:

• Childcare is typically very affordable and widely available to families.
  
• Education is free, all the way up to University level.
  
• Employees have strong protections and support, including generous leave policies.
  
• World-class healthcare is holistic, easily accessible and free.
  
• Public spaces, including playgrounds, greenspaces and city squares, are designed for families to enjoy together with other families. 

I’m not trying to paint an idealised picture of Germany. It isn’t the perfect place and life here can still be hard. But in my experience, the support provided for families can make a very real difference to the functioning of our family. 

Want to know more? Read this comprehensive guide from Expatica.com.

Challenges You Might Face (and How to Handle Them)

Moving abroad is never straightforward and often includes bumps in the road. 

You might experience:

• Frustratingly slow and complicated bureaucracy: In-person appointments for everything, minimal information and unhelpful staff.
  
• Language barriers: Particularly for official paperwork and communication with the school or Kindergarten.
  
• Culture shocks and confusions: What’s “normal” here? How to parent, the expected behaviour at school and work or the way people interact with one another socially.
  
• Loneliness and homesickness: Especially if you don’t have family nearby.
  

How to handle them:

• Be Prepared: Do your research and know what to expect when you arrive.
  
• Find Support: Before you move, join expat parenting communities or work with a relocation coach to plan your move and settlement phases with confidence.
  
• Stay Flexible: Expect the unexpected, stay flexible and know that adjusting to your new life will take time.
  
• Mindset Work: Remember your “why”. You’re building the life you’ve dreamt of and there will be challenging times ahead. Stay focused, remain calm and the rest will fall into place. 

Common Objections (and Why They’re Valid—But Solvable)

What if my kids don’t adjust?

Kids are incredibly resilient. With the right support and time, most kids will thrive in their new life. 

Talk with them, validate their feelings and always involve them in your planning. 

Let them have some control over their own changing life. 

Read my top tips for supporting your homesick kids.  

I’m worried about learning the language.

This is probably one of the main objections I hear! And I get it. Learning a language is hard, especially as an adult (I know, I’ve done it!). 

But remember: You don’t need to be fluent overnight. Start with key phrases, and consider online lessons. Many families arrive speaking little German and learn it gradually over time.

How necessary it is for you to speak German will depend on where you live and your field of work. This alone shouldn’t stop you from making the move if Germany really is your dream location. 

I’m afraid I’ll lose my support network.

Packing up and leaving our lives behind, including our beloved friends and family, is hard. In time,  you will build new connections with people who understand your new life. They’ll be by your side through the ups and downs of your new expat life. 

You won’t lose your old friendships but they will look different. Thank goodness we live in the digital age. Keeping in contact with your long-distance bestie has never been easier. 

Learn how to build your expat support network, even before you leave home. 

Head, Heart & Logistics: A Quick Decision Tool

Here’s a simple framework to reflect on your decision:

Head – Does this make logical, practical sense? 

Heart – Does this move feel aligned with your values and dreams? 

Logistics – Can we realistically make this happen?

Want help thinking through it? I created a free workbook you can download to walk through these questions with your partner.

? [Download the Family Move Decision-Making Workbook]

FAQ: Should I Move to Germany with My Family?

Is there an ideal age for kids to move?
Many say the younger, the better – but children of all ages can thrive when given the right support and tools to navigate their transition.

Do I need to know German before I go?
No. It helps, but it’s not essential. You can begin learning after you arrive, though having a few basics will ease your transition.

Can we afford it?
Germany can be very affordable, especially compared to other cities like London or New York City. Public Healthcare and Education reduce costs significantly. Watch this video from @usa.mom.in.germany for a great explanation.

What should I prepare before moving?

• Paperwork: visas, birth certificates, health insurance).
• Housing research.
• Building a basic support network online.

Decision Time

You’ve reflected, you’ve journaled and maybe you’ve even talked it through with your partner. 

But you’re still not 100% sure? That’s ok. 

There is no right or wrong answer – only the decision that is right for you and your family. 

Get curious, gather some more information, and trust yourself. Your gut is telling you what you need to do. 

Whether you decide to stay or relocate your family to Germany, you’re already so brave for even considering this huge step. 

And if you do decide to move?

Know that you don’t have to do it alone. I’m here to help.

Get my FREE Expat Family Starter Kit

You’ve got this.

The post Should I Move to Germany With My Family? How to Decide If It’s Right For You appeared first on Professional Support for Families Relocating to Germany.

Moving abroad with your family is a brave and beautiful decision. Whether for work, family commitments or you’re chasing a new adventure, this guide will walk you through the 7 best cities for expat families in Germany.

Don’t just survive your first 30 days in Germany, thrive.

The Expat Starter Kit for Germany includes a first-month planner, helpful phrases for appointments and where to find support in your early days in Germany.

Get your FREE Expat Starter Kit

With its strong infrastructure, high quality of life, excellent education system, and commitment to family-friendly policies, Germany can be an excellent choice for professional families looking for their next big challenge. 

But which city will suit you the best? 

As a relocation coach and fellow expat Mother, I understand the challenge of trying to picture your life in another city. Settling abroad isn’t just about the big moments.

It’s the small things: your child making their first friend at a local playground, navigating your first grocery trip in German, finding your family’s favourite café. 

That’s the real beginning of your new life—and it’s closer than you think. I’m here to show you that building your new life abroad is possible with the right support and with a little insider knowledge. 

1. Munich: Safe, Traditional, Outdoorsy

Munich offers high living standards, safety, and endless outdoor escapes for families who want structure, tradition, and adventure.

The capital of Bavaria, Munich is a favourite among expat families moving to Germany. And for good reason. 

Munich stands out for its exceptional safety and quality of life, with 94% of residents expressing satisfaction with life in the city, according to the European Commission’s 2023 Quality of Life in European Cities Report.

According to Numbeo’s 2024 rankings, Munich has one of the lowest crime rates among major cities in Germany. 

It is also a melting pot of people from all over the world, with nearly 50% of the population having a migration background, meaning that building your expat support network is easy. 

A top-tier education system for your kids is also on offer, as well as plenty of public parks, a well-connected public transport system and the best bit? You’re only a short drive from the breathtaking Mountains and Lakes of Southern Germany, Austria and Italy. 

Why families love it:

• High standard of living (even by German standards!).
  
• Access to a range of international schools and bilingual kindergartens.
  
• Loads of outdoor spaces: playgrounds, animal parks, lakes and mountains. What more could you ask for?
  
• A strong expat community, making it easy to find other expat families in Germany.
  

Potential challenges:

• High cost of living, particularly the cost of rent.
  
• Childcare places are competitive and expensive.
  
• A more formal and traditional cultural atmosphere than other cities in Germany.
  

Best for: 

Families with a stable income (preferably already with a job lined up) who are looking for a safe and internationally minded city with plenty of potential for outdoor adventures. 

2. Berlin: Creative, Multicultural, Progressive

Berlin brings together cultural diversity, alternative education, and urban energy for families seeking creativity and connection.

Germany’s capital city is an obvious choice for many. With its vibrant mix of cultures, languages and artistic communities, Berlin offers expat families access to a progressive lifestyle. 

Berlin offers a range of schooling options, including bilingual and alternative schools, green spaces and an open-minded, progressive atmosphere. 

Why families love it:

• A strong community of expat families.
  
• More affordable childcare options compared to other major cities.
  
• Bilingual and alternative education options for children of all ages.
  
• Endless number of parks, playgrounds, museums and other events to explore with kids.
  
• Well connected to the rest of Germany and Europe by rail and flying. 

Potential challenges:

• Bureaucracy can be slow-moving (even slower than the rest of Germany!)
  
• Finding accommodation can be particularly challenging in popular expat areas like Friedrichshain and Charlottenburg
  
• Berlin retains much of its gritty and grungy vibe, which can be off-putting for many families.
  
• It can be loud and extremely busy.
  

Best for: 

Families who value diversity, creativity, and flexible learning environments and who want to be well-connected to the rest of Germany and Europe. 

3. Heidelberg – Family-friendly, Academic, Relaxed 

Heidelberg’s historic charm, strong international schools, and peaceful environment make it ideal for academically-minded families.

This small, historic and charming city is nestled in the mountains, offering a near-constant view across the green slopes. Home to Germany’s oldest university, Heidelberg has a relaxed vibe and has a large population of expat families, particularly those connected with academia and research. 

Why families love it:

• Safe with stunning views.
  
• Access to top international schools.
  
• A strong English-speaking community of expat families.
  
• It’s walkable, with great public transport options.
  

Potential challenges:

• There are limited job opportunities for those outside of academia and research.
  
• With a population of less than 200,000, it lacks many of the “Big City” experiences. 

Best for: 

Families that are seeking a calm city with a beautiful environment and strong education options. 

4. Freiburg: Sustainable, International, Innovative 

Freiburg blends eco-friendly living with innovation and a welcoming community, perfect for nature-loving, forward-thinking families.

Tucked away near the borders of France and Switzerland, this eco-friendly city is perfect for families who value sustainability and the outdoors. 

Freiburg enjoys better weather year-round than most of Germany—and stands out for its international mindset and innovation, earning it the nickname Green City for its environmental leadership.

Why families love it:

• Environmentally friendly: cyclable and many green-city policies.
  
• Easy access to the great outdoors with hiking, skiing and rivers.
  
• Strong focus on family life and community engagement.
  
• Slower pace than larger cities.
  

Potential challenges:

• As Freiburg is a smaller city, the community of expat families is also comparatively smaller.
  
• Reduced options for bilingual kindergartens and international schools.
  
• Fewer job opportunities outside of the major industries of green and renewable technology, research and health sciences. 

Best for: 

Families who value sustainability and nature-based living. 

5. Hamburg: Water Views, Culture, International Opportunity

Hamburg combines waterfront living, cultural richness, and strong career prospects for families seeking both opportunity and balance.

Germany’s second-largest city blends maritime charm with modern flair. It’s network of canals, parks and a cosmopolitan vibe, Hamburg offers a family-friendly atmosphere, and a thriving international business centre.

Why families love it:

• Beautiful lakes and riverside areas for children to play.
  
• Bilingual kindergarten and school options.
  
• Lots of kid-friendly museums, theatres and festivals.
  
• Internation career potential.
  

Potential challenges:

• Weather is often grey, rainy, windy and cold.
  
• Accommodation costs can be prohibitive, particularly in the popular central areas.
  

Best for: 

Families who want urban living with easy access to water, parks and a network of expat families.

6. Düsseldorf: Stylish, Cosmopolitan, Liveable

Düsseldorf’s polished infrastructure, international schools, and global business networks create a smooth landing for expat families.

Renowned for its vibrant arts scene and strong international community of expat families, Düsseldorf is an easy yes for professionals working in the finance or trade sectors. 

While a smaller city, Düsseldorf is sophisticated, internationally-minded and family-friendly. 

Why families love it:

• A range of international schools to choose from.
  
• Clean, modern and reliable infrastructure.
  
• Multilingual services are available for newcomers.
  

Potential challenges:

• It lacks the German charm many visitors to Germany are seeking.

Best for: 

Families working in the corporate world who are looking for comfort, ease of settlement and connections with other expat families. 

7. Leipzig: Creative, Affordable, Still Evolving 

Leipzig offers affordable living, a growing creative scene, and space for families wanting to build a vibrant new life abroad.

Often called the “new Berlin”, this Saxon city offers culture, community connection and an affordable lifestyle. 

Leipzig is ideal for families seeking space to grow, affordable housing, community connection, and a thriving creative scene.”

Why families love it:

• Lower cost of living, particularly housing.
  
• Family and art-friendly communities exist and are still growing. 
  
• A walkable and cyclable city, with reliable public transport and easy connections to the rest of Germany.
  
• A rich cultural offering, including music, theatre and the arts. 

Potential challenges:

• There are few bilingual kindergarten and international school options.
  
• A still developing expat community.
  

Best for: 

Younger families seeking an affordable lifestyle with access to creative communities. 

How to Choose the Right City for You? 

Now that you know the best cities for expat families in Germany, how do you choose the right one with confidence?

Here are a few of the things I recommend you keep in mind when choosing the best German city for your expat family:

• Income vs. Cost of Housing: Larger cities like Munich and Hamburg are much more expensive than their smaller counterparts, Heidelberg, Freiburg and Leipzig. Even though wages are higher in these cities, money doesn’t go as far, particularly for housing. You will get a much larger apartment in Leipzig for less than you will in Munich for more.
  
  
• Kindergarten and Schooling options: Depending on your children’s German language skills, the option to have them educated in English may be a priority for your family. The larger cities have a wider selection of bilingual kindergartens and international schools if this is an important factor for your family.
  
  
• Which city are you? Are you a lover of the outdoors, who enjoys the quiet life? (Freiburg) Or do you prefer a bustling, progressive and international vibe? (Berlin) Consider which city suits you and your family the best.
  
  
• Job Opportunities: Sadly, a move to Germany is unlikely to happen without some strings attached. At some point, work will play an important role. Each city has its specialty — Berlin for startups, Düsseldorf for business, and Hamburg for trade. Consider where your professional skills have a competitive advantage.
  
  
• Expat Support Networks: The bigger German cities tend to have a more vibrant community of expat families, offering a greater level of support for English-speaking expats to settle in and navigate the necessary bureaucracy. 

How I Can Help Expat Families Settle In 

Choosing your future home is just the beginning. The real work starts with navigating the bureaucracy, finding an apartment, enrolling your kids into childcare and housing and building your new life, from the ground up. 

That’s where I come in. 

I help professional mothers like you overcome Germany’s complicated bureaucratic systems and get your family settled faster and with less stress.

My support includes:

• Personalized guidance and tailored relocation coaching.
  
• Help complete official documents, secure appointments and get the bureaucracy done right.
  
• Emotional and logistical support throughout your big transition.
  

You don’t have to do it alone. I’ve done it already and I’d be honoured to support you through it, too. 

Conclusion

Germany offers so much to expat families – from safety and structure to creativity and easy access to the breathtaking outdoors. Whether you’re dreaming of mountain air, riverside cafes, or vibrant city life, there’s a city in Germany to match your personality. 

No matter what you’re seeking, these are truly the best cities for expat families in Germany to call home.

If you’re considering a move abroad, or just starting to explore the possibilities, let this guide inspire your next steps. 

Want to know even more about moving abroad with kids?

Download my free Expat Family Started Pack.

Your new life doesn’t have to be perfect—but it can absolutely be possible.

The post Best Cities for Expat Families in Germany: Starting Your New Life appeared first on Professional Support for Families Relocating to Germany.

Did you know that expats recently ranked Germany 49th in a survey of 53 countries when considering their happiness abroad? The report claims “Expats are the among the loneliest and unhappiest worldwide”.

Don’t just survive your first 30 days in Germany, thrive.

The Expat Starter Kit for Germany includes a first-month planner, helpful phrases for appointments and where to find support in your early days in Germany.

Get your FREE Expat Starter Kit

Yikes!

But you’ve decided to move to Germany. Now what? 

The challenges of moving abroad are not only the logistics of “what should I pack?” and booking your flights. 

Things to consider include: 

Administrative Challenges 

Visas, dealing with local authorities, health insurance, the education system. It’s a long list of things to manage. 

Cultural Challenges 

Language barriers and cultural differences can lead to feelings of isolation, loneliness or even frustration and anger. 

Family Challenges 

Each member of the family will experience the relocation differently and require differing levels of support to manage feelings of homesickness, loss, grief and navigating their new life abroad. 

Having someone by your side with local knowledge, language skills and personal experience as an expat in Germany ensures that your relocation to Germany is seamless. Let’s ensure you’re not one of the “loneliest and unhappiest” expats in Germany!

Top Benefits of Personalized Relocation Services to Germany

Every relocation experience is unique. The success of a relocation depends on many factors, including:

• Personal motivations for the relocation,
  
• Individual expectations of a new life in the new city,
  
• Previous experience/s relocating
  
• Family dynamics between partners and children,
  
• Individual flexibility, sense of adventure and coping strategies
  
• Willingness to learn
  
• Acceptance and comfort with cultural differences. 

Here are the top three benefits of personalized relocation services for your family’s relocation to Germany.

1. Personalized Advice and Emotional Support 

You’re the expert in your situation. Only you know your motivations for moving abroad and your goals for your new life. 

Personalized relocation services mean your goals and priorities will become my goals and priorities.

Could you do all of the packing, list-making and appointment setting yourself? Of course you can! But why make the To-Do lists, the research and the leg-work when I can do it for you? Besides, I’ve already done it before. 

2. Saves You Time

With so many competing priorities for you and your family, where do you start? Do you start with the easiest task or the most important? Will you begin with the logistics or the bureaucracy? 

Using relocation services for expats in Germany will save you time. No more hours spent staring at your screen, switching tabs or flicking through that pile of paper. 

Personalized relocation services to Germany is your short-cut to understanding exactly what needs to happen and when. You can ask me questions anytime and know that the answer will be tailored to your unique circumstances.

No more time wasted scrolling through Facebook Groups or Reddit threads. 

3. No Language Barrier

Unless you already speak German, the language barrier is real. 

Bureaucrats here are only allowed to work with people in Germany. That makes it tough for new arrivals without local language skills or a trusted local who can act as an interpreter. 

I know what you’re thinking. “I’ll just use Google Translate!”. 

The trouble is that many words, particularly in German bureaucracy, cannot be properly translated. Specific processes, documents and permissions only exist in Germany. 

A key resource in your personalised relocation support to Germany is quick reference guides to these terms. 

Common Challenges When Moving to Germany 

Here are some of the most common challenges families face when they relocate to Germany. 

Administrative Challenges 

In this survey, one of expats’ biggest challenges is managing everyday tasks and bureaucracy with 56% of respondents naming the local bureaucracy as a key challenge to their settlement in Germany. 

Not only is there a lot of bureaucracy to manage, it’s all paper-based and often can only be completed in person. 

Examples of administrative challenges include: 

• Finding an Apartment in Germany
  
• Managing your visa through the Ausläderbehörde
  
• How to register your address with the Bürgeramt 
  
• Applying for Health Insurance for expats in Germany
  
• Meeting your obligations to the Steuer Amt
  
• Finding work
  
• Accessing the childcare and education system
  
• Driving in Germany

Having a familiar voice in Germany to talk you through these processes takes the pressure off you, so you can focus on supporting your family through the settlement period. 

Read my post to prepare for success with German Bureaucracy.

Cultural Challenges

Experiencing homesickness, social isolation due to cultural differences or discrimination and language barriers are very real challenges for expat families who have relocated to Germany. 

50% of survey respondents found life in Germany difficult without German language skills, compared to the global average of 32%. 

Aside from the challenges of learning German, other cultural challenges for expats in Germany might include:

• Social interactions. For example, there is no small talk with strangers.  
  
• Workplace cultures. Germans are often very private, maintaining a strong separation between personal and professional spheres. 
  
• Always being a foreigner. Around 15% of the German population are immigrants (more data and explanation here), though this number is much lower in parts of the country. In Saxony where I live, less than 10% of the population are foreign-born. These figures are striking if you’re from a country like Canada (20% immigrant population) or Australia (30% immigrant population).

While every new expat in Germany will have to navigate these challenges, I can help prepare you for them before you arrive and counsel you through them as you experience them in real life. 

Family Challenges 

The dynamics of your family will play a central role in everyone’s smooth relocation and settlement experience in Germany. 

Some common challenges experienced by expats when they arrive in Germany are:

• Changes in your romantic relationship. Due to experiencing stress or a dramatic shift in your dynamic (maybe only one partner is working instead of both?). This challenge can be proactively planned for to avoid the worst.
  
• Emotional changes in your kids. A relocation is huge for kids and they will need your ongoing support and understanding as they adjust. Your children might display emotional changes (needing extra cuddles or time alone) or behavioural changes (perhaps they’re more introverted than before or having trouble sleeping). While most of these changes will be temporary, it’s good to understand what might happen before you arrive.
  
• Making Friends. Creating a Social Network is one of the most important steps to a successful settlement experience. However, without German language skills or local contacts, this can be very difficult to achieve. Indeed, 55% of respondents reported finding it difficult to make friends in Germany, compared with the global average of 36%. 

Personalised relocation services to Germany can prepare you and your family for these challenges, by providing education on these topics before your big move and by offering practical strategies and local support services once you’re in Germany. 

Conclusion

Relocating to Germany with your family is a huge step. Every family has their own motivations for this change and brings unique perspectives to the challenges that they may experience.

Despite it’s bad press, I’ve built a thriving life in with my family in Germany and I know you can too. With the right support before, during and after your move, you and your family will never look back with regret. 

Get your FREE Expat Start Kit to start your new life abroad with clarity.

The post Personalized Relocation Services: What You Need to Know   appeared first on Professional Support for Families Relocating to Germany.

After five years in Germany, I’ve cracked the code to successfully managing Germany’s infamous bureaucracy. 

Don’t just survive your first 30 days in Germany, thrive.

The Expat Starter Kit for Germany includes a first-month planner, helpful phrases for appointments and where to find support in your early days in Germany.

Get your FREE Expat Starter Kit

Until you’ve lived here, it’s hard to believe the tail-chasing systems Germany relies on to keep it functioning.

Like that time the Ausländerbehörde sent me details of an appointment at BAMF. I arrived and was given details for another appointment at BAMF. Where I was, already. That was an adventure.  

Over the years I’ve heard a lot of foreigners complain about the systems. I get it. The processes are tedious. It’s all actual paperwork. A lot of it makes no sense.

Unfortunately, complaining won’t change it and we still have to go through the motions as long as we want to live here.

Here is your game-plan for success with German bureaucracy. 

If you want more about the struggles of living abroad, read my post Why Living Abroad Sucks (and how I got over it)

STEP 1: Find the right office (because, yes, there are many!) 

Your first step on this mission – should you choose to accept it – is to find out exactly which authority handles your application. Yes, it’s like a game of Guess Who, but honestly, figuring out who handles what is half the battle here. 

Common authorities that you’ll have to deal with while living in Germany are:

• Ausländerbehörder
• BurgerBuro
• Steueramt
• Rentenversicherung 
• Krankenkasse 
  

By first understanding who is responsible for this process, you’ll be better able to find all the additional information you’re going to need.

Here’s your map to navigate German bureaucracy:

Now that you’re pretty sure who’s responsible for this application, you’re ready to take-on the mission instructions. 

STEP 2: KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO

It might seem obvious, but you need to understand what you need to do for this application. 

I’ve seen for myself how a lack of understanding about what I should bring or how to present my information for the bureaucrats can lead to annoying delays. 

For example, when I had to resubmit my application for professional registration because I’d misunderstood Beglaubigte Kopie to mean simply the translations. Lesson learnt! Read everything carefully.

To ensure your applications are a success first time, every time, know what is required from you.  

What are the steps of this process?

So, start at the start. 

What steps do you need to take for this application or process?

My guess is that there’ll be many steps and a few side-quests to test your endurance. 

For example, if you’re applying for a residency visa, the steps you’ll need to complete are: 

• Make an appointment at the Ausländerbehörder. 
  
• Collect paperwork according to the list from the Ausländerbehörder. 
  
• Have translations, Apostilles, and certified copies made as required (ahh the side quests!). 
  
• Attend the appointment at the Ausländerbehörder. 
  
• Collect your Ausweiß from the Ausländerbehörder on the specified date. 
  

So, what steps are necessary for your process? 

To find out, read everything. 

You’ll probably get a letter full of steps (and legal jargon) from the authority, but don’t panic—it’s manageable, I promise. Put your passport back – it’s not that bad. Breathe through that overwhelm.

Where do I look for help?

• Check the website of the relevant authority.
  Many (but no, not all) have websites in languages other than German which makes it easier. Some even have handy factsheets and diagrams, showing you how to get on with your paperwork.
  
  
• Does the authority have a support number/ Email address?
  Give them a call or shoot them an email. In my experience, many of the operators can speak English (if you first ask them sehr nett). Your success with emails will depend wholly on the authority that you’re dealing with.
  
  
• Check-in with other foreigners in your city.
  You might have friends in the community who are also foreigners and may be able to point you in the right direction. If not, why not make a public cry for help in one of the ex-pat Facebook groups in your city?
  
  

While online groups can be full an effective way to quickly get an answer, I’ve had mixed results using them. I’ve found the responses to fall into one of three categories:

1. Folk who have the same question and are riding your coattails. 
   
   
2. Jaded expats whose first answer is always “learn German!” but typically followed up by some helpful information.
   
   
3. People sharing their own experience but offer no clear guidance for your problem.

These processes are so personal to your circumstances that an indivdualised response is best. When possible, ask the authority directly. 

Don’t let yourself become overwhelmed by language or confusion or the uncomfortable feeling that maybe I’m going to look a little bit silly if I ask this silly little question. 

Channel your inner-German and be direct. Ask the question. With the direct answer you’ll definitely receive, you’ll be able to get on with the next steps of the process and be sure of the success of your application. 

What documents do you need exactly? 

This one’s easy. It’s pretty typical of German bureaucracy to give you a handy but oh-so-long list of the required documents. 

Here’s a list of the fairly standard documents you will need to provide for most applications:

• Birth certificate
• Passport
• Marriage certificate
• Anmeldung (confirmation of your registered address) 
• Qualifications

REMEMBER: German authorities like to see everything im original. The bureaucrats will then make a copy of the necessary documents during your appointment. 

If you’re submitting documents by post, be sure to confirm:

• If you need to send original documents 

OR

• If you need to send certified copies. 

Getting your documents certified can take some time, so be sure to factor this into your planning. 

And don’t forget, if your documents are not in German, you’ll almost definitely need to have them translated before they’ll be accepted by German authorities. Translations can can take up to two weeks for to be completed.

The timeframe depends on the original language and the nature of documents, so don’t leave this preparation until the last minute!

There are of course exceptions to these rules, thus I say, read everything. 

With the mission’s directions fully understood, it’s time to find shortcuts to avoid overwhelm. 

Step 3: Find foreigner-friendly shortcuts 

Can I do this online?

Your first question needs to be “Can any of this be done online?”.

Generally, no. No it can’t. German authorities are BIG on persönliche gespräche.

Many “online” options still result in receiving letters in the post or having to post out a digital form. 

BUT. 

This is dependent on the authority you’re working with and the city you’re living in. 

For example, in Dresden, I can book appointments with the Burger Buro online but can’t submit anything online.

On the other hand, when submitting documents to the Deutsche Rentenversicherung, I simply emailed everything to my case officer (without translations or certified copies!). 

But my application for professional registration? Everything had to be submitted in paper. Mountains of paper. Certified copies and translations.

So, investigate the options you have. Check any documents you receive from the authority to see if there are any “online” options.

As a foreigner who may not yet be fluent in German, it’s easier to manage as much as possible remotely. 

Downloading printable documents to be completed at home might be the only option available. Online portals to complete full applications are not common among German authorities.

Blame Datenschutz! 

The irony that my online identity is protected online by posting certified and translated copies of every important identity document in the mail is lost on many Germans. 

Könnten wir auf Englisch reden?

In my first years here, I began almost every conversation like this. You never know! Sometimes people even said “Yes” (after painfully explaining in perfect English how poor their English is). 

Sometimes German bureaucracy can work with you in your native language.

Note here that I say can. Many authorities are not allowed to manage applications in a foreign language. Frustrating? Absolutely. But we can always try. 

For example, the Health Insurance company TK has an English help-line and English-language App. The services available in English is limited but it is still super helpful for when you need to discuss complex topics, such as health care.

When the answer is 100% no (don’t be surprised if this is the case), then bring someone with you who can speak German fluently. 

You need to understand what is being discussed and what the next steps for you are.

This person can be a partner, friend, acquaintance or professional interpreter. As long as it’s someone you trust who is fluent in both German and your native language, it’s ok.  

To my knowledge, there’s no restriction to who can accompany you to an appointment. 

TIP: See if your city has any support services available in your language or request support from your local ex-pat Facebook group. 

Alright. Mission control has set the timer. Let’s get organised, lest we ever be late!

Step 4: German punctuality is no joke 

No matter what the application, give yourself more time than you think you’ll need. 

Some of these processes and applications can take a lot of preparation. In my experience, it isn’t the application form that’s the hard part. 

On first look, they might seem straightforward. 

“Great! Only 1 page to fill in!” I thought when I first began the application process to be professionally registered here. Except, that 1 page was the easy part.

Collecting documents, having translations completed and getting certified copies was the time-consuming part.

Be sure that you read everything and fully understand what additional information you’re required to provide. 

Give yourself time to read everything, collect the required documents and attend your appointment or submit it all by mail. 

At the moment I’m going through the process of applying for German citizenship. It is a hefty pile of paper that I need to get through, so I’m tacking one side a day. It takes me about 15 minutes. 

EASY! I can do 15 minutes a day of this paperwork. 

But trying to get through all of the forms and finding the supporting documents in one go? That would not be possible.  

If you need additional time, just ask. Most authorities are very accommodating as long as you communicate directly with them.

The worst thing you can do is come to an appointment unprepared or just skip it altogether. Don’t do that. 

Be more German. Be bold. Just ask. 

And now, it’s time to meet the big boss. You’ve successfully followed your mission instructions and have conquered several annoying but equally important side quests.

It’s submission time.

Step 5: Make your application bullet – I mean, Ämter proof.

Ok, this one isn’t a written rule about how the bureaucracy runs but trust me, it’ll help you see some version of that famed but sorely missing German efficiency. 

I’ve gotten into the habit of rolling up to appointments with my handy display folder complete with colour coded labels. Trust me, the bureaucrats love it. 

When you can whip out the right documents when needed, the speed of bureaucrat’s photocopying will increase, which means you can get out of that eerily quiet office faster (but seriously – for bustling public offices, why are they always SO quiet?). 

If you need to submit your application per Post, send the documents in the display folder. Make a neat little table of contents for the front of the folder and tab the documents down the side. Your application will be processed faster if your application is easy to read.

It is definitely a little tedious but remember – bureaucrats are just people. 

Slow, paper-loving and rule-abiding people with mountains of applications to manually process. If you were in their shoes, would you reach for the unruly pile of papers, or the neatly presented and easy-to-navigate folder of documents? 

Good Luck!

Now don’t get me wrong, you can do all of these things and the bureaucracy still take too long. 

That’s just bureaucracy. Unfortunately, some applications need inter-departmental cooperation and that, in any country, is a recipe for lengthy delays. 

But by taking my advice and implementing these tips into your completion of paperwork, you’ll give yourself the best chance at getting a positive outcome in your application and getting it as fast as possible. 

Get your FREE Expat Start Kit.
It’s full of tips and tools to help you start your new life abroad the right way.

What’s your experience of German bureaucracy so far? Do you have other shortcuts that I’ve missed here? Share them in the comments. I’m always on the lookout for ways to make bureaucracy here more fun. 

Glossary for your adventure with the German authorities 

The post German Bureaucracy: How to Conquer it appeared first on Professional Support for Families Relocating to Germany.

I had no concept that there were different languages. 

Dressing up as an artist for the school dress-up day, I wore a beret and even had a little easel of cardboard to carry.   

Because the clothes were better than what I thought a writer would wear.

A writer is what I wanted to be. 

As far back as I can remember, I wanted to explore the world. 

To understand. 

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This is the point in my story where I should probably tell you that I still don’t understand everything. 

Sadly, I haven’t learnt every word in the world yet, either. But I have learnt German, so I’m closer to my goal. 

I’m not an artist. My clothes don’t even have that cool girl artsy aesthetic. 

And I haven’t yet explored the entire world. 

But here I am. 

Writing. 

Living abroad. 

Raising bilingual children. 

And having worked as a Social Worker, I can tell you that I’ve learnt plenty about people. 

How we connect.

Or don’t.

The way we try to find meaning in our lives.

How quickly hope can be lost. 

That through imperfection, we create the reality of our dreams.  

Why Blog?

As a Mum of two little people living abroad, I realised I had become invisible. 

To myself. 

Between adjusting to parenting, moving abroad, learning a new language and the madness of everyday life, I’d painted myself out of the picture. 

Completely.

My needs came last, if at all. 

Maybe you can relate to the fog of early parenting? Or the chaos of moving a family abroad? 

It was after our first visit back to Australia that I remembered. 

Writing.

I love books. Words. Exploring ideas. Hearing people’s stories. Learning from their experiences. 

I needed to write. 

Following our trip to Australia, we embarked on a five-week road trip through the Balkans. 

This was my space to begin thinking about what to write. 

A year on from those initial, tentative steps toward finding me again, and here we are. 

I am blogging to help you by providing a safe space.

A safe space for women parenting abroad. 

A dream space for families wanting to have adventures with their children. 

And an info hub for anyone who wants to visit Dresden, my current home.

But why Breathe in Between? 

It’s a combination of two phrases I use when under pressure.

“Breathe In”

The moment it takes to breathe in is all it takes. 

All it takes to diffuse a tense situation. To absorb challenging news. Or to find your calm during your toddler’s meltdown.

It’s a skill I’ve worked hard to master and still doesn’t always come easy.

I’m already trying to teach this priceless life skill of self-regulation to my kids (and sometimes it even works!). 

But like all families, we still have meltdowns, temper tantrums and daily complaints! 

“In Between”

These two words make difficult, challenging or near-impossible situations tolerable.

“This is not my life”, I’d tell myself when studying German left me so overwhelmed that I’d cry into my homework like the angsty teen I once was, “I’m just in between not knowing and knowing”. 

And I can say, in my life, I have been in between just about everything.

But it’s a phrase that gives me my power back. 

“I’m not a bad Mother. I’m in between knowing how to manage the old behaviour and learning how to manage this new behaviour.” 

Being in between helps me remain hopeful when everything feels hopeless.

“I’m not alone. I’m in between meeting new people and finding the right people.” 

But most of all, it reminds me to remain optimistic. 

Everything is always leading to another thing.

Life is never still. 

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Why are you in Germany?

Fair question. 

After almost four years here, I have the same three reasons I had in 2019 when we decided to pack up everything and move across the world with our baby daughter.

My kids should be able to speak both languages fluently. 

They’re citizens of Australia (my home) and Germany (my husband’s home). 

For both of us, the ability of our children to connect with and know both cultures was of utmost importance. 

My kids deserve to have a relationship with their German family. 

And I stand by this. My children now have a relationship with Oma that melts my heart (even if she does my head in). 

I know what you’re thinking. “But Tara! What about your family?!” 

And that’s the complicated thing about marrying someone from the other side of the world.

One of us is always a foreigner. 

One side of our family will always miss out. 

It’s not an easy decision. 

The conversation is always open.

Will we be here forever? When will we move back? How would we support the kids through that transition? Are we missing out on a better life there?

Questions we will always have, yet the answers continue to elude us.  

I’d always dreamed of living abroad and exploring Europe.

There’s an ego underlying every decision we make.

And there’s mine. 

I’d dreamt of exploring the whole world. I still do.

Eastern Europe is a region that has always fascinated me. 

As a student of politics and sociology, this region offers a breathtaking amount of culture, history and more than a little social upheaval. 

A paradise for understanding, in other words. 

To my social worker’s mind, this part of the world offered nothing other than the opportunity to learn. 

My favourite thing to do!

And wouldn’t you know it? My husband hails from Dresden, a city in Germany’s East. 

A city previously behind the Iron Curtain.

From here, I’ve uncovered things about myself and people that I didn’t expect.

What I stand for.

How I interact with the world and how I am, in turn, shaped by it. 

Where I fit in this crazy world of ours.

Who I am.

What’s next?

Connecting with my readers. 

I would love nothing more than to hear your experiences of living abroad. 

Of parenting away from home. Or of adventuring with your little people. 

Through my content, I hope to advise, support and empower you to reach for your dreams. 

No matter how wild they seem! I’m still trying to learn every word in the world, syllable by syllable. 

But most of all, I want you to find you.

Like I have. Again.

And remember –

Breathe in. You’re only in between here and there. 

Wherever there is for you. 

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