You’re organised.

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Used to managing competing demands.
Often you’re the family planner, too.

The one who keeps everything moving, no matter what.

You’ve handled pressure, deadlines, responsibility, and complexity before. On the reg.

So when international relocation feels harder than you expected, it can be pretty confusing.

And upsetting. 

Because no one tells you that the very strengths that make you a successful working mother can make relocation feel more destabilising, not less.

This disconnect between preparation and lived experience is one of the most underestimated parts of moving abroad with kids.

I’ve seen it in other expat families and I felt the same way when I first moved abroad. 

Let’s talk honestly about why.

1. You’re Used to Competence and Relocation Takes That Away

In your professional life, you know how things work.

You understand the systems, know how to ask the right questions and trust your own judgement. 

Relocating abroad takes away that familiarity.

Suddenly you:

• don’t understand the healthcare system
  
• are unsure how schools really function
  
• hesitate before making simple phone calls
  
• second-guess decisions you would normally make with confidence.
  
  

You may also notice that your reliance on your partner has increased, something that is deeply uncomfortable for an independent, self-assured woman like you. 

For a capable, high-functioning woman, this loss of competence can feel surprisingly destabilising.

It’s not just inconvenient, it’s an identity shift.

In the months following my international relocation, I experienced an ongoing sense of dread. It felt like I was slowly sinking and I had no idea how to stop myself. 

And when no one tell you that this can be normal, many mothers assume something is wrong with them. I sure did!

For many mothers, this phase is a low-level but persistent feeling of overwhelm. 

Not a crisis. A constant sense of increasing mental load. 

If that resonates, you might find it helpful to read Expat Overwhelm: How to Overcome It.

2. You’re Often Carrying More Than One Role

In many families, professional mothers carry two invisible roles:

• Operational manager
  
• Emotional anchor
  
  

During international relocation, both intensify.

You’re managing:

• Paperwork and appointments
  
• School transitions
  
• New routines
  
• Unfamiliar systems
  
  

At the same time, you’re:

• Helping your children process change
  
• Soothing homesickness
  
• Holding space for their emotions
  
• Trying to stay calm and positive
  
  

Often while struggling yourself.

Professional women are very good at “holding it together.”

Until they can’t anymore. 

Supporting children emotionally during relocation is a job in itself, especially when you’re still finding your own footing. 

It’s a lot. 

If you’re still in the planning phase, I’ve shared practical ways to prepare children emotionally before a move in How to Prepare Your Children Emotionally for an International Move.

3. Your Career Has Transformed (and not always how you imagined) 

For many professional mothers, international relocation comes with a change in career identity.

That might look like:

• A pause
  
• A slower trajectory
  
• A role beneath your previous level
  
• Or uncertainty about work altogether
  
  

Even when the move is intentional and positive, these shifts can bring up complex emotions, including:

• Loss of professional identity
  
• Reduced structure in your days
  
• Less recognition of your skills
  
• Financial dependence and a changed partner dynamic
  
• Questions about “who am I now?” and “what am I even doing here?”.
  
   

You’re still busy. Motherhood doesn’t suddenly become lighter.

But the quality of that busyness changes.

There can be a quiet grief for the version of yourself you might have been had you stayed, sitting right alongside excitement, gratitude, and hope for this new chapter.

That combination is surprisingly hard to articulate. It’s often harder to resolve quickly.

4. You Hold Yourself to High Standards

Professional mothers are often high achievers.

You care deeply about doing things well.

So when:

• Your child struggles at school
  
• Dinner is later or the house is messier than usual
  
• You feel more irritable or emotionally flat.
  
  

It can be hard to manage.

You may find yourself thinking:

“I should be handling this better.”
“What’s wrong with me?”

But international relocation is not a project to execute perfectly.

It’s a transition to live through.

Ttransitions are messy before they stabilise, even for capable and resilient people like you.

5. You’re Used to Being the One With Answers

In your professional life, people come to you for solutions.

You’re the one who knows what to do. How to do it. And where to go to for help if you’re not sure.

Relocation puts you in unfamiliar territory where:

• “Normal” isn’t clear anymore
  
• Adjustment timelines are unpredictable
  
• It’s hard to know which feelings are temporary and which need support.
  

That uncertainty can feel deeply uncomfortable for someone who values clarity and competence.

You don’t want clichés or empty reassurance.

You want actual understanding and practical insight that actually helps.

After five years abroad, I am finally feeling “at home” here. I have regained the feeling of everyday competence in my life, professional and personal. 

But more than that, I’ve developed a way to stay calm and not feel like it’s all my fault when I don’t understand something. 

I’ve learned that the world isn’t watching and that if I keep going, step by slow and sometimes frustrating step, I will get there. 

What Actually Helps When You’re Newly Abroad

This is often the hardest part for professional mothers to hear:

Your usual self-improvement strategies probably won’t help in this case.

Pushing harder ❌

Optimising everything ❌

Trying to prove you can cope ❌

Those approaches often increase the sense of pressure you’re feeling, rather than relieving it.

What helps instead is quieter, steadier support:

• Understanding that identity disruption is normal
  
• Expecting an adjustment window (not a quick “settle in”)
  
• Reducing pressure in the first 90 days
  
• Building predictable routines before expanding socially
  
• Having a space where you don’t have to be the strong one.
  
  

International relocation challenges competence, identity, and emotional bandwidth for all parents, but especially for capable women.

This is why the first three months after a move often feel heavier than expected. Not because you’re doing anything wrong, but because adjustment is non-linear. I

t’s messy and sometimes unpredictable. 

I’ve written more about what families really experience during this period in The First 90 Days After an International Move.

A Quiet Reminder

If you’re a professional mother finding this harder than you expected, there’s nothing wrong with you.

You are not broken. 

You’re navigating:

• A new country
  
• different systems
  
• Shifts in identity
  
• the emotional needs of your children.
  
  

All at once.

It’s a lot. 

You deserve support that understands both your competence and your vulnerability.

Not because you’re incapable, but because even capable women need steadiness when the ground shifts beneath them.

If you’re ready for extra support in your first 90 days abroad, download your FREE “Expat Starter Kit”, designed for professional Mothers’ starting this exciting and life-changing journey.

The post The Struggle is REAL for Professional Mothers Moving Abroad appeared first on Relocation and Travel Coaching.

Did you know that expats are 2.5 times more likely to experience anxiety and depression? 50% of us are put in the “High Risk” category for suffering anxiety and depression*. 

Expat Overwhelm leaves you feeling dazed and unable to complete basic tasks. 

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Culture shock, social adjustment, and the emotional load of moving abroad all play a role, but for many mothers, the most disruptive part isn’t logistical at all.

It’s what happens internally once everything familiar disappears.

In my first winter in Germany, I lost hats, gloves, wallet, and keys. I’d never before been so muddle-headed. 

I felt uneasy about visiting new places. Engaging with strangers filled me with dread. I often sat on the couch, unsure what to do next. 

This wasn’t who I thought I was.

And that disconnect between who you know yourself to be and how you’re functioning is often the most frightening part of expat overwhelm.

What is Expat Overwhelm?

Expat overwhelm is the result of sustained stress without familiar anchors.

It’s the ongoing experience of:

• What do I do now?
  
• How do I do it here?
  
• Who can I ask for help?
  

Often referred to as “expat syndrome,” this state is widely misunderstood and confused with homesickness.

Instead of recognising it as a predictable response to prolonged change, many women internalise it and ask:

What’s wrong with me?

Nothing.

When stress, isolation, and self-doubt combine — especially while parenting — the nervous system can shift into a freeze response.

This is what being “stuck” actually feels like.

Symptoms of Expat Overwhelm

Expat overwhelm can look like:

• General confusion
  
• Forgetfulness
  
• Reduced ability to concentrate
  
• Fatigue
  
• Disturbed sleep
  
• Persistent self-doubt
  

These symptoms are often misinterpreted, or misdiagnosed, which can increase fear rather than reduce it.

If you are in immediate danger or need urgent support, please see the emergency resources at the end of this post.

If you are in immediate danger and need urgent support, please see the emergency resources at the end of this post.

Why Expat Overwhelm Happens (Especially for Mothers)

Expat overwhelm isn’t a personal failure or a sign that you’re “not cut out for this life.”
It’s a predictable response to sustained change — particularly when you’re responsible not only for yourself, but for your children too.

Most families expect the move itself to be stressful.
What they don’t anticipate is how long the adjustment phase lasts, and how many layers of pressure it carries.

For mothers, that pressure tends to stack quietly and cumulatively.

The Loss of Familiar Systems

Much of our day-to-day confidence comes from familiarity.

Knowing how things work.
Knowing where to go.
Knowing what’s expected of you — and how to get things done efficiently.

When you move abroad, those systems disappear overnight.

Suddenly, simple tasks require extra thought.
Routine errands take more time.
Every decision — from paperwork to parenting — carries more weight.

Even highly capable women can feel unsteady when the scaffolding that once supported them is gone. Not because they’ve changed, but because the environment has.

The Invisible Emotional Load of Motherhood Abroad

On top of managing your own adjustment, you’re often carrying the emotional load for your children as well.

You’re watching for signs of homesickness.
Translating unfamiliar experiences.
Holding space for big feelings — while trying to stay regulated yourself.

Much of this work is invisible. It doesn’t show up on a checklist, but it takes real energy.

When mothers feel depleted abroad, it’s often because they’re doing far more emotional labour than they realise — without the usual support structures to offset it.

Language, Isolation, and Constant Adjustment

Language barriers and cultural differences add another layer of strain.

Even when you speak the local language reasonably well, operating in a second language requires more concentration. Social cues are harder to read. Small misunderstandings can feel outsized.

At the same time, familiar social connections may be missing — friends, family, casual support.

This combination of isolation and constant adjustment keeps the nervous system in a low-level state of alert, making it harder to rest and recover.

The Impact of Climate and Diet Changes

What’s often overlooked is the physical side of adjustment.

Changes in climate, light exposure, food, and daily rhythms can have a significant impact on energy levels, sleep, mood, and overall wellbeing.

Different seasons, longer winters, or less daylight can affect emotional resilience.
New foods — or the absence of familiar ones — can influence digestion, appetite, and comfort.

When your body is quietly working harder to adapt, emotional capacity tends to shrink.

This doesn’t mean anything is “wrong.” It means your system is adjusting on multiple levels at once — physically, emotionally, and psychologically.

Why It Can Feel Like Too Much

When all of these factors combine — loss of familiarity, increased emotional labour, social isolation, and physical adjustment — overwhelm becomes a logical outcome.

Not dramatic.
Not unexpected.
And not permanent.

Understanding why this happens is often the first step toward regaining a sense of stability and self-trust.

Why This Isn’t Your Fault

You are not overwhelmed because you are:

• weak
  
• lazy
  
• incapable
  

Expat overwhelm doesn’t arrive all at once.

It builds slowly, especially when you start believing you should be coping better.

That belief, and not the move itself,  is often what keeps women stuck.

Isn’t Expat Overwhelm just feeling homesick? 

Not quite. 

Feeling homesick is an acute longing for the familiar. The sudden urge to smell your Mum’s cooking or the surprising pang of sadness when you put up the Christmas Tree and it just doesn’t feel the same. 

In it’s most extreme form, feeling homesick can manifest with severe physical and emotional symptoms. It is a sickness, afterall. 

Expat Overwhelm is an experience of stress that can keep you stuck and stop you from fulfilling your goals of living abroad. For example, in the overwhelmed state, you may be unable to be productive, social or emotionally available to your family.

Read my post about overcoming homesickness here. 

From Overwhelm to a New Normal (My Story)

I moved to Germany during the pandemic. 

Was it the worst time to begin a new life in a foreign country? Quite probably.

No language skills.
No social connections.
No ability to travel the way we’d planned.

At first, it felt like an adventure.

But gradually, self-doubt crept in.

Was this a mistake?
Had I ruined something for my child?
Why did everything feel so hard?

I became forgetful.
Decision-making felt impossible.
Life felt like too much.

What helped wasn’t fixing everything — it was stabilising enough to keep going.

• Building a social network, one small interaction at a time
  
• Learning the language, slowly reclaiming my competence
  
• Accepting my limits without giving up
  
• Remembering why we moved
  
• Allowing time to do what only time can do

You can read more about my story here. 

What Actually Helps Expat Overwhelm

Expat overwhelm isn’t permanent, but it does require support.

Create predictable routines

Biological rhythms matter: sleep, movement, food, daylight.

When the body feels safe, the mind can follow.

Build support intentionally

Community doesn’t happen accidentally abroad.

It’s built — awkwardly at first, then more naturally.

Adjust expectations

Your timeline is not someone else’s.

Pressure delays adjustment; self-compassion supports it.

Care for yourself on purpose

Even 20 minutes a day matters.
Especially at the beginning.

Small Steps, Big Changes 

Expat Overwhelm, interestingly, isn’t universal. Not every expat experiences it. 

Some people settle into their new lives without a problem. Why are they so lucky? What’s different about their experience? 

Partly, your temperament is to blame. Some people are just more adaptable than others. 

However, managing your expectations and building a supportive community will reduce your feelings of overwhelm when you arrive. 

Here are some practical tips that you can start implementing now. 

Find other expats

Join local expat facebook groups, show up at the goofy International Friends dinners and just get out there.

Keep a journal

This can be a daily diary, goal-setting or just getting all of your mean-girl thoughts out of your head.

I don’t mean spend hours a day on this task (unless you can, then do it!).

Simply jotting down your struggles from the day or musing on what you’re grateful for can help.

Engage with the locals 

Get amongst the quirky festivals, strange parades and odd celebrations of your new home.

You didn’t move here to lead the very same life you had at home!

The sooner you’re able to engage with and better understand how the locals view the world, the sooner you’ll start to feel at home.

Do what you loved at home here as well

Loved dancing at home? Keep it up! Did yoga daily? Don’t stop now. Whatever you did routinely at home, do it in your new home. Sure, I want you to engage with the locals but that doesn’t mean giving up what makes you, you.

A Note Before You Go 

Expat overwhelm is real — and it is common among capable, thoughtful women.

If this resonates, nothing has gone wrong.
You are responding normally to sustained change.

With support, structure, and time, a new sense of stability does emerge.

You don’t have to rush it.

Download my FREE Expat Family Starter Kit to help you get started.

Have you ever felt Expat Overwhelm? Share your experiences in the comments below. 

Emergency Support 

Online Support Services

1. My International Therapy

Self-described as “by expats, for expats”, this is a fantastic place to find support if you’re struggling with Expat Overwhelm. With the option of online or on-site consultations in Berlin available, you are able to seek out a professional who best matches you and your unique needs. 

2. It’s Complicated Platform
With the specific aim of connecting expats with English-speaking therapists (60 languages in all if English isn’t your Mother tongue), this online allows you to browse professionals with a wealth of experience, specialities and modalities to find your perfect match. Online and in-person session available, with practicing professionals based across Europe and the US. 

3. Mindler
An app-based platform offering online therapy sessions in many languages with professionals boasting experience in offering various forms of support, specifically for stress management, anxiety and depression.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

What is Expat Overwhelm?

Expat Overwhelm is a term used to incorporate feelings of anxiety, stress, fatigue and other symptoms that can be experienced after relocating to a new country. It may be triggered by challenges experienced due to language barrier, culture shock and feelings of homesickness. 

What are the symptoms of Expat Overwhelm?

Common symptoms of Expat Overwhelm are anxiety, forgetfulness, difficulty concentrating, frustration, fatigue, headaches and tummy troubles. 

How can I create a social network in my new home abroad? 

Joining expat groups in your new city, participating in community events and connecting with neighbours or other local people can quickly build your social network and reduce your feelings of loneliness and isolation. Facebook is a great resource for connecting with other expats in your city. 

I’m an expat and I’m overwhelmed. What should I do?

• Create a daily routine to give yourself predictability and stability. 
• Journal.
• Stay socially engaged. 
• Seek professional support if you can’t cope alone any longer. There’s strength in getting help. 

How long will it take before my new home feels like home?

This depends on so many personal factors that I can’t possibly predict your experience. Depending on your age, lifestyle, life experiences, expectations and barriers experienced in your new home, adjusting could take as little as a few months and as much as several years. Everyone’s different and every experience is unique. 

Can Expat Overwhelm effect my family, too?

Unfortunately, yes, it can effect everyone of every age. Your family members may themselves begin to feel overwhelmed or be negatively impacted by your feelings of overwhelm. It’s important to look after yourself and each other through this major life transition. 

Got more questions? Share them in the comments. 

Sources

https://expathealth.org/healthcare/expats-have-greater-risk-of-mental-health-issue

https://www.axaglobalhealthcare.com/en/wellbeing/emotional/top-expat-concerns

The post Expat Overwhelm: How to Overcome It appeared first on Relocation and Travel Coaching.

Featured in every post, their little lives digitally documented online, often before they’re old enough to say “yes” or “no”.

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On the other hand, you might have noticed a lack of photos of my kids in my content. Sure, I share stories from our lives, but you’ll never see them. 

My work, both as a coach here and as a Social Worker in the Child Protection and Family Support Space, is centred around supporting women in their roles as Mothers.

Having worked with families experiencing violence, addiction, mental health issues, homelessness and sexual abuse, I’ve learnt one thing:

ALL Mother’s are doing their best.  

And this is why the question of digital safety for kids is so important to me and my business. 

If you’re abroad with your kids, all you want to do is share the experiences they’re having. Those beaming smiles and the stunning backgrounds are worth sharing! And I understand why you’d want to.

I know what it feels like to want to shout your joy from the rooftops—to say, ‘Look! We’re doing it! We’re thriving abroad!’ That instinct is beautiful. I feel it too.

In this post, I want to share my reasons for not sharing my children’s images online and challenge you to start posting pictures of your children with clarity and intention. 

Family Is at the Heart of My Work

Breathe in Between grew out of my desire to support other women struggling to find their groove as Mothers abroad or as families on the go, wherever they are in the world. 

As a new parent living abroad, I struggled without my social network. It was awful. 

My mission is to support you to be the strongest, best parent you can be in your new home or on the road. 

But it’s not just from my personal experience that I draw my perspective in creating support programs for you. The foundation of Breathe in Between comes from my professional training and experience. 

My content combines my raw personal experiences with my professional tools like assessment frameworks, trauma-informed strategies, and an understanding of children’s rights—including their right to privacy.

I’m not just a Mom-blogger.

I am a professional and a Mother.

If you want to learn more about my motherhood journey abroad, check out this post.

Why I Don’t Share Photos of My Kids Online

When I was pregnant with my first (it feels like ancient history now!), I knew that this baby wouldn’t be shared online.

Why? I considered my job to protect their privacy as a protection of their future.

This decision goes beyond the (very real) risk of predators and straight to the question of a child’s rights, specifically a child’s right to privacy. 

Children have the right to choose.

They have the right to decide how their image and voice are used. Children have the right to say “no”, too. 

It is a child’s right to decide how their story is shared. Not ours. 

A relative once asked me if I was proud of my kids because I never post about them online. 

I was stunned! Of course I’m proud of them. I adore my children. 

There was a moment, spending a quiet afternoon in the Albanian Alps, when my children were swinging in a hand-crafted swing in the yard of our Air B&B with the soaring mountains behind them, when I instinctively reached for my phone.

I snapped the photo but I paused before sharing it online.

Not because it wasn’t beautiful—it was. But because I want those memories to be theirs, not part of my brand.

So, although my business is built on my experiences of being a parent abroad and on-the-road with my kids, it doesn’t mean they have to be shown in my business content. 

While this approach doesn’t fit for everyone, it’s what’s right for us. As I always say to my kids “Every family has different rules” and I respect parents’ right to choose.

My Content Celebrates Family but Without Faces

While you won’t see photos of my children in my content, the stories that I share from my parenting journey still revolve around them. 

My content is grounded in real experience and professional guidance. Whether you’re navigating bedtime routines in a new country or facing emotional overwhelm, I’ve been there—and I’m here to help.

Do I think photos of my kids would make my posts more relatable? Maybe. But they wouldn’t make them more valuable.

Instead of showing off my “why,” I want to help you reconnect with yours.

Why did you search for parenting support abroad? What are you hoping to feel more confident about today?

My two little “whys” are what fuel this work. But helping you feel more empowered in yours—that’s the reason I’m here.

What This Means for You and Your Family’s Story

So, why am I sharing this? Why, if it’s “no big deal”, am I dedicating a whole post to the topic? 

Because I know it’s unusual to see someone online, especially in the family space, without photos of their family. 

I also know that these questions are becoming more and more common for families as they navigate the new world of parenting online. 

You may still decide to post. That’s your right. But let it be an intentional act, not a default one.

For me, the answer has always been clear. My business, Breathe in Between, is mine. The choice to share my story was mine. But their story? That’s theirs. And protecting it—that’s my job.

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Sometimes sharing can connect us, celebrate growth, or help others feel less alone.

But when we pause, we give ourselves the chance to make that choice consciously.

Last Comments About Why I Don’t Post my Kids Online

This isn’t about fear. It’s about long-term respect. It’s about teaching my children that their story—and their boundaries—matter.

I’d love to hear how your family navigates this. Do you share images online? Have your thoughts changed over time?

Get your FREE Expat Start Kit to help you start your new life of your dreams from day one.

The post Why you won’t see my kids online (Hint: Privacy Matters) appeared first on Relocation and Travel Coaching.

My first month in Germany remains as vivid as ever in my mind. 

Our excitement of arriving in our new city with my little daughter. Delicious smells of the bakeries everywhere. The newness of everything. 

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But that excitement didn’t last long. Within days of our arrival, my excitement turned into anxiety and stress. 

I didn’t realise just how much I’d have to juggle and learn in my first weeks in Germany.

Looking back, I can see just how unprepared I was. 

Not for the move itself, but for the weight of it. 

I wish someone had warned me about the complexity and specificity of German bureaucracy, the silence of Sundays and the way motherhood abroad can quietly unravel your own sense of identity.

I didn’t know. 

This post is for the version of me who didn’t know what she was walking into — and for you, if you’re about to begin (or are already deep in) your first month in Germany.

1. Bureaucracy won’t beat you, but it will try 

Germany has a reputation and it isn’t for it’s flexible. 

Of course, there’d be bureaucracy, I thought. I knew what visa I needed and how to apply. My husband had already arranged our Health Insurance. What else could there be? 

I had no idea how many steps it really takes to settle into life here as a new arrival. 

Registering my address? No clue.
Taxes and social contributions? Absolutely not.

Every step of these processes filled me with dread because I couldn’t speak German, I didn’t understand the system and I was constantly afraid of what would happen if I messed something up. 

I still remember my first appointment at the Bürgerbüro, clutching a folder of documents, a bag of toys for my daughter, and my husband beside me. I understood nothing. Smiling, I signed where I was told, and walked out holding it together until I could breathe again.

What I wish I’d known:
This isn’t a personal failure. The system is complex, even for Germans.

👉 My tip: Prioritise bureaucracy early, ideally before you arrive.

• Book your address registration appointment as soon as possible.
  
• Arrange health insurance in advance.
  
• Bring original documents (and translations where you can) to every appointment.
  

Understanding how much hinges on timing and paperwork would have saved me days of stress and many “What have we done?” moments.

Read my top tips for conquering German bureaucracy.

2. Expect Emotions that don’t make sense 

Some days I felt joyful and hopeful, excited to build a new life for my family. Other days, I cried in the shower so no one would hear me falling apart.

Not because something terrible had happened, but because I felt invisible. Incapable. Unanchored. Floating in the abyss of my new life.

I couldn’t manage the setup of our life independently. I didn’t know where I fit anymore. And worst of all was that the version of myself I recognised, capable, easy-going, confident, felt suddenly out of reach.

Wanting to hold it together for my kids, I fell apart inside and for a time, lost myself completely (but I rebuilt myself, better than ever!).

This emotional whiplash is far more common than most mothers realise. Relocation strips away familiarity, competence, and identity all at once, and does it while you’re still expected to function.

👉 My tip: Find one supportive connection as early as possible.

Read more about my personal journey as a Mother abroad. 

3. Your Kids Might Adjust Faster Than You

My daughter started speaking German My daughter started speaking German before I did.

She absorbed the language effortlessly. She made friends without hesitation. Watching her was heartwarming and, if I’m honest, heartbreaking too.

For the first time, I felt like the outsider in my own family. Was I failing? 

The pain of not understanding my child and the frustration of not quickly building friendships left me feeling lost. I no longer knew what my role as a Mother was. 

I questioned myself constantly. Was I failing her? Wasn’t I supposed to be the one guiding her through this transition?

What I didn’t understand then was this: children adapt through immersion. Adults adapt through meaning. And those timelines don’t match.

👉 My tip:Let your kids be the leaders of your family sometimes. Their openness to new routines, the language, and friends just might be a source of inspiration and motivation for you. And if you start feeling left behind? Remind yourself who made those little people so darn brave!

If you’re struggling with the challenges of bi-lingual kids, here are my solutions.

4. Sundays Will Confuse You

UnIf you come from a place where shops are always open, Germany’s Sundays can feel confronting.

In Melbourne, something was always open.
In Germany? Almost nothing is.

Shops close. Noise stops. Rest is expected.

At first, it frustrated me. Now? I value it deeply.

👉 My tip: Plan ahead — and let Sundays be slower. It’s not worse. It’s different.

5. You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

This was my biggest lesson.

I believed I had to figure everything out myself. That needing help meant I wasn’t coping well enough.

Once I started talking to other women, I realised how universal this experience is and how much lighter it feels when shared.

👉 My tip: Support doesn’t replace your competence. It protects it.You deserve support.

Read more about the importance of building your expat support network. 

Your First Month in Germany 

That first month in Germany? It was rough. But I wouldn’t change it. 

If you’re in it right now, exhausted, questioning yourself, wondering what you’ve done, know this: it does get easier.

You will find yourself again.

And most importantly, you don’t have to do it alone.

Get your FREE expat Starter Kit here, filled with tips to get you through your first month abroad without the stress I felt.

BONUS: Small things that surprised me in my first month in Germany

• Paper is still king (yes, even fax machines)
  
• Appointments take far longer than expected
  
• German directness isn’t rudeness
  
• Recycling rules are serious business
  
• Playgrounds rarely have toilets or water fountains
  
• Pfand will confuse you at least once
  

None of these derail you, but knowing them early helps.

The post My First Month in Germany: 5 Lessons I Learnt the Hard Way appeared first on Relocation and Travel Coaching.

You’ve made it. Your family packed up, survived the flights, and arrived safely in Germany.

Jetlag is still lingering. Your to-do list is growing by the minute.

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And then it hits you.

You’re in a new country, surrounded by unfamiliar faces, and you realise how much you need support. Not just practical help but people.

People who understand the emotional weight of starting over. Someone to help you make sense of systems that don’t work the way you’re used to. A friend who can sit with your homesickness without trying to fix it.

As a relocation coach and an expat mother living in Germany, I remember how alone I felt in those early months. I had never felt lonelier in my life.

Germany is a wonderful place to raise a family, but it’s also widely considered one of the hardest countries for expats to settle into. When you’re parenting at the same time, the feeling of struggle increases rapidly.

This post explores why support networks matter so much in Germany, how to start building one, and where to look, even if your German isn’t strong yet.

These are the tips I wish I’d had when I first arrived.

1. Why a Support Network Matters Even More in Germany

Moving abroad with children is one of the most exciting decisions a family can make. It is also emotionally demanding.

You’re navigating:

• unfamiliar bureaucracy
  
• a new language
  
• different social norms
  
• and the responsibility of keeping your children emotionally steady while you’re still finding your feet
  

In Germany, this can feel particularly intense.

Research consistently shows that Germany ranks low in terms of expat ease of settling in, particularly in regards to social integration and feeling welcome. Many expats report strong systems, but weak social connections.

Without a support network, even small challenges can feel overwhelming.

When your child is sick, who helps you understand the advice from the Kinderarzt? Who herpes you decode the dense language in the letters from school? And when you feel that familiar pang of homesickness, who sits with you?

Loneliness isn’t just uncomfortable; it has real consequences. Research links ongoing loneliness to increased stress, poorer mental health, and physical health impacts. The strongest protective factor? The quality of our social relationships.

You were never meant to do this alone.

2. Start Connecting Before You Arrive 

This often surprises families, but some of the most stabilising connections can begin before you’ve even landed.

Before we moved to Dresden, I started quietly reaching out to other expat parents online. I didn’t make instant friends, but I gathered familiarity. Names. Faces. A sense of what mattered locally.

Helpful places to start:

• Facebook groups for international families in your future city
  
• Groups like:
  
  • “International Families [City]”
    
  • “English-Speaking Parents in Germany”
    
  • “[Your nationality] in Germany”
    
• Meetup.com for family-friendly or interest-based groups
  

You can also ask your existing network for introductions. Many expat parents are happy to meet “a friend of a friend” because they remember exactly what those first months felt like.You don’t need to be outgoing. You just need to be open.

3. Where to Find Your Community in Germany (Without Needing German!) 

The language barrier can be overwhelming when you first arrive, but it doesn’t have to stop you from building your expat network. 

Some of the most accessible places to connect include:

• Local expat or international parent groups
  
• International schools and bilingual kindergartens
  
• Libraries, which often host children’s activities and events
  
• Sports clubs or Vereine: incredibly common in Germany and often more welcoming than expected.
  

When I first arrived, playgrounds felt terrifying. I worried constantly about saying the wrong thing or nothing at all.

So I started small. A smile, sometimes a wave or a simple “hello”.

Every connection counts.

4. Making Friends as an Adult (When You’re Already Tired)

Let’s be honest: making friends as an adult is hard. Doing it in another language? It can feel impossible.

I remember visiting a different playground every day with my daughter, my heart racing every time another parent looked my way.

“What if they don’t speak English?” I worried.

Slowly, watching my child connect without hesitation helped me loosen my grip on perfection. I followed her lead.

Simple conversation starters work:

• “We’ve just moved here — do you come here often?”
  
• “Our kids seem about the same age.”
  
• “Do you know any good places to go with children around here?”
  

These conversations don’t need to be deep. They just need to be human.

5. Practical Support: Childcare, Help, and Everyday Relief

Support networks aren’t only emotional. They can be practical too.

In Germany, helpful resources include:

• Expat Facebook groups for babysitter and cleaner recommendations
  
• Betreut.de for childcare and household help
  
• Local platforms like Kietzee (city-specific)
  

Even a few hours of help a week can dramatically change how settled you feel.

Support sometimes buys you breathing room.

6. Online Support for the Tougher Times 

Some days, in-person connection feels like too much.

Online support can bridge the gap:

• Parenting-abroad Facebook groups
  
• Online therapy platforms (international or Germany-based)
  
• Group coaching or workshops focused on expat adjustment
  

These spaces can offer understanding without explanation, especially when language or energy is limited.

7. What If I Don’t Live In a City? 

If you’re not in Berlin, Munich, or Hamburg, this part matters.

Dresden, for example, has one of the lowest proportions of residents with an international background in Germany. That doesn’t make connection impossible, but it does mean you need to be more intentional.

Ideas that help:

• Starting a small WhatsApp group at school or Kita
  
• Joining groups in nearby cities
  
• Becoming the initiator instead of waiting to be invited
  

Sometimes, you don’t just find community, you create it.

You Deserve a Village — Even Here

Settling into life in Germany isn’t just about paperwork.

It’s about belonging.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure where to begin, you’re not failing. You’re human.

Get your FREE Expat Starter Kit to give you the best chance to thrive in your new life abroad.

You don’t have to do this alone.

Let’s build the dream life abroad where you don’t just survive. You thrive.

Sources 

* Domènech-Abella and colleagues (2023) explored over 100 studies and found that loneliness is most closely linked to the quality of our relationships, living situation, and mental and physical health—not just age or gender. Read the Domènech-Abella and colleagues literature review. 

** InterNations (2023) conducted a survey of expats worldwide and concluded that expats in Germany are among the least happy in the world. Read the 2023 InterNations expat happiness report for Germany.

*** Data from 2023 shows that close to 30% of people residing in Germany have migration background (full report here), while data from 2024 indicates that around 12% of Dresden residents have migration background (full report here). 

The post Why You Need an Expat Support Network in Germany (and how to build one!) appeared first on Relocation and Travel Coaching.

At the airport, with my passport in hand, tears in my eyes and my baby in my arms, I wondered, “Have we made the right decision?”. I suddenly questioned if what we’d decided to do was, in fact, the right decision.

My confidence was already wavering. 

Was I really going to drag my daughter to the other side of the world? Was this what I really wanted?

Today, after more than five years living in Germany, I can say that the decision was right, even if at the beginning it felt anything but. 

Like most families preparing for an international move, we planned carefully.
The packing. The visas. The logistics. The research into work, childcare, and life abroad.

What I didn’t fully plan for was how deeply the move would change me.

Not just as a professional. Not just as a partner. But as a mother finding her footing in unfamiliar ground.

This is my story about moving to Germany but reallyit could be your story. It’s a story about what happens inside a family when everything familiar disappears at once.

If you’re planning a move, or already navigating life abroad with children, I hope this helps you see what’s normal, what’s hard, and why none of it means that you’ve failed. 

Why We Chose Germany (and the Weight of Wanting to “Get It Right”) 

TGermany wasn’t a random choice for us.
It was carefully considered — professionally, practically, and financially.

We believed it would offer opportunity, stability, and a rich cultural experience for our family. And in many ways, it has.

But looking back, I can see how much pressure I placed on myself to make it work.

Not just the country.
Not just the logistics.
But motherhood itself — as if choosing to move meant I had to prove it was worth the disruption.

That quiet pressure followed me long after we arrived.

The Reality of Expat Motherhood: When Everything Familiar Is Gone

I expected the move to be hard. Like, really hard. If nothing else, I accepted that learning a new language would be a tough starting point. 

What I didn’t expect was how disorienting it would feel to have all of my markers of independence disappear overnight. 

Those early days were lonely. Caring for my daughter while my husband worked was lonely. Every day needed me to be brave, even the unremarkable ones. 

I missed my friends. I grieved the ease of the familiar. And underneath it all was guilt. I felt guilty for choosing this life for us and couldn’t stop asking the question “Did I make the right decision?”

I began questioning myself constantly.

Had we made a mistake?

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Had I made a mistake thinking I could parent abroad when I was still learning how to parent at all?

On top of these confidence crushing questions came the logistics of day-to-day life: finding an apartment, navigating systems I didn’t understand, attending appointments in a language I couldn’t yet speak, all the while wondering “when will this get easier?”. 

I didn’t recognise myself anymore.

I felt like I had transformed from being a capable, confident woman to a child needing support to achieve even the most basic tasks. 

This wasn’t the expat motherhood journey I thought I’d signed up for.

My identity felt shaken, and learning how to be a mother at the same time only intensified that feeling.

If you’re reading this and nodding your head, just know—you’re not alone. I see you. I’ve been there.

Identity Loss After Moving Abroad (Why This Is Normal)

If you recognise yourself in this experience, then I want you to know that:

You’re not alone and there is nothing wrong with you.

This is what ongoing change does to us (yes, even you). 

So much of adult confidence is built on familiarity:

• knowing how systems work
  
• understanding social cues
  
• trusting your instincts
  

When those disappear, self-doubt often follows. Transition is hard, but when everything you’ve ever known has changed, it’s even harder. 

Add motherhood into the mix, and the emotional load multiplies.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and looking for extra support, read my Guide to Overcoming Expat Overwhelm.

When Your Child Adapts Faster Than You

One of the hardest moments for me came when my daughter started daycare.

She cried at drop-off and tears flowed freely from my eyes as I left the daycare centre.

I felt like a failure and I couldn’t even explain why. 

But then, just like that, she adjusted.

She learned the language faster than I did (it’s so easy for kids!). Friends were made and her confidence grew and grew. 

Watching her taught me something that I’d always known in theory, but hadn’t yet experienced:

Learning is not a failure. It is the work.

Finding Stability Abroad: Not by Fixing, but by Understanding

What helped me wasn’t pushing harder or trying to “be more resilient.”

It was understanding what prolonged change actually does to a nervous system — especially when you’re responsible for supporting children through it too.

Slowly, I stopped interpreting discomfort as a sign I’d made the wrong decision.

I started seeing it as information.

That shift changed everything.

Who I Am Now (and What This Season Gave Me)

I still live abroad and yes, it’s still hard sometimes. 

I’m not sure if that feeling will ever go away but it no longer makes me question my entire identity. 

Instead, I lean into the confidence I’ve built over the last five years and trust myself to keep learning. To keep going. Because that’s what has got me this far. 

This season taught me:

• patience
  
• humility
  
• emotional flexibility
  
• and a deeper understanding of what families actually need during transition

Lessons from my Expat Motherhood Journey

Here are the top 5 things I’ve learned from being a Mother abroad that might help you through this challenging journey.  

1. You don’t have to do it alone — It takes a village to raise a child. You just have to find yours now. Meeting other Mums, even the German ones, is empowering. This, above all, is the lesson I hope you can take from my writing today.
   
2. Knowledge is power — The bureaucracy might feel overwhelming right now, but with the right support, you will be able to do it all. The first time I could attend an appointment alone and got it right was the day I knew I’d made it.
   
3. Motherhood can expand, not shrink, abroad — It’s a blessing and not a shame to grow with your children. You don’t have to have it all figured out yet. There’s a unique bond that comes with discovering life with your children, not simply showing it to them.
   
4. We all feel lost sometimes — And it’s ok! That’s where powerful change happens. But don’t let yourself stay in that dark place for too long – lost is best visited and quickly left behind. Whenever I feel like that, I try to remember that sinking in the swamp of confusion won’t change my situation but being curious about it will.
   
5. The life you want abroad won’t build itself — But you can build it, one intentional step after the next. No matter how small that first step is, it’s a step in the right direction. This is your life, so make it one to be proud of!

And always remember that it takes time. You need time to adjust, learn and to start building the life of your dreams. 

If You’re Navigating an International Move With Children

If you’re in the middle of an international move, or preparing for one, you don’t have to rely on instinct alone.

I’ve created a free Expat Starter Kit to help families understand the emotional, practical, and relational shifts that come with relocation. Especially in the early months.

Download the Free Family Relocation Guide to Germany.

You’re not behind.

You’re not doing it wrong.

You’re in transition. 

The post My Chaotic Expat Motherhood Journey: From Lost to Thriving appeared first on Relocation and Travel Coaching.

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I

n my last post about qualification recognition in Germany, I outlined the difference between regulated and unregulated professions and shared my journey (so far!). 

In this post, I‘m pleased to share my updates about my own journey on this process and the next steps I need to take.

If you’re battling the bureaucracy of professional registration, I hope this post will motivate you to just get it done. 

It is an overwhelming task when you’re just beginning the process, but you’ve got this. Or at least let you enjoy some schadenfreude at my expense.

RECAP of my professional recognition journey so far 

In case you haven’t read the first post in this series, here’s a quick recap of my experience with the process of qualification recognition so far. 

If you’re serious about going through this process yourself, go back and read the first post. I share valuable resources and support services that you can use free of charge!

UPDATE on my professional recognition journey so far

On 30th August, I received an unexpected letter in the mail. 

It was a heavy packet from the Landesdirektion Sachsen, the authority responsible for overseeing applications for qualification recognition in Saxony. 

At first, I thought it was simply the return of my certified documents (my submission had weighed 1kg, after all!). 

I knew it hadn’t yet been three months. It’s been a long time since I learned to assume German bureaucracy will never be completed sooner than the reported timeframe. 

Immediately, my inner mean-girl said that the return of documents faster than expected was a clear sign that my application was being rejected. 

All that time and money for nothing. 

Memories of being advised that my combination of degrees may not be accepted came flooding back. 

Social Workers here typically hold a Bachelor’s and Masters’s Degree in Social Work. I hold a Bachelor of Arts with major areas of study in Sociology and Politics and a Master’s Degree in Social Work. Same same but different, right? Maybe? Please?

After slowly opening the packet and scanning the front page of the documents, the word Zwischenbescheid immediately stood out. 

“Yes!” I said to no one (I was home alone). “I got my Zwischenbescheid!” 

WHAT’S “ZWISCHENBESCHEID”? 

Zwischenbescheid translates to an interim decision. 

Simply put, a Zwischenbescheid confirms that my qualifications have been formally recognised as equal to those of local students. 

However, it’s interim because further training or learning is required before full registration is possible. 

Only after these additional steps have been completed can someone be fully registered. 

The term for this in Social Work is Staatlich Annerkant. Being Staatlich Annerkant means that I’m fully recognised and registered by the State and I can, officially, call myself a Social Worker. 

Confused? Yeah. That’s German bureaucracy. 

So, even though I’ve received the Zwischenbescheid, I still need to fill a knowledge gap, as identified by the professional assessor. 

What’s my knowledge gap? 

German law.

That’s right. 

My Australian qualifications do not include any modules about German law. 

Big surprise, right? 

Most regulated professions in Germany require students to learn the relevant laws in their profession. Social Work is no different. 

However, I consider myself lucky that the professional assessor has deemed my Bachelor of Arts and my Masters of Social Work together to be equal to Social Work training in Germany. 

It’s common for Social Workers (and professionals from many fields) to need to undertake significant portions of their training before they can be recognised here. My assessed gap in knowledge is small by comparison! 

Identified gaps in your knowledge do not reflect your capacity to competently undertake your work. It’s simply highlighting that there are required aspects to practice in Germany that were not provided in your home country’s education. 

Why? Probably because they’re not required in your home country. 

For example, I never needed to understand, interact with or apply principles of German law in my practice in Australia. 

However, I have a good grounding in how Australian laws interact with Social Work practice, so I’m confident that I’ll be able to get through this next stage. 

And you can too!

So what are the next steps for my registration? 

Before my qualifications can be fully recognised and I can be registered as a Social Worker in Saxony, I need to prove to the registering body that I do know the relevant laws. 

To do this, I’ve been given the choice of two options:

1. Undertake a period of supervised practice, which may include completing specified study concurrently.

OR

2. Complete a law exam at one of the Social Work schools in Saxony. 

After I’ve completed one of the two options, I will finally be fully recognised in Saxony as a Social Worker and be eligible for registration. 

Naturally, I have a lot of questions about these two options. 

• Where can I find supervised practice? 
  
• How long is the supervised practice for?
   
• Can I just use my job as a supervised practice?
  
• How long is the module of study?
   
• When is the module of study available?
  
• Is the exam written or oral? 
  
• Is it likely that I can just study up and pass the exam? 

Underlying my questions are two key concerns: 

1. Time
2. Money

As an already working Mum, I have significant constraints on my time, money and energy. 

How much have I already spent on the process? 

The process of having my qualifications recognised and becoming a registered social worker in Saxony has already set me back 3,028.18€.  

For comparison, according to Gehalt.de, the median monthly income for a registered social worker in Saxony is 3,922€.  

The key motivator to get through the process of qualification recognition has been the knowledge that once received, the title of being staatlich anerkannt increases the breadth of job opportunities that I can apply for. 

It also makes me a more competitive applicant from the beginning. 

But, even if that’s all true, it’ll take me a minimum of one month in my new full-time role to recoup the expenses already incurred. 

How long does it take?

The official timeline provided by the relevant authorities is six-twelve months. 

However. 

This estimate is based on the rules of bureaucracy and how fast they must process complete applications. 

If you need to provide any additional documents, including translations, certified copies or additional supplementary documentation, the processing time has not yet started. 

It also doesn’t include your time. 

I’ve spent innumerable hours collecting paperwork.

Chasing up documents and supplementary evidence from back home. It can take up to two weeks to have documents translated, sometimes longer depending on the length and complexity of the text. 

The process of obtaining certified copies is one more challenge. 

While the actual assessment of my qualifications took only two months (one month shy of the estimated three months), the overall process has taken well over a year.

From my initial consultation with IQ Netzwerk back in 2021, receiving this Zwischenbescheid has been a hard-fought battle. 

Do I need to have my qualifications recognised and be a registered Social Worker? 

In short, it’s complicated.

Because German bureaucracy. 

Initially, I had been advised that Social Workers can be employed in the non-regulated arena. For example, as support workers or in advisory roles. 

While this is true, the reality is less clear-cut.

After sending out countless job applications over six months, I received three interviews. I was thrilled! 

None of these roles explicitly required a registered Social Worker.

I assumed wrongly that if the job ad didn’t require a staatlich anerkannt Social Worker and the interview went well, I’d be given the role. 

Wrong.

Following every interview, I was advised that despite having the needed skills and experience, due to not being registered here, I was unable to be given the role.

I was initially convinced that this was just their way of letting me down gently. 

And it might have been. But there’s another reason, too. 

Bureaucracy. 

When community services and non-governmental agencies receive money from the State, the State influences who they hire to fulfil these funded roles. 

And you know what? 

The State prefers to have its money pay only registered Social Workers. 

And that’s the reason I’m chasing this goal of having my qualifications recognised and eventually being registered in Saxony.

There are more job opportunities for registered social workers. 

Unfortunately, that’s the bottom line. And that’s why I keep chipping away at this goal. 

Next Update:

My next update on this process will come once I’ve decided between the supervised placement and the exam. 

This week I’ll be consulting yet again with the IQ Netzwerk in the hope of gaining clarity about how to move forward with the process. 

Are you or have you been through the process of qualification recognition and registration in Germany? Let me know in the comments below. 

The post The Frustrating Truth: Professional Registration in Germany appeared first on Relocation and Travel Coaching.

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How do yours stack up? Will they be accepted? Do you need to complete further training? 

Despite Germany’s lack of qualified professionals, there is still unfortunately a stringent process for qualification recognition. 

In this post, I’ll explore the process of qualification recognition in Germany. You’ll even get a front row seat to my journey through this very process. 

DO I NEED MY QUALIFICATIONS RECOGNISED? 

If your profession is regulated, then absolutely. Yes, you will need your qualifications recognised to work in Germany. 

If not, you might be able to get by without going through any formal recognition procedure. However, there are circumstances when having your degree recognised by the local authorities can be advantageous in your job hunt.  

What are Regulated Professions? 

Firstly, what is a regulated profession? 

Any field of work that is overseen by a professional body and whose membership is limited to people holding particular expertise and education is a regulated profession. 

Think medicine, nursing and teaching. These are three professions that are tightly regulated in most parts of the world. 

In Germany, the list of regulated professions is looong.

Recognition and registration requirements vary between the states, so you’ll need to double- check any information with your local authorities. 

HOW DO I FIND OUT WHAT I NEED TO KNOW?! 

I’ve got you. 

Step back from the overwhelm and check this out:

There is a nationally accredited advisory service for all things qualification recognition. 

It’s free. 

They do the leg work and research before explaining your next steps toward professional recognition in Germany. 

And the best bit? Consults are available in a variety of languages. Bonus points if you can already manage such complicated matters in German, though. 

I consulted with them here in Dresden and my time with them saved me a LOT of unnecessary worry and confusion. Worry of where to find the information I needed. Confusion about understanding the systems in German. In short: EVERYTHING.  

After registering my interest online for a consultation, I nervously arrived at my appointment. My advisor was kind, supportive and had already done his homework.

He hit me with a thorough explanation of the recognition procedure in Saxony for Social Workers, including: 

• an overview of how the profession of Social Work is structured, 
  
• where Social Workers can be employed,
  
• Job boards for Social Workers who are not yet registered, and 
  
• Potential outcomes of my application for recognition and registration.
  

Check out their website to book a consultation in your city. 

How do I access this service?

You’ll need to complete a basic form outlining your education and professional experience. Some documents you will absolutely, no questions asked, need are:

• Any and all of the certificates you have: degrees, high school diplomas, evidence of additional training you’ve undertaken. 
• An updated CV (in English is fine!). 

In addition to consultations about gaining professional recognition in your state, this service also offers:

• Regular job ads in your city in your field.
• One-to-one mentoring by a professional in your field.
• Bridging courses to help you better understand and navigate the professional environment.
• Support to seek out and access financial assistance to meet the associated costs of the recognition procedure. 

The bridging course for Social Workers was a two-day exploration of how the profession in Saxony is structured, where Social Workers practice and the difference between the regulated and the unregulated jobs. 

Yes. Social Work is regulated buuuuut there’s some grey areas. Very confusing. Quite frustrating. 

This is why you need professional guidance on navigating this system. I would never have known about the grey areas if I’d not done the Bridging Course. 

The bridging course was also a fantastic networking opportunity, both professionally and personally. 

So, you want to be “staatlich anerkannt” in Germany? 

“Want” may be a loose term here. For me, it was more like “well if I have to do this, I guess I’ll get on with it!”. 

The path to full recognition and registration in your profession isn’t always a straight line.  

How long does it take? 

The exact time frame will depend on a few things, including: 

• Your profession
• Where you received your qualification (inside out outside of the EU)
• If you need to undertake additional study. 

So far, my application has been open for 8 months. Here’s my timeline so far:

Because my qualifications were received outside of the EU, my application must be reviewed by a professional assessor (this step may be skipped if you received your qualifications within the EU). 

Typically, these assessors are educators in your field of work, so they are intimately aware of the course structure and requirements for students who study locally.

The assessment of my application will take approximately three months. 

After that time I may receive what’s called a Zwischenbescheid. This notification confirms that my qualifications are equivalent to those received by local student but that I am missing some core components. 

It’s a kind of in between. Yes, my qualifications are equal but no, I can’y yet be registered to practice. 

*sigh*

Most likely, I’ll have to complete some modules of study around German Law and legal proceedings before receiving my full recognition and then registration.  

Many professions will require you to complete some further study before full recognition is granted. 

Some tips to help you speed up this application process:

• Get your qualifications translated as soon as possible. 
  
• Research where in your local area can provide certified copies (beglaubigt) of your documents. 
  
• Start requesting letters from previous employers, confirming your work experience. 

HOW MUCH DOES IT COST? 

This is a tricky question to answer and depends wholly on your individual circumstances. 

Potential costs for qualification recognition in Germany include:

• Certificate from Anabin. 
  
• Application costs for Staatliche Annerkennung.
  
• Translations costs.
  
• Costs for certified copies. 
  
• Postage, printing and copying of documents.
  
• Any fees for documents from your home country. 

My initial consultation with IQ Netzwerk and the eventual submission of my application for Staatliche Anerkennung was free. 

BUT here’s a glimpse of my expenses so far. 

Financial assistance is available to cover these costs. Check out the available grants and application processes here. 

Do I need to speak German for my Qualification to be recognised? 

I think you already know the answer to this one. Yes.

Most registered professions require a high level of interpersonal communication (think teachers, doctors and in my case, social workers). A minimum of B2 German is required to apply for qualification recognition and registration. 

However, in most cases, German language skills need to be at C1 level to function in your workplace. The advice is always: learn German.

So, get practising! 

In my case, I required evidence of B2 Niveu before my application would be accepted. This meant that I needed to complete the exam and have a shiny certificate to present with my application. 

It’s frustrating but the truth is that any certificate you hold can also be used as evidence of your language skills with all employers and bureaucrats (think the Ausländerbehörde). 

Learning German is difficult but it’s well worth your time and energy. 

Not only for your professional ambitions but for your everyday life here. Being able to communicate in German removes lots of barriers for you socially, too. 

How can I work before my qualification is recognised? 

Where there’s a will, there’s a way, my friend. 

Networking 

As always, networking is a game changer. 

Get to know as many people in your field as possible, as soon as possible. 

Some questions you might want their input on include: 

• How is your profession organised in Germany? 
  
• Who is the professional body responsible for your profession here? 
  
• Are there any networking events or conferences scheduled? 
  
• Review of your CV and assistance to make it fit the German standard format.
  
• Support learning the German vocabulary specific to your profession. 

Working in a similar field

Before you’re able to work in a specifically titled role, you may be able to find jobs that sit directly next to your dream job. 

For example, I can’t yet work as a Social Worker, but I’m currently employed as a Support Worker. Functionally, I complete the same day-to-day tasks.

The bonus? I can learn as much as possible without the pressure of having to fulfil the high job title.   

By taking on jobs in the field, you’ll get a head start in learning how the profession functions here and the professional language. Not to mention the contacts you’ll make!   

Then, when you’re finally recognised and registered, you’ll already have work experience in Germany and a growing network of professionals to support you. 

Volunteering

I know. You need money! 

In Germany, there plenty of opportunities to gain experience as a volunteer. Many of these internship opportunities receive a small stipend too. 

Like working in a neighbouring job, these opportunities allow you to refine your professional skills and language in German, while building a professional network. 

Many of these opportunities are limited to 3 or 6 months with part-time working hours.

Agentur für Arbeit

Depending on your personal situation, you may be eligible to receive training or financial support from the Agentur für Arbeit. 

Registered job seekers are often eligible to receive funded training, including language courses. 

They also have an extensive job board and, in some cases, offer personalised career counselling and support in your job search.  

Have a read of their site to see if you’re eligible. 

UNREGULATED PROFESSIONS 

If your profession isn’t on the long list above, you might never need to show that your qualifications are equal to those here. 

Jobs may be offered to you on the strength of your professional experience. 

Here are a few tips for you to make your journey to find a job as smooth as possible: 

• Have originals of all certifications with you: degrees, diplomas, and additional training. 
  
• Get your documents translated ASAP. 
  
• Compare your qualifications with the local courses through ANABIN. 

Even if you don’t need to demonstrate equivalence of your qualifications, it can be a useful way for potential employers to understand exactly what you studied. 

Education in Germany is very particular. Anything you can do to make it easier for your employer to see how outstanding you are, you should do. 

Include translated copies of your documents and information from ANABIN with your job applications. 

It saves you a lot of explaining and researching and it assures them that your training is legit. 

Finally, seek letters from previous workplaces outlining your work experience. These should demonstrate:

• Your job title, 
  
• how long you were employed, 
  
• the tasks you undertook,
  
• any additional training you did. 

These letters are a big deal in Germany. Having them ahead of time will save a lot of stress and frustration later on. 

What is ANABIN?

I’ve mentioned it a few times already, so here comes clarity. 

ANABIN is an online education database. It’s purpose? To directly compare foreign qualifications with German qualifications. 

This is how particular the German education system is. 

Through this database, you can directly compare your educational institution with the German system and how your qualification compares. 

For example, I studied at an Australian University. Anabin has identified it as being equal to somewhere between a German Hochschule and a German University. 

Confusing? Yep. That’s why we need this resource! 

There is the option to purchase certificates from this database but I don’t recommend you do this until after you’ve consulted with the IQ Netzwerk. You might not need it.

Save your money for the more important services: translation and certified copies. 

Good luck!

I wish you the best of luck with your quest to find work here in Germany. 

The system of qualification recognition and registration can be overwhelming. When you feel like that, just take a break from it and come back to it next week. 

Remember: networking is key. Seek contacts. Consult widely. You’ve got this!

Get your FREE Expat Start Kit! It’s filled with tips and tools for you to thrive in the first 90 Days in your new home.

Have you already had your qualifications recognised? Share your experiences in the comments below. 

The post How To Get Your Qualifications Recognised In Germany appeared first on Relocation and Travel Coaching.

At first I thought it was a language barrier and I told myself “Once my language improves it’ll be better”. Then, after reaching the high-intermediate level of German still didn’t help, I thought it was a clash of cultures.

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Slowly I started adopting more of the local ways of behaving. But still, I feel like I can’t break into the local community. 

The words “Deport. Deport. Deport.” have recently appeared on signs around the city. It’s really gotten under my skin but I refuse to give in. As long as I feel like an outsider, I’ll definitely remain an outsider. 

So, if you too feel like an outsider, I want to offer you some of my favourite ways to relax, stay calm and make connections despite the challenges. Because you matter, no matter what you think right now. 

Why Connection Matters

You know it. I know it. We ALL know it. 

Connection matters. But why? Because we need it. 

We humans are surprisingly simple animals. Our bodies and our minds (which, yes, are definitely still part of our bodies!) need connection. Meaningful connections reduce our stress levels, increase our sense of calm and confidence. And you know what? That improves our overall health. 

Yep. Loneliness can lead to increased risks of a whole host of chronic health issues, including cardiovascular disease and Dimentia. 

Health aside, it just feels nice not to be alone. We’ll be leading long lives, so why not enjoy it? 

Sometimes a lack of connection can increase our feelings of homesickness.
Read my tips for overcoming homesickness here.

What do I mean by connection? 

Connection can be boiled down to a fairly easy definition:

Having people who will miss you when you’re not around.

It might be a casual acquaintance at the gym who notices you’re not at your regular training session. Or maybe your sister calls you non-stop when you’ve missed your usual zoom session. If you’re very lucky, it’s your life-long bestie who remembers every important date in your life. 

For me living abroad, it took some time to start building up this network of connections. At first, it was simply the lady at the local bakery who asked after my daughter when she wasn’t with me. That made me feel seen and valued, probably more than this kind woman could ever have known. 

Slowly I began making connections through work and through my daughter’s kindergarten.Am I besties with every person I come across? Of course not!

Take this one Mother I enjoy talking with. Our kids are of similar ages, she’s also not from here and she’s lovely. We don’t yet have a deep connection but the ritual of sharing polite exchanges as we drop off or pick up our kids is comforting. 

It isn’t easy. To show up, to be vulnerable, to take myself out of the centre of the story? Hui. It’s tough. It takes courage every single day and sometimes, I don’t want to be brave anymore. 

How Do I Make Connections? (and how you can too!)

1. Stop Thinking

I know. It sounds counterintuitive, doesn’t it? But sometimes overthinking is our problem. 

Get out of your own head. 

Did the other person look at you funny, or are projecting your own insecurities? Do you really sound stupid or are you just being over critical of yourself? 

Let me tell you about the lovely Mother I chat with. After about a week of our casual chats, I felt like she was being less than enthused by our conversations. Her responses were a little shorter than usual; her responses slower.

Of course, like a mature adult, I decided that she didn’t like and my continued insistence on speaking with her was actually just driving her up the wall.

She was, I’d realised, just too polite to ignore me (and she couldn’t avoid me!). 

But then (of course, there’s a but coming!) I had an intriguing thought. If I feel insecure and awkward about speaking in German, maybe she felt the same way?

And hold on a second. I really struggle to switch languages when my kids are around. Maybe she does too?

The very next week, she shared with me that her youngest had been keeping her up most nights as he adjusted to being in childcare. *Aha!*

My own thoughts and perception had created this situation which, well, wasn’t a situation at all.

Every interaction has the potential to go wrong. Thinking that it will go wrong, or that it’s going terribly or worst of all, avoiding interaction in the first place has a 100% chance of going wrong. 

Avoid self-sabotage. Let go of your plan about how you thought this might go. Breathe. You’ve got this!

2. It’s just a moment in time 

This isn’t supposed to be demotivating. Quite the opposite! Let this truth free you. 

If you can’t nail down step one and quit thinking, then move quickly into this step: this is just one of many interactions you’ll have today.

Just a moment in time.

Like that one time I tried to order bread from the bakery and the lady just couldn’t figure out what I wanted. I felt so humiliated and embarrassed. I couldn’t let it go! This terrible interaction haunted me for months (and still does).

On the odd chance that your interaction was a spectacular failure (which it wasn’t, by the way!) remind yourself this stone-cold truth: that isn’t the last time I’ll speak to them. 

It’s easier said than done, I know. But like any skill, it gets easier with practice. 

In the most dire of circumstances when you just really, REALLY can’t let it go, then quick – it’s straight onto my third tip. 

3. It’s not all about you

For me, this is the one I struggle with the most.

In my head, thinking about my interactions, of course it’s all about me. 

But it’s not. It’s about the both of us. Me and the person I’m interacting with. Making connections is a two-way street. 

The sooner you remind yourself of that, the sooner you’re free to simply be. 

Did that person act strange with you because you said that one thing that came out in the wrong tone and now they most definitely never want to speak to you again? 

Or more probably, like my new school-gate bestie, she’d just had a rough night with her kids and was exhausted. Because it’s not all about you.

Whatever you have going on in your life and in your head, stop for a moment and remember this: the other person has stuff going on too. If they seem different, why not ask them if they’re ok?

The best way to build a connection is to invest in it. Care for it. Be generous toward it. 

Look After Yourself 

And there you have it. My three top tips for when you’re feeling like an outsider.

Be gentle on yourself. Go slow. Be Kind.

When in doubt, just breathe. Everything will become clear again. 

Get your FREE Expat Starter Kit. It’s filled with tips and tools to help you thrive in your first 90 days abroad.

And why not connect with me here? Let me know in the comments how you’ve overcome feeling like an outsider. 

The post How To Make Connections When You feel like an Outsider appeared first on Relocation and Travel Coaching.

I spent my first months in Germany trawling through Reddit and Facebook groups to figure out the specifics about if I could drive with my Australian driver’s license and how to exchange it for a German one. 

The amount of conflicting advice was overwhelming and not to mention, the German bureaucracy was terrifying. 

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The good news: driving in Germany as a foreigner is allowed! Even on the Autobahn, but you have to jump through some bureaucratic hurdles first (but that’s just life in Germany, right?!) 

In this post I’ll break down what you need, where to get it and how to do it, step-by-step. 

This article is for you if you:

• Are a foreigner in Germany;
• Plan to drive here and
• Intend to stay here for more than 6 months. 

Please Note! I am discussing only regular driver’s licenses for passenger vehicles. For further information about other driver’s license classes, please head over to ADAC.

Some helpful vocab

Getting anything done in Germany is tough without the right words! Here a few useful pieces of vocabulary to get you started on your journey towards driving in Germany as a foreigner.

Can I drive in Germany as a foreigner? 

The short answer to this question is, yes. You can drive in Germany as a foreigner. 

But like nearly everything in Germany, there’s nuance to the seemingly simple question! 

The better answer is: yes, but . . . 

Driving in Germany AS A TOURIST (for less than 6 months)

Just want to have a holiday in Germany? Or maybe you’d like to transit through Germany on a European road trip adventure? 

No problem. You can drive in Germany with a driver’s license from your country of origin. 

BUT

It’s a little more complicated if you’re not from the EU.

If you’re a foreigner from a country outside of the EU (like me!) then you’ll also need either:

An International driver’s Permit

or a 

Translation of your driver’s license. 

You must carry your original license and one of these documents with you at all times when driving. 

Buuuut.

If you’re from one of the following countries, you are not required to carry a translation of your license. You lucky ducks!

Andorra

Hong Kong

Monaco

New Zealand

San Marino

Switzerland

Senegal

Remember: all of the restrictions on your driver’s license from your country of origin apply in Germany. 

A confession

I didn’t investigate this whole driving in Germany as a foreigner thing very well before I moved here and I drove without an international driver’s license OR a translation! 

Thank goodness I was never stopped by the police. I probably would have cried with the stress of it all. 

Don’t repeat my mistakes!

Before you travel, get your driver’s license translated. 

OR get yourself an International driver’s Permit. These can be easily obtained by your local authority. 

Just google “International driver’s Permit [your city]”. 

Generally, these applications can be completed online and will take up to two weeks to be delivered to your address.  

Staying in Germany for more than 6 months: Getting a German Driver’s License 

Now you need to step into the ring of German bureaucracy.  

You’ve probably already managed the Ausländerbehörde, so you’ve got this! 

If you want to continue driving in Germany as a foreigner, then you must apply for a German driver’s License. 

For some, this will be a simple exchange of your existing driver’s license for your new German one. For others, there will be additional steps to obtain your German driver’s license as a foreigner. 

Exchanging Your License: EU vs. Non-EU Drivers

EU Drivers 

Honestly. Everything about living in Germany as a foreigner is just easier if your country of origin is in the EU. 

IF YOU’RE ONE OF THE LUCKY ONES:

You can use your home driver’s license (as long as it’s valid) and exchange it for a German one when you’ve been living here for 6 months. 

Easy peasy! 

Non-EU Drivers 

So, for the rest of us, the license exchange is a little more complicated. 

Broadly speaking, there are two groups that the rest of us can be divided into:

1. Swap with additional requirements, or
2. No swap allowed – you will need to acquire a German driver’s License from scratch (skip ahead to the next section if this is you). 

Swap with additional requirements 

As a non-EU citizen, this option is the best. 

If your licensing country is considered to be similar enough to Germany, then you may only need to demonstrate one of two things for the authorities before they simply take your existing license and give you a shiny new German one. 

In my case, I needed to present the licensing authority with a document that stated:

1. When I was first licensed to drive, 
2. Any restrictions to my driver’s license and 
3. If any suspension had ever been placed on my driving. 

As an Australian with a driver’s license from Victoria, I could easily access this information through the VicRoads online portal. I didn’t even have it translated and it was accepted first time. 

Thank God Australian services are almost entirely online! 

Additional requirements for a swap to occur can include:

• Demonstrating how long you’ve been licensed to drive,
• An eyesight test, 
• Completion of a first aid course or
• The successful completion of the theory component of the driver’s license program.

What you will have to provide is wholly dependent on where your driver’s license was issued. Often, this is dependent on the State where you received your driver’s license, not only your country of origin.  

Can I exchange my driver’s license in Germany as a foreigner?

If your country is on this list, then YES! You can exchange your driver’s license in Germany as a foreigner.  

Albania

Andorra

Australia (additional requirements for some states)

Bosnia and Herzogovina

Canada (additional requirements for some regions)

French Polynesia

Gibraltar

Isle of Man

Israel

Japan

Jersey

Kosovo

Moldova

North Macedonia

Monaco

Namibia

New Caledonia

New Zealand

Republic of South Korea

San Marino 

Serbia

Singapore

South Africa

Switzerland

Taiwan

United Kingdom

United States of America (additional requirements for some states) 

Remember: You may still have to meet additional requirements! 

How to Exchange your Foreign Driver’s License: Step-by-Step

1. Book an appointment at your local Führerscheinbehörde. 
2. Ensure you have the necessary paperwork ready. This could include your Anmeldung, Aufenhaltstitel, and current driver’s license. Please read any information from the Behörde carefully. 
3. Attend your appointment and pay the fee.
4. Collect your shiny new license on the designated date, usually within 2 weeks. 

WAIT! I have to give up my license from home? 

Yes. 

The basis of this easy path to a German driver’s license is that you have to exchange your license from home for a German driver’s license. 

I know this can be confronting. In many places, like Australia, a driver’s License is a key form of identification. 

Fear not! In all my months of lurking in expat forums, I´ve seen a workaround suggested.

And it goes like this:

• Exchange your foreign driver’s license for a German driver´s license. 
• Report your driver’s license as lost or stolen to the issuing authority at home. 
• Receive a new one.

A Word of Caution 

Facebook forums, Reddit and Quora can be fantastic places to seek additional advice and support from people who have already exchanged their driver’s licenses. 

BUT. 

Know the following:

EVERY CASE IS UNIQUE. 

Your specific requirements for diving in Germany as a foreigner will depend on your situation, including: 

• How long you’ve been licensed to drive,
• Where your driver’s license was issued. This includes different states and territories within the same country, so pay special attention! and
• The professional processing your application. 

I found the conflicting and varying experiences shared in forums so confusing! 

My advice to you, no matter what bureaucratic process you’re undertaking in Germany, is this:

1. Read the information carefully. 
2. Have all documents ready before your appointment. 
3. Follow all instructions. 
4. When in doubt, ask the authority directly. 

I know contacting the authority directly sounds scary, especially if you’re still coming to grips with the German language, but it IS the best way to know what you need to do. Many authorities will respond to online requests for information if you’re uncomfortable using the phone. 

If you’ve got time, just visit the office and ask for help. There’s normally at least one staff member who will be brave enough to try and help you in English (and if you’re living in a bigger city, this is even less of a problem!) 

No swap allowed: Gaining a German License as a foreigner from scratch 

Unfortunately, if your country of origin is not listed above, then you are not eligible to exchange your driver’s license. You will have to obtain your German driver’s license from scratch. 

How long does it take to get a German driver’s License? 

Typically, it will take between 12 and 24 months for you to meet the requirements for a German driver’s License. 

Obtaining a driver’s license in Germany is akin to completing an apprenticeship. 

There are a series of mandated skills that you must learn and demonstrate before receiving your driver’s license. 

The cost of a German Driver’s License 

Getting a German Driver’s License will cost you between 2000€ and 3000€.  

This cost includes:

• Mandatory professional driving practice in prescribed conditions, 
• Theoretical education,
• Theory exam,
• practical exam, 
• Eyesight test and 
• First aid test. 

Unfortunately, there is no getting around these costs. 

You are required to complete your driving education with an accredited driving school. 

How do I get a German driver’s License? 

To get a German driver’s License, you will need to do the following:

1. Research driving schools in your area. 
2. Select one and enter into their driving program. 
3. Request permission from the Bürgeramt to attempt the theoretical exam. 
4. Complete the theory exam. 
5. Complete the practical exam. 
6. Collect your shiny new German driver’s license. 

Additional Tips and Resources 

• Head to ADAC for more information about if you’re eligible to exchange your foreign Driver’s License for a German Driver’s license and what your next steps should be if not. 
• Many driving schools offer tuition in English. They’ll be able to help you navigate the paperwork. 
• The Theoretical exam is conducted on a computer and is available in English (and 10 other languages to boot!) 
• ADAC offers a free App to support your preparation for the theory exam. 
• Unfortunately, the practical exam is only available in German. You must understand enough German to follow the examiner’s instructions. 
• YouTube is your friend! Check out video tutorials to prepare for both the theoretical and practical exams.

FULL DISCLOSURE

I haven’t been through this process. I’ve done my best to ensure this information is accurate and up-to-date but I can’t offer you any personal insights. 

If this applies to you, please seek out further assistance from other expats. 

Good luck and happy driving 

Alrighty. Now that I’ve saved you hours of trawling through Facebook groups and forums, getting yourself all confused, it’s time to get driving in Germany as a foreigner!

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How do you find driving in Germany as a foreigner? Have you exchanged your license? Share your experiences below! 

The post What you need to know about Driving in Germany appeared first on Relocation and Travel Coaching.