You’re organised.

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Used to managing competing demands.
Often you’re the family planner, too.

The one who keeps everything moving, no matter what.

You’ve handled pressure, deadlines, responsibility, and complexity before. On the reg.

So when international relocation feels harder than you expected, it can be pretty confusing.

And upsetting. 

Because no one tells you that the very strengths that make you a successful working mother can make relocation feel more destabilising, not less.

This disconnect between preparation and lived experience is one of the most underestimated parts of moving abroad with kids.

I’ve seen it in other expat families and I felt the same way when I first moved abroad. 

Let’s talk honestly about why.

1. You’re Used to Competence and Relocation Takes That Away

In your professional life, you know how things work.

You understand the systems, know how to ask the right questions and trust your own judgement. 

Relocating abroad takes away that familiarity.

Suddenly you:

• don’t understand the healthcare system
  
• are unsure how schools really function
  
• hesitate before making simple phone calls
  
• second-guess decisions you would normally make with confidence.
  
  

You may also notice that your reliance on your partner has increased, something that is deeply uncomfortable for an independent, self-assured woman like you. 

For a capable, high-functioning woman, this loss of competence can feel surprisingly destabilising.

It’s not just inconvenient, it’s an identity shift.

In the months following my international relocation, I experienced an ongoing sense of dread. It felt like I was slowly sinking and I had no idea how to stop myself. 

And when no one tell you that this can be normal, many mothers assume something is wrong with them. I sure did!

For many mothers, this phase is a low-level but persistent feeling of overwhelm. 

Not a crisis. A constant sense of increasing mental load. 

If that resonates, you might find it helpful to read Expat Overwhelm: How to Overcome It.

2. You’re Often Carrying More Than One Role

In many families, professional mothers carry two invisible roles:

• Operational manager
  
• Emotional anchor
  
  

During international relocation, both intensify.

You’re managing:

• Paperwork and appointments
  
• School transitions
  
• New routines
  
• Unfamiliar systems
  
  

At the same time, you’re:

• Helping your children process change
  
• Soothing homesickness
  
• Holding space for their emotions
  
• Trying to stay calm and positive
  
  

Often while struggling yourself.

Professional women are very good at “holding it together.”

Until they can’t anymore. 

Supporting children emotionally during relocation is a job in itself, especially when you’re still finding your own footing. 

It’s a lot. 

If you’re still in the planning phase, I’ve shared practical ways to prepare children emotionally before a move in How to Prepare Your Children Emotionally for an International Move.

3. Your Career Has Transformed (and not always how you imagined) 

For many professional mothers, international relocation comes with a change in career identity.

That might look like:

• A pause
  
• A slower trajectory
  
• A role beneath your previous level
  
• Or uncertainty about work altogether
  
  

Even when the move is intentional and positive, these shifts can bring up complex emotions, including:

• Loss of professional identity
  
• Reduced structure in your days
  
• Less recognition of your skills
  
• Financial dependence and a changed partner dynamic
  
• Questions about “who am I now?” and “what am I even doing here?”.
  
   

You’re still busy. Motherhood doesn’t suddenly become lighter.

But the quality of that busyness changes.

There can be a quiet grief for the version of yourself you might have been had you stayed, sitting right alongside excitement, gratitude, and hope for this new chapter.

That combination is surprisingly hard to articulate. It’s often harder to resolve quickly.

4. You Hold Yourself to High Standards

Professional mothers are often high achievers.

You care deeply about doing things well.

So when:

• Your child struggles at school
  
• Dinner is later or the house is messier than usual
  
• You feel more irritable or emotionally flat.
  
  

It can be hard to manage.

You may find yourself thinking:

“I should be handling this better.”
“What’s wrong with me?”

But international relocation is not a project to execute perfectly.

It’s a transition to live through.

Ttransitions are messy before they stabilise, even for capable and resilient people like you.

5. You’re Used to Being the One With Answers

In your professional life, people come to you for solutions.

You’re the one who knows what to do. How to do it. And where to go to for help if you’re not sure.

Relocation puts you in unfamiliar territory where:

• “Normal” isn’t clear anymore
  
• Adjustment timelines are unpredictable
  
• It’s hard to know which feelings are temporary and which need support.
  

That uncertainty can feel deeply uncomfortable for someone who values clarity and competence.

You don’t want clichés or empty reassurance.

You want actual understanding and practical insight that actually helps.

After five years abroad, I am finally feeling “at home” here. I have regained the feeling of everyday competence in my life, professional and personal. 

But more than that, I’ve developed a way to stay calm and not feel like it’s all my fault when I don’t understand something. 

I’ve learned that the world isn’t watching and that if I keep going, step by slow and sometimes frustrating step, I will get there. 

What Actually Helps When You’re Newly Abroad

This is often the hardest part for professional mothers to hear:

Your usual self-improvement strategies probably won’t help in this case.

Pushing harder ❌

Optimising everything ❌

Trying to prove you can cope ❌

Those approaches often increase the sense of pressure you’re feeling, rather than relieving it.

What helps instead is quieter, steadier support:

• Understanding that identity disruption is normal
  
• Expecting an adjustment window (not a quick “settle in”)
  
• Reducing pressure in the first 90 days
  
• Building predictable routines before expanding socially
  
• Having a space where you don’t have to be the strong one.
  
  

International relocation challenges competence, identity, and emotional bandwidth for all parents, but especially for capable women.

This is why the first three months after a move often feel heavier than expected. Not because you’re doing anything wrong, but because adjustment is non-linear. I

t’s messy and sometimes unpredictable. 

I’ve written more about what families really experience during this period in The First 90 Days After an International Move.

A Quiet Reminder

If you’re a professional mother finding this harder than you expected, there’s nothing wrong with you.

You are not broken. 

You’re navigating:

• A new country
  
• different systems
  
• Shifts in identity
  
• the emotional needs of your children.
  
  

All at once.

It’s a lot. 

You deserve support that understands both your competence and your vulnerability.

Not because you’re incapable, but because even capable women need steadiness when the ground shifts beneath them.

If you’re ready for extra support in your first 90 days abroad, download your FREE “Expat Starter Kit”, designed for professional Mothers’ starting this exciting and life-changing journey.

The post The Struggle is REAL for Professional Mothers Moving Abroad appeared first on Relocation and Travel Coaching.

You’ve made the big decision to move abroad. Now that the decisions have been made and the visas underway, you’re wondering, “But what do I pack?!” 

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For many families, packing feels like the final hurdle.

Suddenly, you’re standing surrounded by things that made your home, well, home, trying to decide what comes with you.

I remember standing and staring, paralysed by decision and the emotional weight of every item in front of me. 

It’s not like packing for a holiday. It‘s not even similar to moving house locally.

Packing for life abroad isn’t just about moving your belongings from one place to another. It makes you consider:

• What will help my children feel safe in unfamiliar surroundings?
  
• What routines can we carry with us?
  
• What will I wish I’d kept when everything feels new?
  

As a relocation coach supporting professional mothers through international transitions, I’ve experienced the challenge of each and everyone of these decisions, and have spoken to plenty of parents wondering “where do I even start?”. 

Packing is where practical preparation and emotional readiness meet. When it’s rushed or underestimated, you might be left feeling overwhelmed and confused. 

This guide isn’t about packing everything. It’s about packing what matters most so your family can land more steadily in your new life abroad.

If you’re moving to Germany, you might find my The Ultimate Packing Guide For Families Moving To Germany helpful. 

Why Thoughtful Packing Makes a Real Difference

When you relocate abroad with children, you’re not just moving things from one house to the next.  

You’re carrying:

• familiarity
  
• comfort
  
• emotional anchors
  
• the small details that help everyone feel grounded
  

In the first weeks after your move, those small things matter more than many families expect.

The moment the boxes arrived and I found my favourite ceramic mug, a gift from one of my closest and oldest friends, I an indescribable thrill. Even now, that mug brings me so much comfort when I’m having a bout of homesickness. 

We all need a few items that bring comfort, even when everything feels new and scary. 

There’s also the practical reality many families underestimate: replacing forgotten items abroad can be expensive, time-consuming, or unexpectedly difficult. 

Brands differ. Availability varies. Systems work differently.

But beyond cost and convenience, there’s an emotional layer too.

Children don’t always react to big changes right away. Often, it’s the absence of something small and familiar that brings the transition into sharp focus. Packing with intention helps soften the landing for all of you.

Before you move on, pause for a moment:

What one item from home would help your family feel more settled in the first week?

Make a note. That’s your starting point.

Essential Documents to Keep With You (Not in Shipping)

No matter where you’re moving, some items should never be packed away in shipped boxes.

Keep these documents in your hand luggage or a dedicated travel folder:

• Passports for all family members
  
• Visas or residence permits (if already issued)
  
• Birth certificates
  
• Marriage or partnership certificates
  
• Medical and vaccination records
  
• School reports and transcripts
  
• Academic certificates and professional qualifications
  
• Travel and health insurance confirmations
  
• Driver’s licences and international permits (if applicable)
  
• Employment contracts or relocation paperwork.
  
  

Practical tip:
Create both physical copies and encrypted digital backups stored securely online.

Clothing: Packing for an Unfamiliar Climate

One of the trickiest parts of my international move was packing for the Winter. Coming from Australia, I’d never experienced a Northern Hemisphere Winter.

Even though I’d researched the climate (and my husband is German!), my experience of the seasons was very different to my expectations. 

This can be true of seasons, temperatures and humidity. If you’re not yet accustomed to the climate, packing for it is hard. 

Rather than packing for extremes, focus on flexibility.

Core clothing principles

• Prioritise layers
  
• Choose items that mix easily
  
• Pack for comfort, not aesthetics alone
  
  
  

Reliable essentials for most destinations

• Weatherproof outer layers (rain jackets, waterproof shoes)
  
• Lightweight sweaters or pullovers
  
• Comfortable walking shoes
  
• Sleepwear suited to temperature changes
  
• Indoor footwear or slippers (common in many cultures)
  
  

Once the basics are covered, pack the clothes that make you feel like yourself.

The ones you reach for automatically.

The ones that fit well and require little mental energy.

Your confidence matters during transition too.

For children

Pack familiar, well-loved outfits.

Even if they’re not perfectly suited to the new climate long-term, even if they’re impractical. 

Familiarity often matters more than practicality in the early weeks.

Work, School, and Daily Life Clothing

Workplace expectations vary widely by country and industry, but many international families are surprised by how practical daily dress tends to be.

Before packing extensively:

• clarify workplace norms where possible
  
• prioritise versatile, comfortable items
  
• avoid overpacking “just in case” pieces
  

For children, school clothing usually requires:

• comfortable everyday wear
  
• weather-appropriate outdoor layers
  
• spare items for changing or accidents
  

Uniforms are the exception rather than the rule in many countries. 

Expectations around outdoor play, walking, and independence though, can be higher than families anticipate.

The Things Families Most Often Wish They’d Packed

Every family is different, but certain items come up again and again in conversations with parents after a move.

These are the things that tend to support emotional regulation and daily ease in the early weeks:

• Comfort items for children (soft toys, books, blankets)
  
• A pram, stroller, or baby carrier if age-appropriate
  
• A small family medicine kit with trusted basics
  
• Prescription medications for the first few weeks
  
• School or learning supplies your children already use
  
• Essential digital devices and chargers
  
  

💡 Helpful idea:
Let children pack a small “arrival bag” with items they choose themselves. This sense of agency can make a meaningful difference during transition.

Household Items Worth Bringing From Home

While minimalism is often encouraged when moving abroad, some household items are worth prioritising, particularly if you’re sensitive to quality, comfort, or familiarity.

Common examples include:

• Favourite spices or pantry basics
  
• Pillows or bedding that support good sleep
  
• Power adapters and voltage converters
  
• Small appliances with personal value
  
• Kitchen tools you rely on daily
  
  

Large appliances and furniture are often better sourced locally, once you understand space, compatibility, and lifestyle norms.

Your First-Week Transition Kit

No matter how organised you are, international moves rarely go exactly to plan.

Luggage can be delayed. Shipments can arrive late. Temporary accommodation can feel disorienting.

A dedicated transition kit ensures your family has what it needs even if everything else is delayed.

Don’t forget to include:

• Several days of clothing for each family member
  
• Basic toiletries
  
• Bedtime essentials
  
• Chargers and adapters
  
• Important documents and valuables
  
  
  

Ask yourself:

• What would be hardest to replace quickly?
  
• What helps us function when tired and overwhelmed?
  
  

Start there.

What Not to Pack When Moving Abroad

Just as important as what you bring is what you leave behind.

In most cases, it’s best to avoid packing:

• bulky, low-value furniture
  
• rarely used medications
  
• food items restricted by customs
  
• clothing for future seasons (especially for children, they grow so fast!)
  
  

In many countries, secondhand markets and local buying options are far more accessible than families expect.

Less really is more during international transitions.

Final Packing Advice for Families

It’s not easy and it can be overwhelming. As Mothers, we want to get everything right. We want to do the best and be the best for our kids. 

Here are my last tips to get you started and take away any of that sneaky overwhelm that always finds it’s way into our major life decisions: 

• Start earlier than you think you need to
  
• Be selective, not sentimental
  
• Label clearly and specifically
  
• Involve your children where possible
  
• Pace yourself — packing is demanding
  
  

Most importantly: remember that packing is just one part of the transition.

We’re not aiming for perfection. Good enough will do.

You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone

Moving abroad as a family reshapes routines, identities, and expectations, not just addresses.

If you’d like structured support through the emotional and practical side of relocation, my work focuses on helping professional mothers navigate this transition with clarity and steadiness.

Download the Expat Starter Kit to support your first months abroad

You’re doing something brave for your family.

Take it one step at a time.

The post The Ultimate Packing Guide for Families Moving Abroad appeared first on Relocation and Travel Coaching.

Did you know that expats are 2.5 times more likely to experience anxiety and depression? 50% of us are put in the “High Risk” category for suffering anxiety and depression*. 

Expat Overwhelm leaves you feeling dazed and unable to complete basic tasks. 

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Culture shock, social adjustment, and the emotional load of moving abroad all play a role, but for many mothers, the most disruptive part isn’t logistical at all.

It’s what happens internally once everything familiar disappears.

In my first winter in Germany, I lost hats, gloves, wallet, and keys. I’d never before been so muddle-headed. 

I felt uneasy about visiting new places. Engaging with strangers filled me with dread. I often sat on the couch, unsure what to do next. 

This wasn’t who I thought I was.

And that disconnect between who you know yourself to be and how you’re functioning is often the most frightening part of expat overwhelm.

What is Expat Overwhelm?

Expat overwhelm is the result of sustained stress without familiar anchors.

It’s the ongoing experience of:

• What do I do now?
  
• How do I do it here?
  
• Who can I ask for help?
  

Often referred to as “expat syndrome,” this state is widely misunderstood and confused with homesickness.

Instead of recognising it as a predictable response to prolonged change, many women internalise it and ask:

What’s wrong with me?

Nothing.

When stress, isolation, and self-doubt combine — especially while parenting — the nervous system can shift into a freeze response.

This is what being “stuck” actually feels like.

Symptoms of Expat Overwhelm

Expat overwhelm can look like:

• General confusion
  
• Forgetfulness
  
• Reduced ability to concentrate
  
• Fatigue
  
• Disturbed sleep
  
• Persistent self-doubt
  

These symptoms are often misinterpreted, or misdiagnosed, which can increase fear rather than reduce it.

If you are in immediate danger or need urgent support, please see the emergency resources at the end of this post.

If you are in immediate danger and need urgent support, please see the emergency resources at the end of this post.

Why Expat Overwhelm Happens (Especially for Mothers)

Expat overwhelm isn’t a personal failure or a sign that you’re “not cut out for this life.”
It’s a predictable response to sustained change — particularly when you’re responsible not only for yourself, but for your children too.

Most families expect the move itself to be stressful.
What they don’t anticipate is how long the adjustment phase lasts, and how many layers of pressure it carries.

For mothers, that pressure tends to stack quietly and cumulatively.

The Loss of Familiar Systems

Much of our day-to-day confidence comes from familiarity.

Knowing how things work.
Knowing where to go.
Knowing what’s expected of you — and how to get things done efficiently.

When you move abroad, those systems disappear overnight.

Suddenly, simple tasks require extra thought.
Routine errands take more time.
Every decision — from paperwork to parenting — carries more weight.

Even highly capable women can feel unsteady when the scaffolding that once supported them is gone. Not because they’ve changed, but because the environment has.

The Invisible Emotional Load of Motherhood Abroad

On top of managing your own adjustment, you’re often carrying the emotional load for your children as well.

You’re watching for signs of homesickness.
Translating unfamiliar experiences.
Holding space for big feelings — while trying to stay regulated yourself.

Much of this work is invisible. It doesn’t show up on a checklist, but it takes real energy.

When mothers feel depleted abroad, it’s often because they’re doing far more emotional labour than they realise — without the usual support structures to offset it.

Language, Isolation, and Constant Adjustment

Language barriers and cultural differences add another layer of strain.

Even when you speak the local language reasonably well, operating in a second language requires more concentration. Social cues are harder to read. Small misunderstandings can feel outsized.

At the same time, familiar social connections may be missing — friends, family, casual support.

This combination of isolation and constant adjustment keeps the nervous system in a low-level state of alert, making it harder to rest and recover.

The Impact of Climate and Diet Changes

What’s often overlooked is the physical side of adjustment.

Changes in climate, light exposure, food, and daily rhythms can have a significant impact on energy levels, sleep, mood, and overall wellbeing.

Different seasons, longer winters, or less daylight can affect emotional resilience.
New foods — or the absence of familiar ones — can influence digestion, appetite, and comfort.

When your body is quietly working harder to adapt, emotional capacity tends to shrink.

This doesn’t mean anything is “wrong.” It means your system is adjusting on multiple levels at once — physically, emotionally, and psychologically.

Why It Can Feel Like Too Much

When all of these factors combine — loss of familiarity, increased emotional labour, social isolation, and physical adjustment — overwhelm becomes a logical outcome.

Not dramatic.
Not unexpected.
And not permanent.

Understanding why this happens is often the first step toward regaining a sense of stability and self-trust.

Why This Isn’t Your Fault

You are not overwhelmed because you are:

• weak
  
• lazy
  
• incapable
  

Expat overwhelm doesn’t arrive all at once.

It builds slowly, especially when you start believing you should be coping better.

That belief, and not the move itself,  is often what keeps women stuck.

Isn’t Expat Overwhelm just feeling homesick? 

Not quite. 

Feeling homesick is an acute longing for the familiar. The sudden urge to smell your Mum’s cooking or the surprising pang of sadness when you put up the Christmas Tree and it just doesn’t feel the same. 

In it’s most extreme form, feeling homesick can manifest with severe physical and emotional symptoms. It is a sickness, afterall. 

Expat Overwhelm is an experience of stress that can keep you stuck and stop you from fulfilling your goals of living abroad. For example, in the overwhelmed state, you may be unable to be productive, social or emotionally available to your family.

Read my post about overcoming homesickness here. 

From Overwhelm to a New Normal (My Story)

I moved to Germany during the pandemic. 

Was it the worst time to begin a new life in a foreign country? Quite probably.

No language skills.
No social connections.
No ability to travel the way we’d planned.

At first, it felt like an adventure.

But gradually, self-doubt crept in.

Was this a mistake?
Had I ruined something for my child?
Why did everything feel so hard?

I became forgetful.
Decision-making felt impossible.
Life felt like too much.

What helped wasn’t fixing everything — it was stabilising enough to keep going.

• Building a social network, one small interaction at a time
  
• Learning the language, slowly reclaiming my competence
  
• Accepting my limits without giving up
  
• Remembering why we moved
  
• Allowing time to do what only time can do

You can read more about my story here. 

What Actually Helps Expat Overwhelm

Expat overwhelm isn’t permanent, but it does require support.

Create predictable routines

Biological rhythms matter: sleep, movement, food, daylight.

When the body feels safe, the mind can follow.

Build support intentionally

Community doesn’t happen accidentally abroad.

It’s built — awkwardly at first, then more naturally.

Adjust expectations

Your timeline is not someone else’s.

Pressure delays adjustment; self-compassion supports it.

Care for yourself on purpose

Even 20 minutes a day matters.
Especially at the beginning.

Small Steps, Big Changes 

Expat Overwhelm, interestingly, isn’t universal. Not every expat experiences it. 

Some people settle into their new lives without a problem. Why are they so lucky? What’s different about their experience? 

Partly, your temperament is to blame. Some people are just more adaptable than others. 

However, managing your expectations and building a supportive community will reduce your feelings of overwhelm when you arrive. 

Here are some practical tips that you can start implementing now. 

Find other expats

Join local expat facebook groups, show up at the goofy International Friends dinners and just get out there.

Keep a journal

This can be a daily diary, goal-setting or just getting all of your mean-girl thoughts out of your head.

I don’t mean spend hours a day on this task (unless you can, then do it!).

Simply jotting down your struggles from the day or musing on what you’re grateful for can help.

Engage with the locals 

Get amongst the quirky festivals, strange parades and odd celebrations of your new home.

You didn’t move here to lead the very same life you had at home!

The sooner you’re able to engage with and better understand how the locals view the world, the sooner you’ll start to feel at home.

Do what you loved at home here as well

Loved dancing at home? Keep it up! Did yoga daily? Don’t stop now. Whatever you did routinely at home, do it in your new home. Sure, I want you to engage with the locals but that doesn’t mean giving up what makes you, you.

A Note Before You Go 

Expat overwhelm is real — and it is common among capable, thoughtful women.

If this resonates, nothing has gone wrong.
You are responding normally to sustained change.

With support, structure, and time, a new sense of stability does emerge.

You don’t have to rush it.

Download my FREE Expat Family Starter Kit to help you get started.

Have you ever felt Expat Overwhelm? Share your experiences in the comments below. 

Emergency Support 

Online Support Services

1. My International Therapy

Self-described as “by expats, for expats”, this is a fantastic place to find support if you’re struggling with Expat Overwhelm. With the option of online or on-site consultations in Berlin available, you are able to seek out a professional who best matches you and your unique needs. 

2. It’s Complicated Platform
With the specific aim of connecting expats with English-speaking therapists (60 languages in all if English isn’t your Mother tongue), this online allows you to browse professionals with a wealth of experience, specialities and modalities to find your perfect match. Online and in-person session available, with practicing professionals based across Europe and the US. 

3. Mindler
An app-based platform offering online therapy sessions in many languages with professionals boasting experience in offering various forms of support, specifically for stress management, anxiety and depression.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

What is Expat Overwhelm?

Expat Overwhelm is a term used to incorporate feelings of anxiety, stress, fatigue and other symptoms that can be experienced after relocating to a new country. It may be triggered by challenges experienced due to language barrier, culture shock and feelings of homesickness. 

What are the symptoms of Expat Overwhelm?

Common symptoms of Expat Overwhelm are anxiety, forgetfulness, difficulty concentrating, frustration, fatigue, headaches and tummy troubles. 

How can I create a social network in my new home abroad? 

Joining expat groups in your new city, participating in community events and connecting with neighbours or other local people can quickly build your social network and reduce your feelings of loneliness and isolation. Facebook is a great resource for connecting with other expats in your city. 

I’m an expat and I’m overwhelmed. What should I do?

• Create a daily routine to give yourself predictability and stability. 
• Journal.
• Stay socially engaged. 
• Seek professional support if you can’t cope alone any longer. There’s strength in getting help. 

How long will it take before my new home feels like home?

This depends on so many personal factors that I can’t possibly predict your experience. Depending on your age, lifestyle, life experiences, expectations and barriers experienced in your new home, adjusting could take as little as a few months and as much as several years. Everyone’s different and every experience is unique. 

Can Expat Overwhelm effect my family, too?

Unfortunately, yes, it can effect everyone of every age. Your family members may themselves begin to feel overwhelmed or be negatively impacted by your feelings of overwhelm. It’s important to look after yourself and each other through this major life transition. 

Got more questions? Share them in the comments. 

Sources

https://expathealth.org/healthcare/expats-have-greater-risk-of-mental-health-issue

https://www.axaglobalhealthcare.com/en/wellbeing/emotional/top-expat-concerns

The post Expat Overwhelm: How to Overcome It appeared first on Relocation and Travel Coaching.

Featured in every post, their little lives digitally documented online, often before they’re old enough to say “yes” or “no”.

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On the other hand, you might have noticed a lack of photos of my kids in my content. Sure, I share stories from our lives, but you’ll never see them. 

My work, both as a coach here and as a Social Worker in the Child Protection and Family Support Space, is centred around supporting women in their roles as Mothers.

Having worked with families experiencing violence, addiction, mental health issues, homelessness and sexual abuse, I’ve learnt one thing:

ALL Mother’s are doing their best.  

And this is why the question of digital safety for kids is so important to me and my business. 

If you’re abroad with your kids, all you want to do is share the experiences they’re having. Those beaming smiles and the stunning backgrounds are worth sharing! And I understand why you’d want to.

I know what it feels like to want to shout your joy from the rooftops—to say, ‘Look! We’re doing it! We’re thriving abroad!’ That instinct is beautiful. I feel it too.

In this post, I want to share my reasons for not sharing my children’s images online and challenge you to start posting pictures of your children with clarity and intention. 

Family Is at the Heart of My Work

Breathe in Between grew out of my desire to support other women struggling to find their groove as Mothers abroad or as families on the go, wherever they are in the world. 

As a new parent living abroad, I struggled without my social network. It was awful. 

My mission is to support you to be the strongest, best parent you can be in your new home or on the road. 

But it’s not just from my personal experience that I draw my perspective in creating support programs for you. The foundation of Breathe in Between comes from my professional training and experience. 

My content combines my raw personal experiences with my professional tools like assessment frameworks, trauma-informed strategies, and an understanding of children’s rights—including their right to privacy.

I’m not just a Mom-blogger.

I am a professional and a Mother.

If you want to learn more about my motherhood journey abroad, check out this post.

Why I Don’t Share Photos of My Kids Online

When I was pregnant with my first (it feels like ancient history now!), I knew that this baby wouldn’t be shared online.

Why? I considered my job to protect their privacy as a protection of their future.

This decision goes beyond the (very real) risk of predators and straight to the question of a child’s rights, specifically a child’s right to privacy. 

Children have the right to choose.

They have the right to decide how their image and voice are used. Children have the right to say “no”, too. 

It is a child’s right to decide how their story is shared. Not ours. 

A relative once asked me if I was proud of my kids because I never post about them online. 

I was stunned! Of course I’m proud of them. I adore my children. 

There was a moment, spending a quiet afternoon in the Albanian Alps, when my children were swinging in a hand-crafted swing in the yard of our Air B&B with the soaring mountains behind them, when I instinctively reached for my phone.

I snapped the photo but I paused before sharing it online.

Not because it wasn’t beautiful—it was. But because I want those memories to be theirs, not part of my brand.

So, although my business is built on my experiences of being a parent abroad and on-the-road with my kids, it doesn’t mean they have to be shown in my business content. 

While this approach doesn’t fit for everyone, it’s what’s right for us. As I always say to my kids “Every family has different rules” and I respect parents’ right to choose.

My Content Celebrates Family but Without Faces

While you won’t see photos of my children in my content, the stories that I share from my parenting journey still revolve around them. 

My content is grounded in real experience and professional guidance. Whether you’re navigating bedtime routines in a new country or facing emotional overwhelm, I’ve been there—and I’m here to help.

Do I think photos of my kids would make my posts more relatable? Maybe. But they wouldn’t make them more valuable.

Instead of showing off my “why,” I want to help you reconnect with yours.

Why did you search for parenting support abroad? What are you hoping to feel more confident about today?

My two little “whys” are what fuel this work. But helping you feel more empowered in yours—that’s the reason I’m here.

What This Means for You and Your Family’s Story

So, why am I sharing this? Why, if it’s “no big deal”, am I dedicating a whole post to the topic? 

Because I know it’s unusual to see someone online, especially in the family space, without photos of their family. 

I also know that these questions are becoming more and more common for families as they navigate the new world of parenting online. 

You may still decide to post. That’s your right. But let it be an intentional act, not a default one.

For me, the answer has always been clear. My business, Breathe in Between, is mine. The choice to share my story was mine. But their story? That’s theirs. And protecting it—that’s my job.

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Sometimes sharing can connect us, celebrate growth, or help others feel less alone.

But when we pause, we give ourselves the chance to make that choice consciously.

Last Comments About Why I Don’t Post my Kids Online

This isn’t about fear. It’s about long-term respect. It’s about teaching my children that their story—and their boundaries—matter.

I’d love to hear how your family navigates this. Do you share images online? Have your thoughts changed over time?

Get your FREE Expat Start Kit to help you start your new life of your dreams from day one.

The post Why you won’t see my kids online (Hint: Privacy Matters) appeared first on Relocation and Travel Coaching.

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These thoughts raced through my mind as we sped down the runway, finally departing for our new life as a family in Germany.

After years of planning and months of being stalled, we were finally taking off, and I felt every bit of optimism, excitement, and hope fall away behind me.

Have I made the right decision?

It’s a question that still pops into my mind, even after four years of living abroad in Germany.

We don’t have crystal balls to show us both versions of our future. All we have are our values, our hopes, and the information available to us right now to make a decision that reflects the life we want.

If you’re asking yourself, “Should I move to Germany with my family?”, I’m here to help you make the best decision you can. This post offers you a structured process to support your decision-making process to ensure that your move matches your family’s needs and values. 

So grab a drink, a pen, and maybe even your partner. Let’s dive in.

Why Families Consider Moving to Germany

Germany is often seen as an ideal location for families considering a big move abroad, and it’s easy to see why. 

A few reasons are:

• World-class public healthcare and education.
  
• Subsidised childcare and generous parental leave allowances.
  
• Family-friendly cities, complete with playgrounds and green spaces.
  
• Work-life balance is at the core of German culture. While they work hard, they rest even harder.

Many families are drawn to Germany for professional opportunities, while others hope to connect with their own family and heritage. Whatever your reasons for considering a move to Germany, it’s a country well worth exploring for your family. 

Who, What, Where, When, How Long, and Why?

We’ll use these simple but powerful everyday questions to break down your decision-making process and guide your thinking. 

Considering this life-changing decision step-by-step will keep that rising overwhelm at bay and allow you to think critically, not just emotionally about whether Germany is a good fit for your family.  

Who Will Benefit from Moving Abroad?

List every family member on your sheet of paper. Then ask: who benefits, and how?

Maybe relocating to Germany is mainly for your career, or perhaps your partner is returning to their home. Maybe your children will gain language skills or build connections with members of the extended family. 

It’s ok if the perceived benefits of the move aren’t evenly distributed. What matters right now is simply knowing. 

Our natural instinct is to rank these benefits. Who will get the most out of the move? Who will lose from our move abroad? Is that fair? 

Stop. 

Avoid judging or ranking whose benefit matters most. 

In my own experience, I felt resentment early on—my family seemed to thrive while I struggled to find my footing. But over time, I realised we all benefited in different ways, at different times.

Read more about my Motherhood Journey in Germany. 

What Will Be Achieved?

It’s time to get crystal clear on your goals. What do you want to do in Germany, that can’t be done at home?

Here are a few prompts to help you with this step: 

• Do you want to deepen family connections with extended family in Germany/ your children/ your spouse?
  
• Are their career or study options, only available to you in Germany?
  
• Are you looking for a new adventure?
  

When things get hard in your new home (and they will), these goals will become your anchor. 

For my family, our “whats” were:

• Experiencing life in Germany, my husband’s home ✅
  
• Learning German (the children and me) ✅
  
• Nurturing relationships with members of our extended German family ✅

Four years in and we’ve checked every box.

This step will also help you see if you’re running away from your current life. Moving to Germany will not help anything that you want to run away from. A move to Germany with your family will not solve these problems. 

Where Will You Move?

Sure, you probably already have a city in mind. Even so, zoom in on the details and consider:

• Which neighbourhoods are family-friendly?
  
• Are there schools and kindergartens nearby? Are they bilingual or international schools?
  
• Is there an established community of expat families, with whom to build a solid expat support network? 

If you don’t know yet, that’s no problem. Start research now – join Facebook groups, look for local expat blogs, and read what other families have experienced. 

The more specific you are now, the easier it will be for you later. 

When Will You Move?

Is your deadline fixed or is the timeline more flexible? 

Think about:

• How long do you need to prepare the required paperwork and logistics?
  
• The best way to transition your children from their old school into the new.
  
• Whether you’ll travel Germany or Europe more broadly before settling down.
  
• When the new job in Germany starts and when your current lease ends. 

Having a clear timeline helps you feel grounded, even if things change. And they will change. 

We were packed and ready to move to Germany as a family in March 20202 . . . and then the Pandemic shut the world’s borders. 

Flexibility matters and it’s easier to be flexible when we have a plan in the first place. 

How Long Will You Live Abroad?

Is this a one-year adventure, or a long-term relocation? 

While considering if you should move to Germany with your family, get clear on your initial plan and as a family, agree to revisit it at regular intervals. 

You don’t have to have all the answers right now, but a shared understanding goes a long way to avoid conflict, disappointment and resentment later. 

Our original plan was to live in Germany as a family for 3 – 5 years. We’re four years in and are still figuring out what comes next. 

Get your FREE Expat Start Kit.

Why Are You Moving?

We have arrived at the heart of your decision. 

Your “why” might be different from your partner’s, and that’s ok. What matters is articulating your individual and shared purposes. Understanding each other’s why will deepen your understanding of each other and better support your relationship after the big move. 

Ask yourself: Why does this move make sense for me? For us? For our kids?

Try to go deeper than simply “for work” or “for a change”. Here are some prompts to help you dig deeper:

• Why is this opportunity in Germany worth the international move with my family?
  
• Why is this drastic change required or desired?
  
• Why am I drawn to Germany? 

Your “why” will be tightly linked to your personal values: what you want for your life, your relationship and your children. 

Because when challenges arise (and they will), you’ll need a strong “why” to keep pushing you forward to build the life of your dreams in Germany. 

Germany: A Family-Friendly Choice

Germany doesn’t just accommodate families, it actively supports them. 

Here are just a few examples of how:

• Childcare is typically very affordable and widely available to families.
  
• Education is free, all the way up to University level.
  
• Employees have strong protections and support, including generous leave policies.
  
• World-class healthcare is holistic, easily accessible and free.
  
• Public spaces, including playgrounds, greenspaces and city squares, are designed for families to enjoy together with other families. 

I’m not trying to paint an idealised picture of Germany. It isn’t the perfect place and life here can still be hard. But in my experience, the support provided for families can make a very real difference to the functioning of our family. 

Want to know more? Read this comprehensive guide from Expatica.com.

Challenges You Might Face (and How to Handle Them)

Moving abroad is never straightforward and often includes bumps in the road. 

You might experience:

• Frustratingly slow and complicated bureaucracy: In-person appointments for everything, minimal information and unhelpful staff.
  
• Language barriers: Particularly for official paperwork and communication with the school or Kindergarten.
  
• Culture shocks and confusions: What’s “normal” here? How to parent, the expected behaviour at school and work or the way people interact with one another socially.
  
• Loneliness and homesickness: Especially if you don’t have family nearby.
  

How to handle them:

• Be Prepared: Do your research and know what to expect when you arrive.
  
• Find Support: Before you move, join expat parenting communities or work with a relocation coach to plan your move and settlement phases with confidence.
  
• Stay Flexible: Expect the unexpected, stay flexible and know that adjusting to your new life will take time.
  
• Mindset Work: Remember your “why”. You’re building the life you’ve dreamt of and there will be challenging times ahead. Stay focused, remain calm and the rest will fall into place. 

Common Objections (and Why They’re Valid—But Solvable)

What if my kids don’t adjust?

Kids are incredibly resilient. With the right support and time, most kids will thrive in their new life. 

Talk with them, validate their feelings and always involve them in your planning. 

Let them have some control over their own changing life. 

Read my top tips for supporting your homesick kids.  

I’m worried about learning the language.

This is probably one of the main objections I hear! And I get it. Learning a language is hard, especially as an adult (I know, I’ve done it!). 

But remember: You don’t need to be fluent overnight. Start with key phrases, and consider online lessons. Many families arrive speaking little German and learn it gradually over time.

How necessary it is for you to speak German will depend on where you live and your field of work. This alone shouldn’t stop you from making the move if Germany really is your dream location. 

I’m afraid I’ll lose my support network.

Packing up and leaving our lives behind, including our beloved friends and family, is hard. In time,  you will build new connections with people who understand your new life. They’ll be by your side through the ups and downs of your new expat life. 

You won’t lose your old friendships but they will look different. Thank goodness we live in the digital age. Keeping in contact with your long-distance bestie has never been easier. 

Learn how to build your expat support network, even before you leave home. 

Head, Heart & Logistics: A Quick Decision Tool

Here’s a simple framework to reflect on your decision:

Head – Does this make logical, practical sense? 

Heart – Does this move feel aligned with your values and dreams? 

Logistics – Can we realistically make this happen?

Want help thinking through it? I created a free workbook you can download to walk through these questions with your partner.

? [Download the Family Move Decision-Making Workbook]

FAQ: Should I Move to Germany with My Family?

Is there an ideal age for kids to move?
Many say the younger, the better – but children of all ages can thrive when given the right support and tools to navigate their transition.

Do I need to know German before I go?
No. It helps, but it’s not essential. You can begin learning after you arrive, though having a few basics will ease your transition.

Can we afford it?
Germany can be very affordable, especially compared to other cities like London or New York City. Public Healthcare and Education reduce costs significantly. Watch this video from @usa.mom.in.germany for a great explanation.

What should I prepare before moving?

• Paperwork: visas, birth certificates, health insurance).
• Housing research.
• Building a basic support network online.

Decision Time

You’ve reflected, you’ve journaled and maybe you’ve even talked it through with your partner. 

But you’re still not 100% sure? That’s ok. 

There is no right or wrong answer – only the decision that is right for you and your family. 

Get curious, gather some more information, and trust yourself. Your gut is telling you what you need to do. 

Whether you decide to stay or relocate your family to Germany, you’re already so brave for even considering this huge step. 

And if you do decide to move?

Know that you don’t have to do it alone. I’m here to help.

Get my FREE Expat Family Starter Kit

You’ve got this.

The post Should I Move to Germany With My Family? How to Decide If It’s Right For You appeared first on Relocation and Travel Coaching.

You’ve made it. Your family packed up, survived the flights, and arrived safely in Germany.

Jetlag is still lingering. Your to-do list is growing by the minute.

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And then it hits you.

You’re in a new country, surrounded by unfamiliar faces, and you realise how much you need support. Not just practical help but people.

People who understand the emotional weight of starting over. Someone to help you make sense of systems that don’t work the way you’re used to. A friend who can sit with your homesickness without trying to fix it.

As a relocation coach and an expat mother living in Germany, I remember how alone I felt in those early months. I had never felt lonelier in my life.

Germany is a wonderful place to raise a family, but it’s also widely considered one of the hardest countries for expats to settle into. When you’re parenting at the same time, the feeling of struggle increases rapidly.

This post explores why support networks matter so much in Germany, how to start building one, and where to look, even if your German isn’t strong yet.

These are the tips I wish I’d had when I first arrived.

1. Why a Support Network Matters Even More in Germany

Moving abroad with children is one of the most exciting decisions a family can make. It is also emotionally demanding.

You’re navigating:

• unfamiliar bureaucracy
  
• a new language
  
• different social norms
  
• and the responsibility of keeping your children emotionally steady while you’re still finding your feet
  

In Germany, this can feel particularly intense.

Research consistently shows that Germany ranks low in terms of expat ease of settling in, particularly in regards to social integration and feeling welcome. Many expats report strong systems, but weak social connections.

Without a support network, even small challenges can feel overwhelming.

When your child is sick, who helps you understand the advice from the Kinderarzt? Who herpes you decode the dense language in the letters from school? And when you feel that familiar pang of homesickness, who sits with you?

Loneliness isn’t just uncomfortable; it has real consequences. Research links ongoing loneliness to increased stress, poorer mental health, and physical health impacts. The strongest protective factor? The quality of our social relationships.

You were never meant to do this alone.

2. Start Connecting Before You Arrive 

This often surprises families, but some of the most stabilising connections can begin before you’ve even landed.

Before we moved to Dresden, I started quietly reaching out to other expat parents online. I didn’t make instant friends, but I gathered familiarity. Names. Faces. A sense of what mattered locally.

Helpful places to start:

• Facebook groups for international families in your future city
  
• Groups like:
  
  • “International Families [City]”
    
  • “English-Speaking Parents in Germany”
    
  • “[Your nationality] in Germany”
    
• Meetup.com for family-friendly or interest-based groups
  

You can also ask your existing network for introductions. Many expat parents are happy to meet “a friend of a friend” because they remember exactly what those first months felt like.You don’t need to be outgoing. You just need to be open.

3. Where to Find Your Community in Germany (Without Needing German!) 

The language barrier can be overwhelming when you first arrive, but it doesn’t have to stop you from building your expat network. 

Some of the most accessible places to connect include:

• Local expat or international parent groups
  
• International schools and bilingual kindergartens
  
• Libraries, which often host children’s activities and events
  
• Sports clubs or Vereine: incredibly common in Germany and often more welcoming than expected.
  

When I first arrived, playgrounds felt terrifying. I worried constantly about saying the wrong thing or nothing at all.

So I started small. A smile, sometimes a wave or a simple “hello”.

Every connection counts.

4. Making Friends as an Adult (When You’re Already Tired)

Let’s be honest: making friends as an adult is hard. Doing it in another language? It can feel impossible.

I remember visiting a different playground every day with my daughter, my heart racing every time another parent looked my way.

“What if they don’t speak English?” I worried.

Slowly, watching my child connect without hesitation helped me loosen my grip on perfection. I followed her lead.

Simple conversation starters work:

• “We’ve just moved here — do you come here often?”
  
• “Our kids seem about the same age.”
  
• “Do you know any good places to go with children around here?”
  

These conversations don’t need to be deep. They just need to be human.

5. Practical Support: Childcare, Help, and Everyday Relief

Support networks aren’t only emotional. They can be practical too.

In Germany, helpful resources include:

• Expat Facebook groups for babysitter and cleaner recommendations
  
• Betreut.de for childcare and household help
  
• Local platforms like Kietzee (city-specific)
  

Even a few hours of help a week can dramatically change how settled you feel.

Support sometimes buys you breathing room.

6. Online Support for the Tougher Times 

Some days, in-person connection feels like too much.

Online support can bridge the gap:

• Parenting-abroad Facebook groups
  
• Online therapy platforms (international or Germany-based)
  
• Group coaching or workshops focused on expat adjustment
  

These spaces can offer understanding without explanation, especially when language or energy is limited.

7. What If I Don’t Live In a City? 

If you’re not in Berlin, Munich, or Hamburg, this part matters.

Dresden, for example, has one of the lowest proportions of residents with an international background in Germany. That doesn’t make connection impossible, but it does mean you need to be more intentional.

Ideas that help:

• Starting a small WhatsApp group at school or Kita
  
• Joining groups in nearby cities
  
• Becoming the initiator instead of waiting to be invited
  

Sometimes, you don’t just find community, you create it.

You Deserve a Village — Even Here

Settling into life in Germany isn’t just about paperwork.

It’s about belonging.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure where to begin, you’re not failing. You’re human.

Get your FREE Expat Starter Kit to give you the best chance to thrive in your new life abroad.

You don’t have to do this alone.

Let’s build the dream life abroad where you don’t just survive. You thrive.

Sources 

* Domènech-Abella and colleagues (2023) explored over 100 studies and found that loneliness is most closely linked to the quality of our relationships, living situation, and mental and physical health—not just age or gender. Read the Domènech-Abella and colleagues literature review. 

** InterNations (2023) conducted a survey of expats worldwide and concluded that expats in Germany are among the least happy in the world. Read the 2023 InterNations expat happiness report for Germany.

*** Data from 2023 shows that close to 30% of people residing in Germany have migration background (full report here), while data from 2024 indicates that around 12% of Dresden residents have migration background (full report here). 

The post Why You Need an Expat Support Network in Germany (and how to build one!) appeared first on Relocation and Travel Coaching.

At the airport, with my passport in hand, tears in my eyes and my baby in my arms, I wondered, “Have we made the right decision?”. I suddenly questioned if what we’d decided to do was, in fact, the right decision.

My confidence was already wavering. 

Was I really going to drag my daughter to the other side of the world? Was this what I really wanted?

Today, after more than five years living in Germany, I can say that the decision was right, even if at the beginning it felt anything but. 

Like most families preparing for an international move, we planned carefully.
The packing. The visas. The logistics. The research into work, childcare, and life abroad.

What I didn’t fully plan for was how deeply the move would change me.

Not just as a professional. Not just as a partner. But as a mother finding her footing in unfamiliar ground.

This is my story about moving to Germany but reallyit could be your story. It’s a story about what happens inside a family when everything familiar disappears at once.

If you’re planning a move, or already navigating life abroad with children, I hope this helps you see what’s normal, what’s hard, and why none of it means that you’ve failed. 

Why We Chose Germany (and the Weight of Wanting to “Get It Right”) 

TGermany wasn’t a random choice for us.
It was carefully considered — professionally, practically, and financially.

We believed it would offer opportunity, stability, and a rich cultural experience for our family. And in many ways, it has.

But looking back, I can see how much pressure I placed on myself to make it work.

Not just the country.
Not just the logistics.
But motherhood itself — as if choosing to move meant I had to prove it was worth the disruption.

That quiet pressure followed me long after we arrived.

The Reality of Expat Motherhood: When Everything Familiar Is Gone

I expected the move to be hard. Like, really hard. If nothing else, I accepted that learning a new language would be a tough starting point. 

What I didn’t expect was how disorienting it would feel to have all of my markers of independence disappear overnight. 

Those early days were lonely. Caring for my daughter while my husband worked was lonely. Every day needed me to be brave, even the unremarkable ones. 

I missed my friends. I grieved the ease of the familiar. And underneath it all was guilt. I felt guilty for choosing this life for us and couldn’t stop asking the question “Did I make the right decision?”

I began questioning myself constantly.

Had we made a mistake?

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Had I made a mistake thinking I could parent abroad when I was still learning how to parent at all?

On top of these confidence crushing questions came the logistics of day-to-day life: finding an apartment, navigating systems I didn’t understand, attending appointments in a language I couldn’t yet speak, all the while wondering “when will this get easier?”. 

I didn’t recognise myself anymore.

I felt like I had transformed from being a capable, confident woman to a child needing support to achieve even the most basic tasks. 

This wasn’t the expat motherhood journey I thought I’d signed up for.

My identity felt shaken, and learning how to be a mother at the same time only intensified that feeling.

If you’re reading this and nodding your head, just know—you’re not alone. I see you. I’ve been there.

Identity Loss After Moving Abroad (Why This Is Normal)

If you recognise yourself in this experience, then I want you to know that:

You’re not alone and there is nothing wrong with you.

This is what ongoing change does to us (yes, even you). 

So much of adult confidence is built on familiarity:

• knowing how systems work
  
• understanding social cues
  
• trusting your instincts
  

When those disappear, self-doubt often follows. Transition is hard, but when everything you’ve ever known has changed, it’s even harder. 

Add motherhood into the mix, and the emotional load multiplies.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and looking for extra support, read my Guide to Overcoming Expat Overwhelm.

When Your Child Adapts Faster Than You

One of the hardest moments for me came when my daughter started daycare.

She cried at drop-off and tears flowed freely from my eyes as I left the daycare centre.

I felt like a failure and I couldn’t even explain why. 

But then, just like that, she adjusted.

She learned the language faster than I did (it’s so easy for kids!). Friends were made and her confidence grew and grew. 

Watching her taught me something that I’d always known in theory, but hadn’t yet experienced:

Learning is not a failure. It is the work.

Finding Stability Abroad: Not by Fixing, but by Understanding

What helped me wasn’t pushing harder or trying to “be more resilient.”

It was understanding what prolonged change actually does to a nervous system — especially when you’re responsible for supporting children through it too.

Slowly, I stopped interpreting discomfort as a sign I’d made the wrong decision.

I started seeing it as information.

That shift changed everything.

Who I Am Now (and What This Season Gave Me)

I still live abroad and yes, it’s still hard sometimes. 

I’m not sure if that feeling will ever go away but it no longer makes me question my entire identity. 

Instead, I lean into the confidence I’ve built over the last five years and trust myself to keep learning. To keep going. Because that’s what has got me this far. 

This season taught me:

• patience
  
• humility
  
• emotional flexibility
  
• and a deeper understanding of what families actually need during transition

Lessons from my Expat Motherhood Journey

Here are the top 5 things I’ve learned from being a Mother abroad that might help you through this challenging journey.  

1. You don’t have to do it alone — It takes a village to raise a child. You just have to find yours now. Meeting other Mums, even the German ones, is empowering. This, above all, is the lesson I hope you can take from my writing today.
   
2. Knowledge is power — The bureaucracy might feel overwhelming right now, but with the right support, you will be able to do it all. The first time I could attend an appointment alone and got it right was the day I knew I’d made it.
   
3. Motherhood can expand, not shrink, abroad — It’s a blessing and not a shame to grow with your children. You don’t have to have it all figured out yet. There’s a unique bond that comes with discovering life with your children, not simply showing it to them.
   
4. We all feel lost sometimes — And it’s ok! That’s where powerful change happens. But don’t let yourself stay in that dark place for too long – lost is best visited and quickly left behind. Whenever I feel like that, I try to remember that sinking in the swamp of confusion won’t change my situation but being curious about it will.
   
5. The life you want abroad won’t build itself — But you can build it, one intentional step after the next. No matter how small that first step is, it’s a step in the right direction. This is your life, so make it one to be proud of!

And always remember that it takes time. You need time to adjust, learn and to start building the life of your dreams. 

If You’re Navigating an International Move With Children

If you’re in the middle of an international move, or preparing for one, you don’t have to rely on instinct alone.

I’ve created a free Expat Starter Kit to help families understand the emotional, practical, and relational shifts that come with relocation. Especially in the early months.

Download the Free Family Relocation Guide to Germany.

You’re not behind.

You’re not doing it wrong.

You’re in transition. 

The post My Chaotic Expat Motherhood Journey: From Lost to Thriving appeared first on Relocation and Travel Coaching.

If navigating bureaucracy is your idea of hell, you’ve found the right place!

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After living in Germany for four years, I’m a master at beating bureaucracy and surfing wave after wave of pointless paperwork. 

Let’s dive into how to get your foreign-born baby an Australian passport overseas. 

Jump ahead if you just need to renew an Australian Passport overseas. 

Can my baby born overseas get an Australian Passport? 

In a nutshell, yes. If they are already a citizen of Australia. 

Passports are physical evidence of our citizenship. They signal where we’re from and which government is responsible for us (both in times of good and bad) while travelling. 

A passport entitles you to enter other countries and participate in life in that country according to strict rules. We know these typically as visas. 

Without a passport, there’s no visa. And without a visa, there’s no accessing foreign countries. 

BUT. 

Without citizenship, there is no passport. 

Please don’t confuse citizenship and passports as being the same thing. They’re not. 

Your baby first needs to receive Australian citizenship. Then you can apply for an Australian passport on your baby’s behalf. 

How do I know if my baby is an Australian citizen?

If your baby was born in Australia to Australian parents, then your baby is an Australian citizen. Very easy. Thank you very much. 

On the other hand, of your baby was born overseas (as I imagine is the case or why else would you want to apply for an Australian passport overseas?), you need to apply to the Australian Government for Australian citizenship. 

Another layer of bureaucracy? You better believe it. 

If you haven’t done this, check out my guide to applying for Australian citizenship for your foreign-born baby.

When Australian citizenship is granted to your tiny person, you’ll receive one of these pretty certificates. Keep it safe. You’ll need it for the passport application. 

How to Apply for Baby’s First Australian Passport 

It’s time to pull out your paperwork and get the application process started. 

What’s a bureaucratic process without paperwork? 

Answer: A day well spent. Alas, this is a bureaucratic process, so let’s go. 

Australian bureaucracy is pretty straightforward. The entire application document is completed online.

At every stage of the process, the online system will give you handy explanations and tips to ensure you get it right the first time. 

But in the end, you still have to print it out and have it physically signed by both parents and a guarantor. 

You even get a mini craft project: glueing two photos of your beautiful baby onto the form. 

Step 1: Proof of Identity paperwork

Have your identity documents with you before you try to tackle the application forms. This will save you a lot of bother later on. 

Here’s a list of what you can expect to need:

• Birth certificate of your child.
  
• Proof of your child’s Australian citizenship. 
  
• Proof of your identity (birth certificate or passport). 
  
• Evidence of parent’s Australian citizenship (Birth Certificate, Passport or Certificate of Australian citizenship).
  
• Proof of any name changes for you or your child (including if you changed your name when you were married). 
  
• Evidence of your current address (Identity card in the country you’re currently residing in). 
  
• If relevant, any legal arrangements relating to your child’s care. 
  
• Other documents may be required depending on your child’s situation. 

If these documents were not granted in Australia, don’t forget that they must be translated to be accepted. 

Step 2: Find a Guarantor

Tara, what the heck is a Guarantor? 

I  know! It’s just bureaucracy-speak for a person who confirms your child’s identity.

This person has to be:

• An Australian citizen,
  
• Not related to your child in any way through birth or marriage,
  
• Not sharing an address with your child and
  
• Have known your child for at least 12 months (if your baby is less than 12 months old, then the guarantor must have known them since birth). 

It can be tough to find someone who meets these criteria while living abroad! 

If you absolutely don’t have any Australian friend or acquaintance in your new home, then you’ll need someone who is:

• of any nationality
  
• has known your child for at least 12 months (or their entire life if they’re under one year old)
  
• practices in one of the professions listed by your nearest Embassy.

If you’re in this camp, consider approaching your child’s paediatrician to confirm your child’s identity. Medical doctors are always trusted professionals and will likely have known your child since birth. 

What does a guarantor do?

The guarantor is a trusted, not-related-to-the-child adult who confirms that the child in the photo is really the child named on the application form.

The guarantor will need to be named on the passport application form, including identity and contact information. Your guarantor will have to sign both:

• The application form (once you’ve printed it out) and
  
• the back of the child’s photo.  

Given that you have to name the guarantor in the application forms, it’s best to ask them to be your guarantor before you start the process. 

It just speeds up things a little bit for you. 

Do I really need a guarantor for my passport application abroad?

Yes. You really do. 

I know it can be tough to find someone that meets these requirements when you’re living abroad. 

And I know that even if you do have someone who fits the bill, sometimes it can be a bit awkward asking them for their passport details. 

But the rules are clear: no guarantor, no passport application.

Step 3: Passport photo of your Australian  Baby

Again, in favour of having everything ready to go once you hit print on your application form, I recommend getting the passport photos of your cutie patootie first. 

Finding a service to complete this task for you should be easy enough. Getting your baby or toddler to cooperate with the process is another matter! 

Check the complete guide for Australian passport photos before submitting your application. 

The two things we struggled with the most in getting these photos done with our little ones were:

• having our infant’s eyes open and looking at the camera,
  
• convincing our toddler to stop smiling and to close her mouth,
  
• getting either of them to sit still for the photographer. 

It might take a few attempts and probably (most definitely) also a little bit of patience. 

Can I just take the passport photo myself? 

The Australian Passport Office recommends only using a professional photographer for passport photos. 

However. 

When I applied for my youngest’s first passport here in Germany, the professional photo was rejected. Why? Because she had a wide, open-mouthed smile on her face. 

Super cute but not passport appropriate. 

For the second photo, we took a dozen photos of her at home and uploaded them to a passport photo checking site online. It automatically removed the background and checked the quality of the photo against the passport requirements. 

IT WAS ACCEPTED. 

To be clear, I am not suggesting that you should ignore the official advice. It’s just me sharing a short cut I took when I was under pressure to email an updated photo for my daughter’s passport application (I desperately wanted to avoid a second trip to Berlin!).  

Here are the Australian Passport Office’s official photo requirements.

Step 4: Online Portal setup 

Now that you have a neat bundle of paper sitting next to you, you’re going to set up an online account with the Australian Passport Office.

Here, you can manage and complete the passport application for your baby. You can also use this account to manage your own passport renewals down the line.

You are required to set-up multi-factor security, so be prepared to receive verification codes to your primary email, your mobile phone and a secondary email address as well. 

Once you’re all done, your screen should look like this: 

Step 4: Complete the online application  

Select “Start renewal/ passport application” to get started.

On the first page, select that you will be lodging the application “Overseas” and that the application is for a “Child”. Press “Next”. 

Read through the instructions on this page and select “Accept” at the bottom. You will then see that the application form fields automatically populate on the left-hand side. 

Now, continue to fill-in the fields until you’re finished. 

Remember that you can always save your application and return to it later if you need to.

Step 5: Print, sign & book an appointment 

You’re done!

Print out all of the pages in regular black and white. 

Make sure both parents sign in the right places and have your guarantor sign the back of the photograph. 

As we’re applying for a child’s passport, you will have to lodge this application in person at your nearest Australian Consulate or Embassy. 

Annoying, I know, but it’s just this once. All renewal applications can be completed by post. 

Check the website of your nearest Australian embassy or consulate to make an appointment. 

Read my top tips to overcome homesickness as a parent living abroad.

Lodgement Costs

Some Embassies and Consulates will charge for their time for in-person applications. Bonkers given that you have to lodge the application in person, but there you go. Bureaucracy. 

It will vary between locations, but here in Berlin there’s a lodgement fee for a single application but is free to lodge more than one at a time.

Why?!

I don’t know. But to save myself the fee, I elected to lodge a passport renewal application for my older daughter at the same time. 

Yes, I still had to pay for the applications (of course!), but I avoided the additional fee for the Bureaucrats time.

That clerk position seems like a plum job. I want in!

How to Renew your child‘s Australian passport overseas 

If your Australian child needs a new passport because the expiry date is rapidly approaching, you will not have to personally attend an Australian Embassy or Consulate. 

Like applying for a new Australian passport for a foreign-born child, you will need to complete the application form online, print it off, have it signed and glue the photo of your child to it. 

The only difference is that you can apply by post rather than in person. 

So, to renew your child’s Australian passport overseas, follow the handy dandy 5-steps above. 

How much does it cost? 

Applying for an Australian passport overseas for your foreign-born baby will set you back $288 (that’s Australian dollars).

The cost is the same to renew your child’s Australian passport overseas. 

Additional fees may be charged in the following circumstances:

• Replacing a lost passport
  
• Requiring express processing and delivery
  
• Additional lodgement fees (dependent on your nearest Consulate or Embassy). 

These costs do not include:

• The price of passport photos
  
• Translation costs (if required)
  
• Transport to and from the Australian Consulate or Embassy to apply in person, or
  
• Postal costs when applying by mail.

Before lodging your application, please check the up-to-date prices with the Australian Passport Office. 

How long does it take? 

The Australian Passport Office advises that all applications for Australian Passports overseas are typically completed within 6 weeks. 

My experience was, surprisingly, even faster than that.

The renewed passport for my eldest was delivered to our door step within three weeks. 

The new passport for my foreign-born baby took a little longer because the photo we’d submitted was rejected. 

Once a new photo was submitted, the passport was delivered to us in a little more than two weeks. 

What if I’m travelling?

Express processing options are available for an additional fee. 

When completing the application form, include your planned travel date to ensure timely processing. 

However, we are dealing with a government agency. Despite their best efforts, sometimes they’re unable to stick to their expected time frames. 

Be as organised as possible! 

Get your application in nice and early to avoid any stress before your travel. 

How long is the passport valid? 

Children’s passports are valid for five years. 

For anyone over the age of 16, passports are valid for 10 years. 

Does my foreign-born baby need an Australian Passport? 

Technically, no. If your family plan to stay in your new country of residence and never cross it’s national borders, your baby will probably be fine without an Australian Passport. 

But. 

Anytime you plan to travel with your baby, then they will always need a valid passport. 

If your child is a citizen of more than one country, then maybe they will have a passport only from the other country. That’s ok. 

Reasons in favour of getting an Australian Passport Overseas for your child

1. Australian citizens must enter Australia with an Australian Passport. 

So, if you’re planning a trip to visit home and your little human is an Australian citizen, they need an Australian passport. 

If your family members are dual citizens like mine, the number of passports we need when travelling is a little crazy. We need 7 for the four of us (I’m the only non-dual national among us!). 

2. It may be required by local authorities in your current country of residence.

If your child holds only Australian citizenship, local authorities may require your child to have a passport as proof of identity.

Be sure to carefully check all requirements with the relevant government authority in your city or country of residence. 

3. Your child already has one but it will soon expire

It’s always easier to renew a passport than to start the process all over again. 

If your child already has an Australian passport, then simply renew it when the time comes. 

Reasons against getting an Australian Passport overseas for your child

The cost

Australian passports are expensive. And they need to be renewed every five years for children. 

That’s almost AU $300 every five years. 

Consider if there is any value in getting your child an Australian Passport.

If you’re not planning to travel to Australia and you’re not required to have one by local authorities, it may just be a very expensive book. 

For example, our children hold both German and Australian citizenship. When we travel around Europe, it is better to use their German passports. 

They only need their Australian passports to enter Australia.

That’s why my youngest didn’t have an Australian Passport until she was two years old – right before we return to Australia.

Placating the Passport Process 

So, now you’re ready to bombard this bureaucratic task.

Consider if there’s value in obtaining an Australian Passport overseas for your child. It is an expensive process. 

Have you applied for an Australian Passport overseas for your child? Let me know how it went in the comments. 

The post Australian passport overseas for kids: How to apply appeared first on Relocation and Travel Coaching.

Maybe it was all the hormones. 

Regardless of the reason, I fell down a rabbit hole of websites, forums and bureaucratic processes, trying to figure out how she could become Australian if she was born overseas. 

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By sharing my experience and the steps I followed, I hope to save you the confusion I went through. 

This post is for you if:

• You are expecting or have had a child born overseas,
• You’re an Australian citizen and
• You would like your child to be an Australian citizen.

Is my baby an Australian citizen if born overseas? 

If, like my littlest, your baby was or will be born overseas, they may be eligible for Australian citizenship.

First, figure out if your baby is eligible for Australian citizenship. If you or your baby’s other parent were Australians when your baby was born, you can apply for Australian Citizenship by Descent.

As I was born and raised in Australia and my partner is a naturalised Australian citizen, our baby was automatically eligible to apply for Australian Citizenship by Descent. 

What is Australian Citizenship by Descent? 

When a baby is born in Australia to Australian parents, Australian citizenship is automatic. Nice and easy. You don’t need to do anything more. 

But in our case, for you and me, the bureaucratic cogs are a little slower to turn because our babies were born overseas. You might be an Australian citizen, but the Australian bureaucracy doesn’t know that you’ve had a baby. 

How can my baby get Australian citizenship by Descent?

Here comes the paperwork!

Step 1: Follow local rules for birth registration

Well before you get onto anything with Australian citizenship, you must ensure your child’s birth is first registered with the local authorities. 

I know this can be daunting if the local bureaucracy is in a foreign language. 

Ask for help from hospital staff, midwives or other community agencies to make sure you follow all of the local birth registration rules. 

Thankfully, my incredible midwife helped me with all of the paperwork, so registering our daughter’s birth was easy (well, as easy as German bureacracy is!) I thank my lucky stars for her! 

Step 2: Prepare your documents

To apply for Citizenship by Descent for your little one, you will need to have the following documents with you:

• Proof of your baby’s registration.
• Birth certificate or passport for you and/ or your partner as evidence of Australian citizenship. 
• Evidence of Australian citizenship for your other children (if applicable) 

You may be required to provide additional documents. 

Don’t forget: translate all documents that are not in English. 

Step 3: Get a passport photo and complete the Identity Declaration

I know. Getting a photo of a baby or toddler that meets the very strict requirements is tough! 

The photo must be:

• less than 6 months old,
• good quality colour, not a photocopy of a photo;
• be of the full face and shoulders, front-on and 
• in front of a plain or light-coloured background. 

The photo then needs to be signed by someone who meets the following:

• Is an Australian citizen, who 
• has known your child for more than a year (or their entire life if they’re less than one year old) 
• who is not related to you by birth or marriage 
• and doesn’t live with you. 

If you don’t know any Australians in your location overseas, this declaration can be signed by someone who:

• has known the baby their entire life who 
• is not related to you by birth or marriage 
• and doesn’t live with you 
• and works in one of the professions listed.

A good person to approach might be the child’s paediatrician because doctors are listed as trusted professionals and will likely have already examined your baby several times since birth. 

Your trusted person will need to sign the identity declaration form and write the following on the back of the passport photo:

This is a true photo of

[insert applicant’s name]

Signature

Step 4: Complete the online application

1. Create an online account with the Australian Immigration Department.
   
   With an online account, you can complete the entire application online. You can save your application to complete later. Once submitted, you can check here for updates. 

2. Once logged in, the first page will display a lot of notifications. Read through or just skip straight to the “Continue” button in the bottom right-hand corner of your screen.
   
3. In the Top Left of your screen, select “New Application”.
   
4. From the list, select “Citizenship” and then, from the drop-down menu, “Citizenship by Descent”.
   
5. Input all of the required information and click “Next” when you’ve completed the current page.
   
   Note: The system will not let you move to the next page if there’s any missing information.
   
6. Upload and attach all required documents, including the photo (both sides!)
   
7. Apply and pay the fee.

Confirmation of your application will arrive by email. It’ll include your application numbers if you need to follow up on anything in the future.

Step 5: Waiting 

And now, like all good bureaucratic things, you have to wait. 

An email will be received as soon as a decision has been made.

Step 6: Receive the Certificate of Australian Citizenship 

Soon after receiving the email that says your baby is now an Australian citizen, you’ll receive a fancy certificate in the post. 

KEEP THIS IN A SAFE PLACE. 

It proves your baby’s Australian citizenship and will be needed to apply for a passport.

How long does it take to get Australian Citizenship by Descent? 

How long it takes to get an outcome depends on: 

• Your family’s circumstances,
  
• The quality of documents provided: if any are missing, unreadable or not translated, this will add time to your wait for an outcome and
  
• How busy the assessing officers are. 

An application for Australian Citizenship by Descent takes between 71 days and 5 months (at the time of writing). 

When I applied for Australian Citizenship by Descent for my youngest born in Germany back in 2023, we had an outcome within six weeks. Unbelievably fast!

Check the current estimates for application processing.

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How much does Australian Citizenship by Descent cost? 

At the time of writing, applying for one child born overseas to receive Australian Citizenship by Descent costs $360 (AU). 

If you’re applying for more than one child, each additional application will cost $150. 

View updated fees.

Can my baby visit Australia without citizenship? 

Yes. But only if they have another citizenship and a valid passport to travel on. 

For example, my youngest is a dual German-Australian national. Before she received her Australian citizenship, she could enter Australia using her German passport with a tourist visa. Now that she’s an Australian citizen, she must enter the country on her soon-to-arrive Australian passport. 

It’s best to delay your travel plans if your baby is only eligible for Australian citizenship.

In an emergency, contact your nearest consulate for advice about what to do. 

You can contact the Australian Consular Services Team, 24 hours a day from anywhere in the world on +61 2 6261 3305 to seek further information and advice about entering Australia with your baby if they have not yet received Australian citizenship by descent.  

Final Tips

A few final tips about your application for Australian Citizenship for your baby born overseas:

• Get all of your documents organised before starting the online application form. It’ll save you so much time!
  
• Have everything translated before starting your application process. Many translation services are available online, but many will take upwards of a week to complete the job.
  
• Remember, this application process is only for Australian Citizenship by descent and not for an Australian Passport. A passport can only be applied for once Australian Citizenship is confirmed. 
  

• When in doubt, just ask! Contact your local consulate or ask other Aussie expats about their experiences. Or get in touch – I’d be happy to help.
  

And there you have it – the process of gaining Australian Citizenship for your baby born overseas.

It can be frustrating to jump through these hoops if you know your baby is eligible to be an Australian but be patient. It’s well worth the effort! 

Good luck and let me know in the comments how you get on. 

Have you applied for Australian Citizenship for your baby born overseas? Share your experiences below! 

The post Australian Citizenship by Descent: What you need to know appeared first on Relocation and Travel Coaching.

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It’s not only friendly on the wallet but also helps reduce waste and gives items a second life. I’m hooked on secondhand shopping. 

Then I moved to Germany. 

Online marketplaces existed but because my language skills were non-existent, I was terrified to contact sellers.

How do I ask if an item is available?

What does “VB” mean? 

I couldn’t find any secondhand stores like at home. Bric-a-brac charity shops where you could furnish your entire house for next to nothing.

After four years in Germany, I’ve mastered the art of shopping secondhand both online and in shops.

In this post, I’ll offer you an overview of where to find secondhand goods and share some useful German phrases to help you to shop secondhand in Germany.

Do people shop secondhand in Germany?

Yes, but thrifting isn’t a widespread activity in Germany.

Germany’s commitment to sustainability means that many Germans take great care of their possessions and prefer to rehome them. Typically, your purchase will comes with its original packaging! 

You will find plenty of choices online, shops selling used items and flea markets so that you can shop secondhand in Germany. 

Online Marketplaces to Shop secondhand in Germany

By far the easiest place to shop secondhand in Germany is online. Yes, you will have to manage negotiations and arrangements in German, but you’ve got this!

Google Translate always helps when you’re stuck. 

eBay Kleinanzeigen 

Known as Germany’s Craigslist, this site is the best place to start when you want to shop secondhand in Germany.  

Head here: https://www.kleinanzeigen.de/

Best for: Household appliances, furniture, bikes, electronics, clothes for the whole family. 

Pick-up or postage? Typically pick-up but for some items postage is available.   

Payment: Cash on pickup, via PayPal or direct bank transfer or through the platform’s payment system. 

Pros

• Huge userbase: You’ll almost definitely find what you’re looking for. 
• Easy searchability: Filters and categories help speed up your search.   
• Public Ratings: allowing you to decide who to trust. 

Cons

• Scammers: Be very cautious about messages from unknown people; ignore requests to confirm your details through Telegram or WhatsApp. 
• Pickup coordination: Arranging a pickup time can be tricky. 

Personal experience: My first successful purchase from eBay Kleinanzeigen was an old postage box now that I now use for shoes. As a result, a small piece of our city’s history has been incorporated into our home’s decor. Using Google Translate allowed me to successfully negotiated the price and collection time with the seller, giving me a huge confidence boost for my next purchases. 

Vinted 

Another large site with branches around the world.

Head here: https://www.vinted.de/

Best for: Clothes, shoes, bedding.

Pick-up or postage? Postage is preferred by the majority of vendors, with many options for delivery.

Payment: PayPal, direct bank transfer or payment through the platform’s payment system.

Pros:

• Extensive range of clothing: You’ll find everything your family needs. 
• Speciality items: Snow gear and maternity wear are readily available. 
• Buyer protection as standard: You will be refunded if your items aren’t posted within a week of purchase. 

Cons

• Overwhelm: The number of postage and delivery options can be a lot to learn. 

Personal experience: Overall, Vinted is my go-to marketplace for used clothes. Every year I add to my Winter wardrobe through Vinted, snapping up bargains on Fjällräven snow jackets, cardigans and bags. 

Facebook Marketplace

Best for: A little bit of everything. 

Pick-up or postage? Negotiated with the seller. 

Payment: Negotiated with the seller. 

Pros: 

• Accessibility: Everyone already has a Facebook account! 
• Connection to locals: You can meet more people from your new home. 

Cons: 

• Limited range: Very few listings compared to Facebook Marketplace in other places. 

Personal experience: Since living in Germany, I have never bought anything from Facebook Marketplace. Here in Dresden, the people I know barely use this marketplace.

Where to shop secondhand in Germany offline

Flea markets (Flohmarkt)

Known locally as Flohmarkt, these are open-air markets where people sell their old gear. 

Often held in parks, schools and churches, here is your chance to get thrifting! Community organisations manage these markets seasonally, allowing you to update your wardrobe as the weather changes. 

Pros:

• Direct Interactions: You can see, touch and sometimes even try on the used items for sale before committing to buying them. 
• Local connection: Get to know some locals while you’re there. 
• Simplicity: No postage or payment methods to negotiate. 

Cons:

• Not well advertised: These markets are rarely well publicized.  
• Cash Only: Generally, only cash is accepted. 

Personal Experience: So far, I have always left these markets with full hands! They’re by far my favourite way to shop secondhand in Germany.

Secondhand and Thrift Shops 

These look just like regular retail stores from the outside (unlike back in Australia where thrift stores tend to look overcrowded and a bit disorganised!).

Pros:

• Specialisation: Every shop tends to have a speciality, so you know what you can expect. 

Cons:

• Opening hours: Often these stores have fewer opening hours than usual retail outlets.

Personal Experience: Over the last years these stores have provided me with furniture and goods for my kids.

Clothing Swaps 

Organised locally, these are a great way to restock your wardrobe without breaking your bank account or ruining the environment. 

Pros:

• Making connections: Meet people from your local area.
• Upgrade and destash: As it’s a swap, you won’t find yourself with too many clothes after your day of shopping secondhand.

Cons:

• Often there’s a small fee to be involved (normally between 5 – 10€). 

If you’re keen to get involved, try searching Kleidung austausch and your city to find local events. 

Personal Experience: To date, I’ve only attended a clothes-swapping even for children (Kinder Austausch) and loved it! Not only did we find everything our little ones needed but we had the chance to chat to locals and learn more about the community organisations behind these events. 

Essential German Phrases to shop secondhand

To help you shop secondhand in Germany, here are a few helpful words and phrases in German.

Whether you’re looking for a new wardrobe piece or a unique item to complete your home, Germany offers plenty of opportunities for shopping secondhand goods online and offline. Remember to use the handy German phrases provided to ease your shopping experience. 

Have you discovered any hidden gems or have additional tips? Let me know in the comments below!

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