You’re organised.

Don’t just survive your first 30 days in Germany, thrive.

The Expat Starter Kit for Germany includes a first-month planner, helpful phrases for appointments and where to find support in your early days in Germany.

Get your FREE Expat Starter Kit

Used to managing competing demands.
Often you’re the family planner, too.

The one who keeps everything moving, no matter what.

You’ve handled pressure, deadlines, responsibility, and complexity before. On the reg.

So when international relocation feels harder than you expected, it can be pretty confusing.

And upsetting. 

Because no one tells you that the very strengths that make you a successful working mother can make relocation feel more destabilising, not less.

This disconnect between preparation and lived experience is one of the most underestimated parts of moving abroad with kids.

I’ve seen it in other expat families and I felt the same way when I first moved abroad. 

Let’s talk honestly about why.

1. You’re Used to Competence and Relocation Takes That Away

In your professional life, you know how things work.

You understand the systems, know how to ask the right questions and trust your own judgement. 

Relocating abroad takes away that familiarity.

Suddenly you:

• don’t understand the healthcare system
  
• are unsure how schools really function
  
• hesitate before making simple phone calls
  
• second-guess decisions you would normally make with confidence.
  
  

You may also notice that your reliance on your partner has increased, something that is deeply uncomfortable for an independent, self-assured woman like you. 

For a capable, high-functioning woman, this loss of competence can feel surprisingly destabilising.

It’s not just inconvenient, it’s an identity shift.

In the months following my international relocation, I experienced an ongoing sense of dread. It felt like I was slowly sinking and I had no idea how to stop myself. 

And when no one tell you that this can be normal, many mothers assume something is wrong with them. I sure did!

For many mothers, this phase is a low-level but persistent feeling of overwhelm. 

Not a crisis. A constant sense of increasing mental load. 

If that resonates, you might find it helpful to read Expat Overwhelm: How to Overcome It.

2. You’re Often Carrying More Than One Role

In many families, professional mothers carry two invisible roles:

• Operational manager
  
• Emotional anchor
  
  

During international relocation, both intensify.

You’re managing:

• Paperwork and appointments
  
• School transitions
  
• New routines
  
• Unfamiliar systems
  
  

At the same time, you’re:

• Helping your children process change
  
• Soothing homesickness
  
• Holding space for their emotions
  
• Trying to stay calm and positive
  
  

Often while struggling yourself.

Professional women are very good at “holding it together.”

Until they can’t anymore. 

Supporting children emotionally during relocation is a job in itself, especially when you’re still finding your own footing. 

It’s a lot. 

If you’re still in the planning phase, I’ve shared practical ways to prepare children emotionally before a move in How to Prepare Your Children Emotionally for an International Move.

3. Your Career Has Transformed (and not always how you imagined) 

For many professional mothers, international relocation comes with a change in career identity.

That might look like:

• A pause
  
• A slower trajectory
  
• A role beneath your previous level
  
• Or uncertainty about work altogether
  
  

Even when the move is intentional and positive, these shifts can bring up complex emotions, including:

• Loss of professional identity
  
• Reduced structure in your days
  
• Less recognition of your skills
  
• Financial dependence and a changed partner dynamic
  
• Questions about “who am I now?” and “what am I even doing here?”.
  
   

You’re still busy. Motherhood doesn’t suddenly become lighter.

But the quality of that busyness changes.

There can be a quiet grief for the version of yourself you might have been had you stayed, sitting right alongside excitement, gratitude, and hope for this new chapter.

That combination is surprisingly hard to articulate. It’s often harder to resolve quickly.

4. You Hold Yourself to High Standards

Professional mothers are often high achievers.

You care deeply about doing things well.

So when:

• Your child struggles at school
  
• Dinner is later or the house is messier than usual
  
• You feel more irritable or emotionally flat.
  
  

It can be hard to manage.

You may find yourself thinking:

“I should be handling this better.”
“What’s wrong with me?”

But international relocation is not a project to execute perfectly.

It’s a transition to live through.

Ttransitions are messy before they stabilise, even for capable and resilient people like you.

5. You’re Used to Being the One With Answers

In your professional life, people come to you for solutions.

You’re the one who knows what to do. How to do it. And where to go to for help if you’re not sure.

Relocation puts you in unfamiliar territory where:

• “Normal” isn’t clear anymore
  
• Adjustment timelines are unpredictable
  
• It’s hard to know which feelings are temporary and which need support.
  

That uncertainty can feel deeply uncomfortable for someone who values clarity and competence.

You don’t want clichés or empty reassurance.

You want actual understanding and practical insight that actually helps.

After five years abroad, I am finally feeling “at home” here. I have regained the feeling of everyday competence in my life, professional and personal. 

But more than that, I’ve developed a way to stay calm and not feel like it’s all my fault when I don’t understand something. 

I’ve learned that the world isn’t watching and that if I keep going, step by slow and sometimes frustrating step, I will get there. 

What Actually Helps When You’re Newly Abroad

This is often the hardest part for professional mothers to hear:

Your usual self-improvement strategies probably won’t help in this case.

Pushing harder ❌

Optimising everything ❌

Trying to prove you can cope ❌

Those approaches often increase the sense of pressure you’re feeling, rather than relieving it.

What helps instead is quieter, steadier support:

• Understanding that identity disruption is normal
  
• Expecting an adjustment window (not a quick “settle in”)
  
• Reducing pressure in the first 90 days
  
• Building predictable routines before expanding socially
  
• Having a space where you don’t have to be the strong one.
  
  

International relocation challenges competence, identity, and emotional bandwidth for all parents, but especially for capable women.

This is why the first three months after a move often feel heavier than expected. Not because you’re doing anything wrong, but because adjustment is non-linear. I

t’s messy and sometimes unpredictable. 

I’ve written more about what families really experience during this period in The First 90 Days After an International Move.

A Quiet Reminder

If you’re a professional mother finding this harder than you expected, there’s nothing wrong with you.

You are not broken. 

You’re navigating:

• A new country
  
• different systems
  
• Shifts in identity
  
• the emotional needs of your children.
  
  

All at once.

It’s a lot. 

You deserve support that understands both your competence and your vulnerability.

Not because you’re incapable, but because even capable women need steadiness when the ground shifts beneath them.

If you’re ready for extra support in your first 90 days abroad, download your FREE “Expat Starter Kit”, designed for professional Mothers’ starting this exciting and life-changing journey.

The post The Struggle is REAL for Professional Mothers Moving Abroad appeared first on Professional Support for Families Relocating to Germany.

You’ve made the big decision to move abroad. Now that the decisions have been made and the visas underway, you’re wondering, “But what do I pack?!” 

Don’t just survive your first 30 days in Germany, thrive.

The Expat Starter Kit for Germany includes a first-month planner, helpful phrases for appointments and where to find support in your early days in Germany.

Get your FREE Expat Starter Kit

For many families, packing feels like the final hurdle.

Suddenly, you’re standing surrounded by things that made your home, well, home, trying to decide what comes with you.

I remember standing and staring, paralysed by decision and the emotional weight of every item in front of me. 

It’s not like packing for a holiday. It‘s not even similar to moving house locally.

Packing for life abroad isn’t just about moving your belongings from one place to another. It makes you consider:

• What will help my children feel safe in unfamiliar surroundings?
  
• What routines can we carry with us?
  
• What will I wish I’d kept when everything feels new?
  

As a relocation coach supporting professional mothers through international transitions, I’ve experienced the challenge of each and everyone of these decisions, and have spoken to plenty of parents wondering “where do I even start?”. 

Packing is where practical preparation and emotional readiness meet. When it’s rushed or underestimated, you might be left feeling overwhelmed and confused. 

This guide isn’t about packing everything. It’s about packing what matters most so your family can land more steadily in your new life abroad.

If you’re moving to Germany, you might find my The Ultimate Packing Guide For Families Moving To Germany helpful. 

Why Thoughtful Packing Makes a Real Difference

When you relocate abroad with children, you’re not just moving things from one house to the next.  

You’re carrying:

• familiarity
  
• comfort
  
• emotional anchors
  
• the small details that help everyone feel grounded
  

In the first weeks after your move, those small things matter more than many families expect.

The moment the boxes arrived and I found my favourite ceramic mug, a gift from one of my closest and oldest friends, I an indescribable thrill. Even now, that mug brings me so much comfort when I’m having a bout of homesickness. 

We all need a few items that bring comfort, even when everything feels new and scary. 

There’s also the practical reality many families underestimate: replacing forgotten items abroad can be expensive, time-consuming, or unexpectedly difficult. 

Brands differ. Availability varies. Systems work differently.

But beyond cost and convenience, there’s an emotional layer too.

Children don’t always react to big changes right away. Often, it’s the absence of something small and familiar that brings the transition into sharp focus. Packing with intention helps soften the landing for all of you.

Before you move on, pause for a moment:

What one item from home would help your family feel more settled in the first week?

Make a note. That’s your starting point.

Essential Documents to Keep With You (Not in Shipping)

No matter where you’re moving, some items should never be packed away in shipped boxes.

Keep these documents in your hand luggage or a dedicated travel folder:

• Passports for all family members
  
• Visas or residence permits (if already issued)
  
• Birth certificates
  
• Marriage or partnership certificates
  
• Medical and vaccination records
  
• School reports and transcripts
  
• Academic certificates and professional qualifications
  
• Travel and health insurance confirmations
  
• Driver’s licences and international permits (if applicable)
  
• Employment contracts or relocation paperwork.
  
  

Practical tip:
Create both physical copies and encrypted digital backups stored securely online.

Clothing: Packing for an Unfamiliar Climate

One of the trickiest parts of my international move was packing for the Winter. Coming from Australia, I’d never experienced a Northern Hemisphere Winter.

Even though I’d researched the climate (and my husband is German!), my experience of the seasons was very different to my expectations. 

This can be true of seasons, temperatures and humidity. If you’re not yet accustomed to the climate, packing for it is hard. 

Rather than packing for extremes, focus on flexibility.

Core clothing principles

• Prioritise layers
  
• Choose items that mix easily
  
• Pack for comfort, not aesthetics alone
  
  
  

Reliable essentials for most destinations

• Weatherproof outer layers (rain jackets, waterproof shoes)
  
• Lightweight sweaters or pullovers
  
• Comfortable walking shoes
  
• Sleepwear suited to temperature changes
  
• Indoor footwear or slippers (common in many cultures)
  
  

Once the basics are covered, pack the clothes that make you feel like yourself.

The ones you reach for automatically.

The ones that fit well and require little mental energy.

Your confidence matters during transition too.

For children

Pack familiar, well-loved outfits.

Even if they’re not perfectly suited to the new climate long-term, even if they’re impractical. 

Familiarity often matters more than practicality in the early weeks.

Work, School, and Daily Life Clothing

Workplace expectations vary widely by country and industry, but many international families are surprised by how practical daily dress tends to be.

Before packing extensively:

• clarify workplace norms where possible
  
• prioritise versatile, comfortable items
  
• avoid overpacking “just in case” pieces
  

For children, school clothing usually requires:

• comfortable everyday wear
  
• weather-appropriate outdoor layers
  
• spare items for changing or accidents
  

Uniforms are the exception rather than the rule in many countries. 

Expectations around outdoor play, walking, and independence though, can be higher than families anticipate.

The Things Families Most Often Wish They’d Packed

Every family is different, but certain items come up again and again in conversations with parents after a move.

These are the things that tend to support emotional regulation and daily ease in the early weeks:

• Comfort items for children (soft toys, books, blankets)
  
• A pram, stroller, or baby carrier if age-appropriate
  
• A small family medicine kit with trusted basics
  
• Prescription medications for the first few weeks
  
• School or learning supplies your children already use
  
• Essential digital devices and chargers
  
  

💡 Helpful idea:
Let children pack a small “arrival bag” with items they choose themselves. This sense of agency can make a meaningful difference during transition.

Household Items Worth Bringing From Home

While minimalism is often encouraged when moving abroad, some household items are worth prioritising, particularly if you’re sensitive to quality, comfort, or familiarity.

Common examples include:

• Favourite spices or pantry basics
  
• Pillows or bedding that support good sleep
  
• Power adapters and voltage converters
  
• Small appliances with personal value
  
• Kitchen tools you rely on daily
  
  

Large appliances and furniture are often better sourced locally, once you understand space, compatibility, and lifestyle norms.

Your First-Week Transition Kit

No matter how organised you are, international moves rarely go exactly to plan.

Luggage can be delayed. Shipments can arrive late. Temporary accommodation can feel disorienting.

A dedicated transition kit ensures your family has what it needs even if everything else is delayed.

Don’t forget to include:

• Several days of clothing for each family member
  
• Basic toiletries
  
• Bedtime essentials
  
• Chargers and adapters
  
• Important documents and valuables
  
  
  

Ask yourself:

• What would be hardest to replace quickly?
  
• What helps us function when tired and overwhelmed?
  
  

Start there.

What Not to Pack When Moving Abroad

Just as important as what you bring is what you leave behind.

In most cases, it’s best to avoid packing:

• bulky, low-value furniture
  
• rarely used medications
  
• food items restricted by customs
  
• clothing for future seasons (especially for children, they grow so fast!)
  
  

In many countries, secondhand markets and local buying options are far more accessible than families expect.

Less really is more during international transitions.

Final Packing Advice for Families

It’s not easy and it can be overwhelming. As Mothers, we want to get everything right. We want to do the best and be the best for our kids. 

Here are my last tips to get you started and take away any of that sneaky overwhelm that always finds it’s way into our major life decisions: 

• Start earlier than you think you need to
  
• Be selective, not sentimental
  
• Label clearly and specifically
  
• Involve your children where possible
  
• Pace yourself — packing is demanding
  
  

Most importantly: remember that packing is just one part of the transition.

We’re not aiming for perfection. Good enough will do.

You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone

Moving abroad as a family reshapes routines, identities, and expectations, not just addresses.

If you’d like structured support through the emotional and practical side of relocation, my work focuses on helping professional mothers navigate this transition with clarity and steadiness.

Download the Expat Starter Kit to support your first months abroad

You’re doing something brave for your family.

Take it one step at a time.

The post The Ultimate Packing Guide for Families Moving Abroad appeared first on Professional Support for Families Relocating to Germany.

Did you know that expats are 2.5 times more likely to experience anxiety and depression? 50% of us are put in the “High Risk” category for suffering anxiety and depression*. 

Expat Overwhelm leaves you feeling dazed and unable to complete basic tasks. 

Don’t just survive your first 30 days in Germany, thrive.

The Expat Starter Kit for Germany includes a first-month planner, helpful phrases for appointments and where to find support in your early days in Germany.

Get your FREE Expat Starter Kit

Culture shock, social adjustment, and the emotional load of moving abroad all play a role, but for many mothers, the most disruptive part isn’t logistical at all.

It’s what happens internally once everything familiar disappears.

In my first winter in Germany, I lost hats, gloves, wallet, and keys. I’d never before been so muddle-headed. 

I felt uneasy about visiting new places. Engaging with strangers filled me with dread. I often sat on the couch, unsure what to do next. 

This wasn’t who I thought I was.

And that disconnect between who you know yourself to be and how you’re functioning is often the most frightening part of expat overwhelm.

What is Expat Overwhelm?

Expat overwhelm is the result of sustained stress without familiar anchors.

It’s the ongoing experience of:

• What do I do now?
  
• How do I do it here?
  
• Who can I ask for help?
  

Often referred to as “expat syndrome,” this state is widely misunderstood and confused with homesickness.

Instead of recognising it as a predictable response to prolonged change, many women internalise it and ask:

What’s wrong with me?

Nothing.

When stress, isolation, and self-doubt combine — especially while parenting — the nervous system can shift into a freeze response.

This is what being “stuck” actually feels like.

Symptoms of Expat Overwhelm

Expat overwhelm can look like:

• General confusion
  
• Forgetfulness
  
• Reduced ability to concentrate
  
• Fatigue
  
• Disturbed sleep
  
• Persistent self-doubt
  

These symptoms are often misinterpreted, or misdiagnosed, which can increase fear rather than reduce it.

If you are in immediate danger or need urgent support, please see the emergency resources at the end of this post.

If you are in immediate danger and need urgent support, please see the emergency resources at the end of this post.

Why Expat Overwhelm Happens (Especially for Mothers)

Expat overwhelm isn’t a personal failure or a sign that you’re “not cut out for this life.”
It’s a predictable response to sustained change — particularly when you’re responsible not only for yourself, but for your children too.

Most families expect the move itself to be stressful.
What they don’t anticipate is how long the adjustment phase lasts, and how many layers of pressure it carries.

For mothers, that pressure tends to stack quietly and cumulatively.

The Loss of Familiar Systems

Much of our day-to-day confidence comes from familiarity.

Knowing how things work.
Knowing where to go.
Knowing what’s expected of you — and how to get things done efficiently.

When you move abroad, those systems disappear overnight.

Suddenly, simple tasks require extra thought.
Routine errands take more time.
Every decision — from paperwork to parenting — carries more weight.

Even highly capable women can feel unsteady when the scaffolding that once supported them is gone. Not because they’ve changed, but because the environment has.

The Invisible Emotional Load of Motherhood Abroad

On top of managing your own adjustment, you’re often carrying the emotional load for your children as well.

You’re watching for signs of homesickness.
Translating unfamiliar experiences.
Holding space for big feelings — while trying to stay regulated yourself.

Much of this work is invisible. It doesn’t show up on a checklist, but it takes real energy.

When mothers feel depleted abroad, it’s often because they’re doing far more emotional labour than they realise — without the usual support structures to offset it.

Language, Isolation, and Constant Adjustment

Language barriers and cultural differences add another layer of strain.

Even when you speak the local language reasonably well, operating in a second language requires more concentration. Social cues are harder to read. Small misunderstandings can feel outsized.

At the same time, familiar social connections may be missing — friends, family, casual support.

This combination of isolation and constant adjustment keeps the nervous system in a low-level state of alert, making it harder to rest and recover.

The Impact of Climate and Diet Changes

What’s often overlooked is the physical side of adjustment.

Changes in climate, light exposure, food, and daily rhythms can have a significant impact on energy levels, sleep, mood, and overall wellbeing.

Different seasons, longer winters, or less daylight can affect emotional resilience.
New foods — or the absence of familiar ones — can influence digestion, appetite, and comfort.

When your body is quietly working harder to adapt, emotional capacity tends to shrink.

This doesn’t mean anything is “wrong.” It means your system is adjusting on multiple levels at once — physically, emotionally, and psychologically.

Why It Can Feel Like Too Much

When all of these factors combine — loss of familiarity, increased emotional labour, social isolation, and physical adjustment — overwhelm becomes a logical outcome.

Not dramatic.
Not unexpected.
And not permanent.

Understanding why this happens is often the first step toward regaining a sense of stability and self-trust.

Why This Isn’t Your Fault

You are not overwhelmed because you are:

• weak
  
• lazy
  
• incapable
  

Expat overwhelm doesn’t arrive all at once.

It builds slowly, especially when you start believing you should be coping better.

That belief, and not the move itself,  is often what keeps women stuck.

Isn’t Expat Overwhelm just feeling homesick? 

Not quite. 

Feeling homesick is an acute longing for the familiar. The sudden urge to smell your Mum’s cooking or the surprising pang of sadness when you put up the Christmas Tree and it just doesn’t feel the same. 

In it’s most extreme form, feeling homesick can manifest with severe physical and emotional symptoms. It is a sickness, afterall. 

Expat Overwhelm is an experience of stress that can keep you stuck and stop you from fulfilling your goals of living abroad. For example, in the overwhelmed state, you may be unable to be productive, social or emotionally available to your family.

Read my post about overcoming homesickness here. 

From Overwhelm to a New Normal (My Story)

I moved to Germany during the pandemic. 

Was it the worst time to begin a new life in a foreign country? Quite probably.

No language skills.
No social connections.
No ability to travel the way we’d planned.

At first, it felt like an adventure.

But gradually, self-doubt crept in.

Was this a mistake?
Had I ruined something for my child?
Why did everything feel so hard?

I became forgetful.
Decision-making felt impossible.
Life felt like too much.

What helped wasn’t fixing everything — it was stabilising enough to keep going.

• Building a social network, one small interaction at a time
  
• Learning the language, slowly reclaiming my competence
  
• Accepting my limits without giving up
  
• Remembering why we moved
  
• Allowing time to do what only time can do

You can read more about my story here. 

What Actually Helps Expat Overwhelm

Expat overwhelm isn’t permanent, but it does require support.

Create predictable routines

Biological rhythms matter: sleep, movement, food, daylight.

When the body feels safe, the mind can follow.

Build support intentionally

Community doesn’t happen accidentally abroad.

It’s built — awkwardly at first, then more naturally.

Adjust expectations

Your timeline is not someone else’s.

Pressure delays adjustment; self-compassion supports it.

Care for yourself on purpose

Even 20 minutes a day matters.
Especially at the beginning.

Small Steps, Big Changes 

Expat Overwhelm, interestingly, isn’t universal. Not every expat experiences it. 

Some people settle into their new lives without a problem. Why are they so lucky? What’s different about their experience? 

Partly, your temperament is to blame. Some people are just more adaptable than others. 

However, managing your expectations and building a supportive community will reduce your feelings of overwhelm when you arrive. 

Here are some practical tips that you can start implementing now. 

Find other expats

Join local expat facebook groups, show up at the goofy International Friends dinners and just get out there.

Keep a journal

This can be a daily diary, goal-setting or just getting all of your mean-girl thoughts out of your head.

I don’t mean spend hours a day on this task (unless you can, then do it!).

Simply jotting down your struggles from the day or musing on what you’re grateful for can help.

Engage with the locals 

Get amongst the quirky festivals, strange parades and odd celebrations of your new home.

You didn’t move here to lead the very same life you had at home!

The sooner you’re able to engage with and better understand how the locals view the world, the sooner you’ll start to feel at home.

Do what you loved at home here as well

Loved dancing at home? Keep it up! Did yoga daily? Don’t stop now. Whatever you did routinely at home, do it in your new home. Sure, I want you to engage with the locals but that doesn’t mean giving up what makes you, you.

A Note Before You Go 

Expat overwhelm is real — and it is common among capable, thoughtful women.

If this resonates, nothing has gone wrong.
You are responding normally to sustained change.

With support, structure, and time, a new sense of stability does emerge.

You don’t have to rush it.

Download my FREE Expat Family Starter Kit to help you get started.

Have you ever felt Expat Overwhelm? Share your experiences in the comments below. 

Emergency Support 

Online Support Services

1. My International Therapy

Self-described as “by expats, for expats”, this is a fantastic place to find support if you’re struggling with Expat Overwhelm. With the option of online or on-site consultations in Berlin available, you are able to seek out a professional who best matches you and your unique needs. 

2. It’s Complicated Platform
With the specific aim of connecting expats with English-speaking therapists (60 languages in all if English isn’t your Mother tongue), this online allows you to browse professionals with a wealth of experience, specialities and modalities to find your perfect match. Online and in-person session available, with practicing professionals based across Europe and the US. 

3. Mindler
An app-based platform offering online therapy sessions in many languages with professionals boasting experience in offering various forms of support, specifically for stress management, anxiety and depression.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

What is Expat Overwhelm?

Expat Overwhelm is a term used to incorporate feelings of anxiety, stress, fatigue and other symptoms that can be experienced after relocating to a new country. It may be triggered by challenges experienced due to language barrier, culture shock and feelings of homesickness. 

What are the symptoms of Expat Overwhelm?

Common symptoms of Expat Overwhelm are anxiety, forgetfulness, difficulty concentrating, frustration, fatigue, headaches and tummy troubles. 

How can I create a social network in my new home abroad? 

Joining expat groups in your new city, participating in community events and connecting with neighbours or other local people can quickly build your social network and reduce your feelings of loneliness and isolation. Facebook is a great resource for connecting with other expats in your city. 

I’m an expat and I’m overwhelmed. What should I do?

• Create a daily routine to give yourself predictability and stability. 
• Journal.
• Stay socially engaged. 
• Seek professional support if you can’t cope alone any longer. There’s strength in getting help. 

How long will it take before my new home feels like home?

This depends on so many personal factors that I can’t possibly predict your experience. Depending on your age, lifestyle, life experiences, expectations and barriers experienced in your new home, adjusting could take as little as a few months and as much as several years. Everyone’s different and every experience is unique. 

Can Expat Overwhelm effect my family, too?

Unfortunately, yes, it can effect everyone of every age. Your family members may themselves begin to feel overwhelmed or be negatively impacted by your feelings of overwhelm. It’s important to look after yourself and each other through this major life transition. 

Got more questions? Share them in the comments. 

Sources

https://expathealth.org/healthcare/expats-have-greater-risk-of-mental-health-issue

https://www.axaglobalhealthcare.com/en/wellbeing/emotional/top-expat-concerns

The post Expat Overwhelm: How to Overcome It appeared first on Professional Support for Families Relocating to Germany.

Featured in every post, their little lives digitally documented online, often before they’re old enough to say “yes” or “no”.

Don’t just survive your first 30 days in Germany, thrive.

The Expat Starter Kit for Germany includes a first-month planner, helpful phrases for appointments and where to find support in your early days in Germany.

Get your FREE Expat Starter Kit

On the other hand, you might have noticed a lack of photos of my kids in my content. Sure, I share stories from our lives, but you’ll never see them. 

My work, both as a coach here and as a Social Worker in the Child Protection and Family Support Space, is centred around supporting women in their roles as Mothers.

Having worked with families experiencing violence, addiction, mental health issues, homelessness and sexual abuse, I’ve learnt one thing:

ALL Mother’s are doing their best.  

And this is why the question of digital safety for kids is so important to me and my business. 

If you’re abroad with your kids, all you want to do is share the experiences they’re having. Those beaming smiles and the stunning backgrounds are worth sharing! And I understand why you’d want to.

I know what it feels like to want to shout your joy from the rooftops—to say, ‘Look! We’re doing it! We’re thriving abroad!’ That instinct is beautiful. I feel it too.

In this post, I want to share my reasons for not sharing my children’s images online and challenge you to start posting pictures of your children with clarity and intention. 

Family Is at the Heart of My Work

Breathe in Between grew out of my desire to support other women struggling to find their groove as Mothers abroad or as families on the go, wherever they are in the world. 

As a new parent living abroad, I struggled without my social network. It was awful. 

My mission is to support you to be the strongest, best parent you can be in your new home or on the road. 

But it’s not just from my personal experience that I draw my perspective in creating support programs for you. The foundation of Breathe in Between comes from my professional training and experience. 

My content combines my raw personal experiences with my professional tools like assessment frameworks, trauma-informed strategies, and an understanding of children’s rights—including their right to privacy.

I’m not just a Mom-blogger.

I am a professional and a Mother.

If you want to learn more about my motherhood journey abroad, check out this post.

Why I Don’t Share Photos of My Kids Online

When I was pregnant with my first (it feels like ancient history now!), I knew that this baby wouldn’t be shared online.

Why? I considered my job to protect their privacy as a protection of their future.

This decision goes beyond the (very real) risk of predators and straight to the question of a child’s rights, specifically a child’s right to privacy. 

Children have the right to choose.

They have the right to decide how their image and voice are used. Children have the right to say “no”, too. 

It is a child’s right to decide how their story is shared. Not ours. 

A relative once asked me if I was proud of my kids because I never post about them online. 

I was stunned! Of course I’m proud of them. I adore my children. 

There was a moment, spending a quiet afternoon in the Albanian Alps, when my children were swinging in a hand-crafted swing in the yard of our Air B&B with the soaring mountains behind them, when I instinctively reached for my phone.

I snapped the photo but I paused before sharing it online.

Not because it wasn’t beautiful—it was. But because I want those memories to be theirs, not part of my brand.

So, although my business is built on my experiences of being a parent abroad and on-the-road with my kids, it doesn’t mean they have to be shown in my business content. 

While this approach doesn’t fit for everyone, it’s what’s right for us. As I always say to my kids “Every family has different rules” and I respect parents’ right to choose.

My Content Celebrates Family but Without Faces

While you won’t see photos of my children in my content, the stories that I share from my parenting journey still revolve around them. 

My content is grounded in real experience and professional guidance. Whether you’re navigating bedtime routines in a new country or facing emotional overwhelm, I’ve been there—and I’m here to help.

Do I think photos of my kids would make my posts more relatable? Maybe. But they wouldn’t make them more valuable.

Instead of showing off my “why,” I want to help you reconnect with yours.

Why did you search for parenting support abroad? What are you hoping to feel more confident about today?

My two little “whys” are what fuel this work. But helping you feel more empowered in yours—that’s the reason I’m here.

What This Means for You and Your Family’s Story

So, why am I sharing this? Why, if it’s “no big deal”, am I dedicating a whole post to the topic? 

Because I know it’s unusual to see someone online, especially in the family space, without photos of their family. 

I also know that these questions are becoming more and more common for families as they navigate the new world of parenting online. 

You may still decide to post. That’s your right. But let it be an intentional act, not a default one.

For me, the answer has always been clear. My business, Breathe in Between, is mine. The choice to share my story was mine. But their story? That’s theirs. And protecting it—that’s my job.

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Sometimes sharing can connect us, celebrate growth, or help others feel less alone.

But when we pause, we give ourselves the chance to make that choice consciously.

Last Comments About Why I Don’t Post my Kids Online

This isn’t about fear. It’s about long-term respect. It’s about teaching my children that their story—and their boundaries—matter.

I’d love to hear how your family navigates this. Do you share images online? Have your thoughts changed over time?

Get your FREE Expat Start Kit to help you start your new life of your dreams from day one.

The post Why you won’t see my kids online (Hint: Privacy Matters) appeared first on Professional Support for Families Relocating to Germany.

Don’t just survive your first 30 days in Germany, thrive.

The Expat Starter Kit for Germany includes a first-month planner, helpful phrases for appointments and where to find support in your early days in Germany.

Get your FREE Expat Starter Kit

These thoughts raced through my mind as we sped down the runway, finally departing for our new life as a family in Germany.

After years of planning and months of being stalled, we were finally taking off, and I felt every bit of optimism, excitement, and hope fall away behind me.

Have I made the right decision?

It’s a question that still pops into my mind, even after four years of living abroad in Germany.

We don’t have crystal balls to show us both versions of our future. All we have are our values, our hopes, and the information available to us right now to make a decision that reflects the life we want.

If you’re asking yourself, “Should I move to Germany with my family?”, I’m here to help you make the best decision you can. This post offers you a structured process to support your decision-making process to ensure that your move matches your family’s needs and values. 

So grab a drink, a pen, and maybe even your partner. Let’s dive in.

Why Families Consider Moving to Germany

Germany is often seen as an ideal location for families considering a big move abroad, and it’s easy to see why. 

A few reasons are:

• World-class public healthcare and education.
  
• Subsidised childcare and generous parental leave allowances.
  
• Family-friendly cities, complete with playgrounds and green spaces.
  
• Work-life balance is at the core of German culture. While they work hard, they rest even harder.

Many families are drawn to Germany for professional opportunities, while others hope to connect with their own family and heritage. Whatever your reasons for considering a move to Germany, it’s a country well worth exploring for your family. 

Who, What, Where, When, How Long, and Why?

We’ll use these simple but powerful everyday questions to break down your decision-making process and guide your thinking. 

Considering this life-changing decision step-by-step will keep that rising overwhelm at bay and allow you to think critically, not just emotionally about whether Germany is a good fit for your family.  

Who Will Benefit from Moving Abroad?

List every family member on your sheet of paper. Then ask: who benefits, and how?

Maybe relocating to Germany is mainly for your career, or perhaps your partner is returning to their home. Maybe your children will gain language skills or build connections with members of the extended family. 

It’s ok if the perceived benefits of the move aren’t evenly distributed. What matters right now is simply knowing. 

Our natural instinct is to rank these benefits. Who will get the most out of the move? Who will lose from our move abroad? Is that fair? 

Stop. 

Avoid judging or ranking whose benefit matters most. 

In my own experience, I felt resentment early on—my family seemed to thrive while I struggled to find my footing. But over time, I realised we all benefited in different ways, at different times.

Read more about my Motherhood Journey in Germany. 

What Will Be Achieved?

It’s time to get crystal clear on your goals. What do you want to do in Germany, that can’t be done at home?

Here are a few prompts to help you with this step: 

• Do you want to deepen family connections with extended family in Germany/ your children/ your spouse?
  
• Are their career or study options, only available to you in Germany?
  
• Are you looking for a new adventure?
  

When things get hard in your new home (and they will), these goals will become your anchor. 

For my family, our “whats” were:

• Experiencing life in Germany, my husband’s home ✅
  
• Learning German (the children and me) ✅
  
• Nurturing relationships with members of our extended German family ✅

Four years in and we’ve checked every box.

This step will also help you see if you’re running away from your current life. Moving to Germany will not help anything that you want to run away from. A move to Germany with your family will not solve these problems. 

Where Will You Move?

Sure, you probably already have a city in mind. Even so, zoom in on the details and consider:

• Which neighbourhoods are family-friendly?
  
• Are there schools and kindergartens nearby? Are they bilingual or international schools?
  
• Is there an established community of expat families, with whom to build a solid expat support network? 

If you don’t know yet, that’s no problem. Start research now – join Facebook groups, look for local expat blogs, and read what other families have experienced. 

The more specific you are now, the easier it will be for you later. 

When Will You Move?

Is your deadline fixed or is the timeline more flexible? 

Think about:

• How long do you need to prepare the required paperwork and logistics?
  
• The best way to transition your children from their old school into the new.
  
• Whether you’ll travel Germany or Europe more broadly before settling down.
  
• When the new job in Germany starts and when your current lease ends. 

Having a clear timeline helps you feel grounded, even if things change. And they will change. 

We were packed and ready to move to Germany as a family in March 20202 . . . and then the Pandemic shut the world’s borders. 

Flexibility matters and it’s easier to be flexible when we have a plan in the first place. 

How Long Will You Live Abroad?

Is this a one-year adventure, or a long-term relocation? 

While considering if you should move to Germany with your family, get clear on your initial plan and as a family, agree to revisit it at regular intervals. 

You don’t have to have all the answers right now, but a shared understanding goes a long way to avoid conflict, disappointment and resentment later. 

Our original plan was to live in Germany as a family for 3 – 5 years. We’re four years in and are still figuring out what comes next. 

Get your FREE Expat Start Kit.

Why Are You Moving?

We have arrived at the heart of your decision. 

Your “why” might be different from your partner’s, and that’s ok. What matters is articulating your individual and shared purposes. Understanding each other’s why will deepen your understanding of each other and better support your relationship after the big move. 

Ask yourself: Why does this move make sense for me? For us? For our kids?

Try to go deeper than simply “for work” or “for a change”. Here are some prompts to help you dig deeper:

• Why is this opportunity in Germany worth the international move with my family?
  
• Why is this drastic change required or desired?
  
• Why am I drawn to Germany? 

Your “why” will be tightly linked to your personal values: what you want for your life, your relationship and your children. 

Because when challenges arise (and they will), you’ll need a strong “why” to keep pushing you forward to build the life of your dreams in Germany. 

Germany: A Family-Friendly Choice

Germany doesn’t just accommodate families, it actively supports them. 

Here are just a few examples of how:

• Childcare is typically very affordable and widely available to families.
  
• Education is free, all the way up to University level.
  
• Employees have strong protections and support, including generous leave policies.
  
• World-class healthcare is holistic, easily accessible and free.
  
• Public spaces, including playgrounds, greenspaces and city squares, are designed for families to enjoy together with other families. 

I’m not trying to paint an idealised picture of Germany. It isn’t the perfect place and life here can still be hard. But in my experience, the support provided for families can make a very real difference to the functioning of our family. 

Want to know more? Read this comprehensive guide from Expatica.com.

Challenges You Might Face (and How to Handle Them)

Moving abroad is never straightforward and often includes bumps in the road. 

You might experience:

• Frustratingly slow and complicated bureaucracy: In-person appointments for everything, minimal information and unhelpful staff.
  
• Language barriers: Particularly for official paperwork and communication with the school or Kindergarten.
  
• Culture shocks and confusions: What’s “normal” here? How to parent, the expected behaviour at school and work or the way people interact with one another socially.
  
• Loneliness and homesickness: Especially if you don’t have family nearby.
  

How to handle them:

• Be Prepared: Do your research and know what to expect when you arrive.
  
• Find Support: Before you move, join expat parenting communities or work with a relocation coach to plan your move and settlement phases with confidence.
  
• Stay Flexible: Expect the unexpected, stay flexible and know that adjusting to your new life will take time.
  
• Mindset Work: Remember your “why”. You’re building the life you’ve dreamt of and there will be challenging times ahead. Stay focused, remain calm and the rest will fall into place. 

Common Objections (and Why They’re Valid—But Solvable)

What if my kids don’t adjust?

Kids are incredibly resilient. With the right support and time, most kids will thrive in their new life. 

Talk with them, validate their feelings and always involve them in your planning. 

Let them have some control over their own changing life. 

Read my top tips for supporting your homesick kids.  

I’m worried about learning the language.

This is probably one of the main objections I hear! And I get it. Learning a language is hard, especially as an adult (I know, I’ve done it!). 

But remember: You don’t need to be fluent overnight. Start with key phrases, and consider online lessons. Many families arrive speaking little German and learn it gradually over time.

How necessary it is for you to speak German will depend on where you live and your field of work. This alone shouldn’t stop you from making the move if Germany really is your dream location. 

I’m afraid I’ll lose my support network.

Packing up and leaving our lives behind, including our beloved friends and family, is hard. In time,  you will build new connections with people who understand your new life. They’ll be by your side through the ups and downs of your new expat life. 

You won’t lose your old friendships but they will look different. Thank goodness we live in the digital age. Keeping in contact with your long-distance bestie has never been easier. 

Learn how to build your expat support network, even before you leave home. 

Head, Heart & Logistics: A Quick Decision Tool

Here’s a simple framework to reflect on your decision:

Head – Does this make logical, practical sense? 

Heart – Does this move feel aligned with your values and dreams? 

Logistics – Can we realistically make this happen?

Want help thinking through it? I created a free workbook you can download to walk through these questions with your partner.

? [Download the Family Move Decision-Making Workbook]

FAQ: Should I Move to Germany with My Family?

Is there an ideal age for kids to move?
Many say the younger, the better – but children of all ages can thrive when given the right support and tools to navigate their transition.

Do I need to know German before I go?
No. It helps, but it’s not essential. You can begin learning after you arrive, though having a few basics will ease your transition.

Can we afford it?
Germany can be very affordable, especially compared to other cities like London or New York City. Public Healthcare and Education reduce costs significantly. Watch this video from @usa.mom.in.germany for a great explanation.

What should I prepare before moving?

• Paperwork: visas, birth certificates, health insurance).
• Housing research.
• Building a basic support network online.

Decision Time

You’ve reflected, you’ve journaled and maybe you’ve even talked it through with your partner. 

But you’re still not 100% sure? That’s ok. 

There is no right or wrong answer – only the decision that is right for you and your family. 

Get curious, gather some more information, and trust yourself. Your gut is telling you what you need to do. 

Whether you decide to stay or relocate your family to Germany, you’re already so brave for even considering this huge step. 

And if you do decide to move?

Know that you don’t have to do it alone. I’m here to help.

Get my FREE Expat Family Starter Kit

You’ve got this.

The post Should I Move to Germany With My Family? How to Decide If It’s Right For You appeared first on Professional Support for Families Relocating to Germany.

You’ve made it. Your family packed up, survived the flights, and arrived safely in Germany.

Jetlag is still lingering. Your to-do list is growing by the minute.

Don’t just survive your first 30 days in Germany, thrive.

The Expat Starter Kit for Germany includes a first-month planner, helpful phrases for appointments and where to find support in your early days in Germany.

Get your FREE Expat Starter Kit

And then it hits you.

You’re in a new country, surrounded by unfamiliar faces, and you realise how much you need support. Not just practical help but people.

People who understand the emotional weight of starting over. Someone to help you make sense of systems that don’t work the way you’re used to. A friend who can sit with your homesickness without trying to fix it.

As a relocation coach and an expat mother living in Germany, I remember how alone I felt in those early months. I had never felt lonelier in my life.

Germany is a wonderful place to raise a family, but it’s also widely considered one of the hardest countries for expats to settle into. When you’re parenting at the same time, the feeling of struggle increases rapidly.

This post explores why support networks matter so much in Germany, how to start building one, and where to look, even if your German isn’t strong yet.

These are the tips I wish I’d had when I first arrived.

1. Why a Support Network Matters Even More in Germany

Moving abroad with children is one of the most exciting decisions a family can make. It is also emotionally demanding.

You’re navigating:

• unfamiliar bureaucracy
  
• a new language
  
• different social norms
  
• and the responsibility of keeping your children emotionally steady while you’re still finding your feet
  

In Germany, this can feel particularly intense.

Research consistently shows that Germany ranks low in terms of expat ease of settling in, particularly in regards to social integration and feeling welcome. Many expats report strong systems, but weak social connections.

Without a support network, even small challenges can feel overwhelming.

When your child is sick, who helps you understand the advice from the Kinderarzt? Who herpes you decode the dense language in the letters from school? And when you feel that familiar pang of homesickness, who sits with you?

Loneliness isn’t just uncomfortable; it has real consequences. Research links ongoing loneliness to increased stress, poorer mental health, and physical health impacts. The strongest protective factor? The quality of our social relationships.

You were never meant to do this alone.

2. Start Connecting Before You Arrive 

This often surprises families, but some of the most stabilising connections can begin before you’ve even landed.

Before we moved to Dresden, I started quietly reaching out to other expat parents online. I didn’t make instant friends, but I gathered familiarity. Names. Faces. A sense of what mattered locally.

Helpful places to start:

• Facebook groups for international families in your future city
  
• Groups like:
  
  • “International Families [City]”
    
  • “English-Speaking Parents in Germany”
    
  • “[Your nationality] in Germany”
    
• Meetup.com for family-friendly or interest-based groups
  

You can also ask your existing network for introductions. Many expat parents are happy to meet “a friend of a friend” because they remember exactly what those first months felt like.You don’t need to be outgoing. You just need to be open.

3. Where to Find Your Community in Germany (Without Needing German!) 

The language barrier can be overwhelming when you first arrive, but it doesn’t have to stop you from building your expat network. 

Some of the most accessible places to connect include:

• Local expat or international parent groups
  
• International schools and bilingual kindergartens
  
• Libraries, which often host children’s activities and events
  
• Sports clubs or Vereine: incredibly common in Germany and often more welcoming than expected.
  

When I first arrived, playgrounds felt terrifying. I worried constantly about saying the wrong thing or nothing at all.

So I started small. A smile, sometimes a wave or a simple “hello”.

Every connection counts.

4. Making Friends as an Adult (When You’re Already Tired)

Let’s be honest: making friends as an adult is hard. Doing it in another language? It can feel impossible.

I remember visiting a different playground every day with my daughter, my heart racing every time another parent looked my way.

“What if they don’t speak English?” I worried.

Slowly, watching my child connect without hesitation helped me loosen my grip on perfection. I followed her lead.

Simple conversation starters work:

• “We’ve just moved here — do you come here often?”
  
• “Our kids seem about the same age.”
  
• “Do you know any good places to go with children around here?”
  

These conversations don’t need to be deep. They just need to be human.

5. Practical Support: Childcare, Help, and Everyday Relief

Support networks aren’t only emotional. They can be practical too.

In Germany, helpful resources include:

• Expat Facebook groups for babysitter and cleaner recommendations
  
• Betreut.de for childcare and household help
  
• Local platforms like Kietzee (city-specific)
  

Even a few hours of help a week can dramatically change how settled you feel.

Support sometimes buys you breathing room.

6. Online Support for the Tougher Times 

Some days, in-person connection feels like too much.

Online support can bridge the gap:

• Parenting-abroad Facebook groups
  
• Online therapy platforms (international or Germany-based)
  
• Group coaching or workshops focused on expat adjustment
  

These spaces can offer understanding without explanation, especially when language or energy is limited.

7. What If I Don’t Live In a City? 

If you’re not in Berlin, Munich, or Hamburg, this part matters.

Dresden, for example, has one of the lowest proportions of residents with an international background in Germany. That doesn’t make connection impossible, but it does mean you need to be more intentional.

Ideas that help:

• Starting a small WhatsApp group at school or Kita
  
• Joining groups in nearby cities
  
• Becoming the initiator instead of waiting to be invited
  

Sometimes, you don’t just find community, you create it.

You Deserve a Village — Even Here

Settling into life in Germany isn’t just about paperwork.

It’s about belonging.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure where to begin, you’re not failing. You’re human.

Get your FREE Expat Starter Kit to give you the best chance to thrive in your new life abroad.

You don’t have to do this alone.

Let’s build the dream life abroad where you don’t just survive. You thrive.

Sources 

* Domènech-Abella and colleagues (2023) explored over 100 studies and found that loneliness is most closely linked to the quality of our relationships, living situation, and mental and physical health—not just age or gender. Read the Domènech-Abella and colleagues literature review. 

** InterNations (2023) conducted a survey of expats worldwide and concluded that expats in Germany are among the least happy in the world. Read the 2023 InterNations expat happiness report for Germany.

*** Data from 2023 shows that close to 30% of people residing in Germany have migration background (full report here), while data from 2024 indicates that around 12% of Dresden residents have migration background (full report here). 

The post Why You Need an Expat Support Network in Germany (and how to build one!) appeared first on Professional Support for Families Relocating to Germany.

At the airport, with my passport in hand, tears in my eyes and my baby in my arms, I wondered, “Have we made the right decision?”. I suddenly questioned if what we’d decided to do was, in fact, the right decision.

My confidence was already wavering. 

Was I really going to drag my daughter to the other side of the world? Was this what I really wanted?

Today, after more than five years living in Germany, I can say that the decision was right, even if at the beginning it felt anything but. 

Like most families preparing for an international move, we planned carefully.
The packing. The visas. The logistics. The research into work, childcare, and life abroad.

What I didn’t fully plan for was how deeply the move would change me.

Not just as a professional. Not just as a partner. But as a mother finding her footing in unfamiliar ground.

This is my story about moving to Germany but reallyit could be your story. It’s a story about what happens inside a family when everything familiar disappears at once.

If you’re planning a move, or already navigating life abroad with children, I hope this helps you see what’s normal, what’s hard, and why none of it means that you’ve failed. 

Why We Chose Germany (and the Weight of Wanting to “Get It Right”) 

TGermany wasn’t a random choice for us.
It was carefully considered — professionally, practically, and financially.

We believed it would offer opportunity, stability, and a rich cultural experience for our family. And in many ways, it has.

But looking back, I can see how much pressure I placed on myself to make it work.

Not just the country.
Not just the logistics.
But motherhood itself — as if choosing to move meant I had to prove it was worth the disruption.

That quiet pressure followed me long after we arrived.

The Reality of Expat Motherhood: When Everything Familiar Is Gone

I expected the move to be hard. Like, really hard. If nothing else, I accepted that learning a new language would be a tough starting point. 

What I didn’t expect was how disorienting it would feel to have all of my markers of independence disappear overnight. 

Those early days were lonely. Caring for my daughter while my husband worked was lonely. Every day needed me to be brave, even the unremarkable ones. 

I missed my friends. I grieved the ease of the familiar. And underneath it all was guilt. I felt guilty for choosing this life for us and couldn’t stop asking the question “Did I make the right decision?”

I began questioning myself constantly.

Had we made a mistake?

Don’t just survive your first 30 days in Germany, thrive.

The Expat Starter Kit for Germany includes a first-month planner, helpful phrases for appointments and where to find support in your early days in Germany.

Get your FREE Expat Starter Kit

Had I made a mistake thinking I could parent abroad when I was still learning how to parent at all?

On top of these confidence crushing questions came the logistics of day-to-day life: finding an apartment, navigating systems I didn’t understand, attending appointments in a language I couldn’t yet speak, all the while wondering “when will this get easier?”. 

I didn’t recognise myself anymore.

I felt like I had transformed from being a capable, confident woman to a child needing support to achieve even the most basic tasks. 

This wasn’t the expat motherhood journey I thought I’d signed up for.

My identity felt shaken, and learning how to be a mother at the same time only intensified that feeling.

If you’re reading this and nodding your head, just know—you’re not alone. I see you. I’ve been there.

Identity Loss After Moving Abroad (Why This Is Normal)

If you recognise yourself in this experience, then I want you to know that:

You’re not alone and there is nothing wrong with you.

This is what ongoing change does to us (yes, even you). 

So much of adult confidence is built on familiarity:

• knowing how systems work
  
• understanding social cues
  
• trusting your instincts
  

When those disappear, self-doubt often follows. Transition is hard, but when everything you’ve ever known has changed, it’s even harder. 

Add motherhood into the mix, and the emotional load multiplies.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and looking for extra support, read my Guide to Overcoming Expat Overwhelm.

When Your Child Adapts Faster Than You

One of the hardest moments for me came when my daughter started daycare.

She cried at drop-off and tears flowed freely from my eyes as I left the daycare centre.

I felt like a failure and I couldn’t even explain why. 

But then, just like that, she adjusted.

She learned the language faster than I did (it’s so easy for kids!). Friends were made and her confidence grew and grew. 

Watching her taught me something that I’d always known in theory, but hadn’t yet experienced:

Learning is not a failure. It is the work.

Finding Stability Abroad: Not by Fixing, but by Understanding

What helped me wasn’t pushing harder or trying to “be more resilient.”

It was understanding what prolonged change actually does to a nervous system — especially when you’re responsible for supporting children through it too.

Slowly, I stopped interpreting discomfort as a sign I’d made the wrong decision.

I started seeing it as information.

That shift changed everything.

Who I Am Now (and What This Season Gave Me)

I still live abroad and yes, it’s still hard sometimes. 

I’m not sure if that feeling will ever go away but it no longer makes me question my entire identity. 

Instead, I lean into the confidence I’ve built over the last five years and trust myself to keep learning. To keep going. Because that’s what has got me this far. 

This season taught me:

• patience
  
• humility
  
• emotional flexibility
  
• and a deeper understanding of what families actually need during transition

Lessons from my Expat Motherhood Journey

Here are the top 5 things I’ve learned from being a Mother abroad that might help you through this challenging journey.  

1. You don’t have to do it alone — It takes a village to raise a child. You just have to find yours now. Meeting other Mums, even the German ones, is empowering. This, above all, is the lesson I hope you can take from my writing today.
   
2. Knowledge is power — The bureaucracy might feel overwhelming right now, but with the right support, you will be able to do it all. The first time I could attend an appointment alone and got it right was the day I knew I’d made it.
   
3. Motherhood can expand, not shrink, abroad — It’s a blessing and not a shame to grow with your children. You don’t have to have it all figured out yet. There’s a unique bond that comes with discovering life with your children, not simply showing it to them.
   
4. We all feel lost sometimes — And it’s ok! That’s where powerful change happens. But don’t let yourself stay in that dark place for too long – lost is best visited and quickly left behind. Whenever I feel like that, I try to remember that sinking in the swamp of confusion won’t change my situation but being curious about it will.
   
5. The life you want abroad won’t build itself — But you can build it, one intentional step after the next. No matter how small that first step is, it’s a step in the right direction. This is your life, so make it one to be proud of!

And always remember that it takes time. You need time to adjust, learn and to start building the life of your dreams. 

If You’re Navigating an International Move With Children

If you’re in the middle of an international move, or preparing for one, you don’t have to rely on instinct alone.

I’ve created a free Expat Starter Kit to help families understand the emotional, practical, and relational shifts that come with relocation. Especially in the early months.

Download the Free Family Relocation Guide to Germany.

You’re not behind.

You’re not doing it wrong.

You’re in transition. 

The post My Chaotic Expat Motherhood Journey: From Lost to Thriving appeared first on Professional Support for Families Relocating to Germany.

Parenting is rough. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying.

But raising your child bilingually? That’s a whole new level of what on earth am I doing here?!

Don’t just survive your first 30 days in Germany, thrive.

The Expat Starter Kit for Germany includes a first-month planner, helpful phrases for appointments and where to find support in your early days in Germany.

Get your FREE Expat Starter Kit

When my family moved to Germany, my daughter effortlessly absorbed the language around her. I… well, let’s just say I’m still working on it.

The downside? I spent a lot of time trying to figure out if she’d just said something in English, German, or was that toddler-speak?

“What did you say, honey?”

“Was that English or German?”

“Can you show me what you mean?”

That was me, on repeat.

Sometimes funny, often bewildering, and occasionally overwhelming. If you’re navigating this too—wondering “how the heck do I do this?”—you’re in the right place.

Here are five unexpected challenges of raising bilingual children abroad, along with practical strategies, reassurance, and encouragement for the days it feels impossible.

1. The Bilingual Decision

For many mixed-heritage or expat families, choosing to raise bilingual children feels like the obvious choice.

You want them to connect with both sides of the family, to feel at home in multiple places, and maybe even to gain a little cognitive edge along the way.

Research suggests that bilingualism can support creativity, problem-solving, and adaptability. But newer studies show the real benefits depend less on the number of languages spoken and more on the quality and consistency of exposure.

For us, the decision was clear. Our children would grow up bilingual. That’s the main reason that we moved to Germany.

The tricky part? Only my husband was fluent in both languages. I wasn’t. Now, five years later, both children are well on their way to becoming bilingual, but the journey hasn’t been smooth.

What helps:

• Set clear language boundaries. The One Parent – One Language (OPOL) approach helps children distinguish which words belong to which language. It won’t prevent muddled sentences, but it gives them a strong foundation.
  
  
• Stay flexible. Life changes. Schools, friends, environments and your routines sometimes need to shift. Inconsistency and chaos sometimes won’t harm your child’s learning.
  
  
• Be kind to yourself. Bilingual parenting is not a contest; it’s a long-term commitment that takes patience and grace. Someone once wrote, “It’s easy to raise bilingual children, but hard to raise bilingual adults.” That truth has kept me grounded through the tough phases.

2. Keeping the “Other” Language Alive

Once the decision is made, reality sets in.

How do you keep the “other” language from fading away? Let me know in the comments.

In most bilingual families, one language dominates daily life. For us, that’s German.

Children learn languages through immersion and repetition. When one language fills school, playdates, and social life, the other can easily fade without deliberate effort.

Linguist François Grosjean found that children need at least 30% of their overall language exposure in each language to maintain balance. That’s a tall order for parents, especially when you’re not the fluent one.

Over time, we started slipping into Denglish, a confusing blend of Deutsch and English. Now that we all understand both languages, the rules blur.

When my kids ask for their favourite German bedtime story, I hesitate. Do I say no and insist on English, or do I let it go? These tiny daily choices are the real heart of bilingual parenting.

What helps:

• Create a language-rich environment. Surround your child with stories, songs, TV shows, and audiobooks in the less-used language. Exposure counts.
  
  
• Build your bilingual village. Connect with families who share your language, online or locally. Kids are more motivated to use a language when they see peers using it too.
  
  
• Use everyday routines. Our of our favourite rituals is two bedtime stories – one in English, one in German. Now that my eldest is learning to read, she practices both languages, one bedtime at a time.
  
  

How do you keep your “other” language alive at home? Share your ideas below to inspire other families (and me!).

3. Muddled Sentences (aka “Denglish” in Our House)

Even fluent adults mix up languages sometimes, so imagine how confusing it must be for little ones still learning to speak!

In our home, we joke that we’re fluent in Denglish. It’s cute, but constant code-switching (switching between languages) can make it tricky for kids to keep each language separate.

That said, research shows that this “mixing” is perfectly normal. It doesn’t mean your child is confused. It’s a sign of linguistic flexibility and is actually a strength.

Still, when both parents understand both languages, maintaining clean separation can be tiring. My brain often feels like it’s running in two operating systems at once.

We also naturally use German for certain words, like Kita (daycare), because that’s how life works here.

Sometimes I even forget the English term for something we use every day. It’s not failure—it’s fluency evolving.

What helps:

• Model, don’t correct. When your child mixes languages, simply repeat their sentence back in one language. Their brain will sort it out in time.
  
  
• Care for yourself. Switching languages constantly takes mental energy. Rest and self-compassion are part of good bilingual parenting.
  
  
• Keep humor close. We often laugh when “Mummy forgets how to talk.” Laughter keeps bilingual life lighthearted, even when it’s chaotic.
  
  

4. Feeling Alienated When You Don’t Understand Your Own Child

This one hurts the most. When your child starts speaking in a language you don’t fully understand, it can feel like you’re losing a piece of connection with them.

Between ages two and four, many bilingual kids switch languages mid-sentence. You might find yourself smiling politely, unsure what was just said, and feeling a pang of helplessness or frustration.

Psychologists note that these language gaps can make parents feel isolated or even inadequate. And that is no surprise if you’re riding this rollercoaster. It’s definitely not something you need on top of experiencing expat overwhelm or homesickness!

But here’s the good news: emotional connection matters more than perfect comprehension.

Sometimes my daughter would speak a full sentence in German, and I’d have no idea what she’d just said. So, I’d make it playful: “Can you show me what you mean?” or “Let’s act it out.” The moment we laughed together, our frustration faded.

When I was learning German, I even read her German picture books. It was painful and slow but she loved it. That connection mattered more than accuracy.

What helps:

• Lower your expectations. Misunderstandings are normal. Your child’s brain is building two systems for every word they learn. That’s extraordinary.
  
  
• Stay playful. Turn communication challenges into games. Play charades, make gestures, or drawing.
  
  
• Prioritize love over language. Whether you understand every word or not, your bond comes first.
  
  

Have you ever felt left out of your child’s bilingual world? How did you reconnect?

5. Bilingual Doesn’t Mean Bicultural

Language is one part of our identity, but it’s not the whole picture. Raising bilingual children doesn’t automatically make them bicultural.

Culture seeps in through humor, food, holidays, and the rhythm of community life. Without ongoing exposure, those layers can fade. It might even trigger feelings of homesickness in your child (if they remember their “other home”).

Cross-cultural studies show that children familiar with multiple cultures often develop strong empathy and adaptability, but they may also wrestle with belonging. Many become third-culture kids—at home everywhere, yet not fully from any one place.

For us, this plays out every Christmas. My children associate the holiday with snow, Advent markets, and traditions typical in Dresden. For me, Christmas means Summer, beach, seafood and being outside. It’s a fascinating bridge we build together every year.

What helps:

• Know your cultural non-negotiables. Decide which traditions, values, or stories you want to keep alive.
  
  
• Bring culture to life. Don’t just tell them—show them. Cook familiar foods, play music from home, and share photos and memories.
  
  
• Celebrate their hybrid identity. Your child doesn’t have to choose one side or the other. Their blended worldview is a strength worth celebrating.
  
  

So… Is It Worth It?

Absolutely.

Yes, it’s confusing. Yes, it’s exhausting. And yes, some days it feels like you’re failing in two languages instead of one.

But then you see your child tell their grandparents about school, in both languages or laugh at jokes in Sesame Street and Sesamstraße alike, and you realize the gift you’ve given them is immense.

Learning German while raising kids here has been one of the hardest, most humbling experiences of my life (and yes, I ugly cried a lot). But watching my children navigate two languages, two worlds, and two ways of seeing life? It’s pure magic.

Raising bilingual children is a marathon, not a sprint. You won’t always get it right, because life is hard.

If you win more than you fail, you’re doing great. Stay flexible, stay connected, and keep love at the center of it all.

Let’s Keep the Conversation Going

Have you faced these bilingual parenting challenges too?

What’s worked (or hasn’t) in your family?

Share your story below—I’d love to hear from you.

Get your FREE Expat Starter Kit. It’s filled with tips and tools to help you thrive from day one in your new international home.

Resources

1. Grosjean, François. Bilingual: Life and Reality (Harvard University Press, 2010).
   
2. Meisel, J. M. (2019). Early Bilingual Development: Cognitive and Linguistic Factors.
   
3. Paradis, J., Genesee, F., & Crago, M. (2010). Dual Language Development and Disorders.
   
4. APA. “Family Communication and Emotional Connection in Multilingual Homes.” 2022.
   
5. Pollock, D. C., & Van Reken, R. E. (2009). Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds.
   

The post 5 Unexpected Challenges of Raising Bilingual Children (& How to Handle Them) appeared first on Professional Support for Families Relocating to Germany.

Am I a Grinch? No. I just really miss my Christmas traditions. 

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I’m a homesick parent abroad, doing my best to give my kids the magic of Christmas but fighting my own battle at the same time.

If you’re feeling homesick as a parent abroad, read on for my 7 Tips to get you moving confidently into your new life. 

So, what is homesickness? 

In short, the feeling of homesickness is the result of stressors related to being away from home. 

Homesickness is typically believed to show itself in any of these four levels:

Emotional: feelings of longing for the familiar or the loss of home. 

Cognitive: being preoccupied or distracted by thoughts of home or people we miss.

Social: withdrawal and avoiding contact with people in your new city. 

Bodily: the loss of weight, for example.

Shirley Fisher, in her landmark study, hypothesised that individuals who have moved from a familiar home environment to a new one experience a period of loss of control. She suggests that for a time after the move, an individual will be helpless as they come to grips with their new surroundings. 

Others have described homesickness is the result of a person’s changing role when they arrive in their new location. It has also been described as the result of interruption that we experience by relocating. 

Despite the anecdotal prevalence of homesickness among foreign families, homesickness is not diagnosable. It is not defined medically as a syndrome or disorder. 

It is, therefore, possible to experience one or more symptom of what we generally regard to be homesickness, which present no real cause. 

Anxiety, depression and overwhelm have been reported to be common experiences of people as they attempt to build their new life in a new environment. 

If you are struggling with any of these things, please seek medical support immediately!

My Tips are for educational purposes only.

It’s interesting to note that the majority of research into homesickness has been conducted on the impact of separation from home on children. Not on adults. 

While some insight from this research can be applied to our experiences as homesick parents abroad, I’m drawing on a combination of this literature, my professional knowledge of parents and my own experience of homesickness. 

Feeling homesick as a parent abroad is different for everyone 

Do not compare your feelings to your partner or other families. 

It is entirely unique. 

Like your family, your experience of moving abroad is unique. Everything that it takes to pack up a life in one place and rebuild it in another will be individual to your family’s circumstances. 

What you miss about home might be different to your partner. 

You might never experience feeling homesick as a parent abroad! 

For me, the feeling of homesickness comes in waves. Sometimes several weeks or months will pass without experiencing any pangs of longing for home.

But then suddenly it comes. 

And I have to admit that the longer I’m away, the less often I suffer from homesickness.   

TO BE CLEAR.

Underscoring every one of my seven tips for you is one thing:

Be kind to yourself.

Whether you’ve moved for work or family reasons, your experience on the other side of this adventure probably won’t be what you expected.

And different does NOT mean bad!

But moving abroad is never a smooth process. Building a new life is never linear. 

So when you’re really in the trenches of feeling homesick as a parent abroad, remember this:

You would never be unkind to your best friend who felt homesick. 

So show yourself the same compassion and take this adventure step-by-step. 

If your child is experiencing homesickness, read my top tips to support them.

My 7 Tips

(and bonus reflection activities)

I’ve created these tips for you to take and use immediately. 

The mini-reflections at the end of each tip have been designed to encourage you to take proactive steps to manage feeling homesick as a parent abroad. 

Take one or take them all. 

No matter what kind of homesickness you’re experiencing, I know that something here will offer you the control you need to have over your own life. 

Now get a pen and paper! It’s time to read and jot down some of your own ideas. 

 1. Give yourself permission to rest  

I know. I know. You have to do it all and you have to do it now. 

“Who’ll get it all done if I take a break?”, I hear you saying.  

But who will get it all done if you break? 

Feeling homesick needs to be treated as any other sickness, with rest, kindness and love. 

Feeling homesick might be a fleeting feeling of longing for something from home. 

Maybe a familiar scent in the air reminds you of your grandmother’s garden. 

But it can also be a significant stress on your body. 

There is evidence to suggest that the feeling of homesickness may be a similar process to that of grief. 

If you’re carrying this burden around without rest, you will burn out.

Don’t forget that this is in addition to everything you’re already carrying: the mental and physical load of parenting and the emotional upheaval of building a life in a foreign country.

But you already know that. 

Your family needs you. 

Most importantly, you deserve to be well. 

Take the pressure off yourself as much as you can. 

Give yourself space to feel what you’re feeling. 

It is ok to miss home, its familiarity and your people. 

You’ll regain your emotional and physical strength and then you can get back in the ring to be the amazing parent you know you are. 

But for now, just rest. 

Activity Time

Using my list below, write down one thing that you can do TODAY to help you rest, relax and reset. 

Here are a few of my favourite ways to rest when I just don’t have time!

• Box breathing: Breathe in through your nose for four seconds, hold it for 4 seconds and breathe out through your mouth for four seconds.
  
• Stretching:  If you don’t have the time or motivation for a full yoga session, come back into your body easily by simply stretching up tall for a few seconds. The more often you can work this into your day, the better. 
  
• Podcasts that have nothing to do with my life: when I can, I love listening to History podcasts about the ancient world. Why? It reminds me that the world will always change. It’s also nice not to think about my own life for a bit.
  

2. Focus on what is in your Control

Sometimes, the feeling of homesickness as a parent abroad can stem from feeling out of control.

In a foreign environment, we can lose our sense of autonomy. 

Maybe you don’t yet speak the local language. 

Perhaps you’re adjusting to changed work opportunities in your new home. 

Or your relationship dynamic has shifted since the move. 

These were the three things that gave me sharp pangs of homesickness nearly daily in the first year of living abroad. 

I felt hopeless and like nothing was within my power. 

We can’t change everything, but we can start by focusing on what’s in our control. 

Activity Time

Write down five things you can do TODAY to change increase your sense of control over your own situation. 

These things might include:

• Completing these reflective exercises.
  
• Sharing my feelings with my partner.
  
• Calling someone from home and sharing your struggles with them.
  
• Speaking with my children onlyin our native language.
  
• Cooking my favourite food from home.
  
• Watch something from home, read a book or listen to a podcast from home.
  
• Start a conversation with another parent at school or childcare.
  
• Join a Facebook group for international families/ mothers/ women/ professionals in your new city.
  
• Investigate local gyms/ yoga studios/ sport teams that interest me. 
  

Commit to doing these five things TODAY.

3. Create Routine  

As a parent, you already know this. 

Routine is everything. 

The household just works when everyone knows what to expect. 

And the science backs this up! 

Our brains need predictability. 

The more routine we have in our lives, the more energy our brains have for devoting to solving life’s problems, being creative or just being. 

But moving house, especially abroad, changes the rhythm of our family for a while. 

Be patient with yourselves as you settle into your new home and new life. 

As soon as you can, set a daily routine for your family. 

The aim is not to be controlling or to cancel any fun or spontaneity. Instead, having a routine will give you more energy, because things will just work. 

Parenting is hard. Juggling work and family is exhausting. 

Living abroad with kids? It is next level! 

Every day requires you to be courageous and humble, while constantly learning.

So, set a routine. Let the daily stuff roll so that you can use your energy conquer every new challenge.

And don’t forget to add rest time to your routines! 

Activity Time

• Write down 10 things that must happen in your home every day. 
  
• Put them in order.
  
• Use this list as a prompt to help you establish routines in your home. 

4. Schedule contact with home

While you’re busy putting together your new routine, don’t forget to include times to contact home. 

Anecdotally, I’ve heard mixed stories about the benefits of contacting home while we’re feeling homesick.

For me, hearing the voice of a loved one always grounds me. I finish our conversation feeling more confident and ready to take on any challenge. 

I feel like me again. 

For others, I’ve heard that contact with home has the exact opposite effect on them. 

You know what’s best for you and your family. 

If being in regular contact with home helps, then do it. 

Sometimes knowing that you’ll see your best friend or closest family member in a few days on a video call might just get you through those tough days in between. 

Like much of living abroad, this might be a case of trial and error. 

Test out different way to communicate, and different times of the day or week to see what serves you and your family. 

Activity Time

• Name the top three emotions you’re experiencing right now. 
  
• Think of the person or people in your life who can best support these feelings. 
  
• Schedule a time to speak with them. Messenger and WhatsApp are convenient, but sometimes a conversation is better.
  

For example:

“I am feeling lost and directionless. My best friend will remind me of my why and what my skills are. I’ll call her next week.” 

5. Connect with the international community in your city

Most cities will have an international community hiding among the locals.

Find them.

This community may include folk from all over the world or it might be people from your home country. 

In my experience, I’ve had the good fortune to experience both: connection with other foreign Mothers from all over the world and those from my home. 

I’ve learnt so much from both about life, parenting and feeling homesick as a parent abroad. 

These people do not need to become your lifelong besties. But they might. 

In my experience, connecting with the international community can: 

• Offer emotional and social support when I’m struggling with homesickness;
  
• be a priceless source of local knowledge for everything from where to buy children’s clothes to how the transport system works;
  
• allow you to build a network, socially and professionally;
  
• have family meet-ups or parent groups where your native language is spoken. 

If nothing else, these groups allow you to meet other people who are going through the same thing as you.

Feeling homesick as a parent abroad can be so lonely but you don’t need to do it alone. 

Activity Time

• Search Facebook for local groups and join them. Try searching “International Families in [your city]” and see what you find. 
• Your choice: Introduce yourself to the group or ask a question. Just make a connection!

6. Share your struggles with other Mums

Now that you’ve found other international families, it’s time to open up. 

Yes. It’s hard! And it will take time. 

Living in a foreign country means you have to be brave every day. I get it. I’m living it too.

But here’s the thing:

A worry shared is a worry halved. 

A joy shared is a joy doubled. 

I know you already know this, deep down. 

You also know that other mums get it. 

They understand the pressures of parenting and the juggle of work and family. 

These women also understand the exact challenges that you’re experiencing in your new home. The way locals interact with one another, their approach to parenting, the bureaucracy. They get it because they’ve struggled too. 

So be open. Share your struggles and your wins. 

You don’t have to do this alone. 

Activity Time 

• Name a parent you’ve met in your new home. 
  
• Stop comparing your experience to theirs. They’re just at a different stage of their journey! 
  
• Reach out to them. Make a date for coffee or schedule a play date for your kids.
  

7. Don’t hide it from your Kids 

This one might seem counterintuitive, but hear me out. 

Hiding how we’re feeling is exhausting. 

AND we know that children learn how to manage their big, challenging feelings by watching us do it. 

So. 

What if we could save energy AND model effective management of being homesick? 

Let’s try to normalise the challenge of living away from home. 

In our household, we refer to Germany as our “now home” and Australia as our “other home”. 

At Christmas time, when I feel the most homesick as a parent abroad, my girls know that I miss how we do Christmas in our other home. 

For me, these feelings show themselves as general grumpiness, increased complaining about the weather (grey, dark and cold – the opposite of an Australian Christmas) and an increased need to have things from Australia. 

The kids can see my actions and hear my words. Both of them know something is wrong. 

So I name it for them. 

“I feel homesick.” 

“I’m sorry. I just miss our other home at the moment.”

“Christmas is such an important time for family. I miss our family in our other home.”

It doesn’t have to be complicated. 

These simple statements let them know what’s going on for me. They also learn that it is ok to not be ok sometimes. 

I’ve also given them a vocabulary to name these feelings and describe them when they experience being homesick in the future.

Activity Time

This is the time, if you haven’t already, to reflect on your own experience of being homesick as a parent abroad. 

It is not a time for judgement or comparison. 

• Write down how your homesickness shows itself. Are you snappish, distant or unusually disorganised?
  
• State how this impacts you as a parent. For example, “Being snappish makes me feel guilty for not listening to my kids.”
  
• Write down a one sentence explanation for why you’ve been like this. For example, “I’m sorry I’m grumpy and not listening to you today. I just really miss our other home today and it’s hard for me to concentrate.”
  
• When you’re ready and the opportunity presents itself, use your sentence with your kids.
  

More Tips to Help You Settle In

But they aren’t everything you need. 

These seven tips are what you need to start managing feeling homesick as a parent abroad.

Much of what makes us homesick is the difference in our new home compared to our real home. Navigating these culture shocks will take time, energy and patience. 

Some things to think about later on are:

• Learning the local language If you’re living in a country where your native language is not the everyday language, learning it will rapidly increase your capacity to be self-reliant and reduce your social isolation.
  
• Remain open-minded Different is not bad. It’s just, different. When we’re homesick, it’s easier to focus on the differences but focussing on the similarities will help you better manage your homesickness. 
  
• Parenting looks different Turn all judgement and comparison off! There will be a difference between how you parent your child and how it is typically done in your new home. You’re not doing anything wrong by being different. 
  
• Be curious and respectful It’s ok to ask questions! Ask locals how and why they do things the way they do them. But do it respectfully. And remain respectful when locals ask you about your way of life. They’re just curious, too. 
  

Summary

Feeling homesick as a parent abroad should be taken seriously. It has the potential to have a significantly negative impact on you and your family.

Homesickness can show itself in emotionally, cognitively, socially and physically.

Seek professional support if you are struggling with feelings of anxiety or depression.

This post is not medical advice.

By taking the steps I’ve outlined in this post, you will have regained some clarity and control over your own life. 

Remember, this isn’t a linear process. Adjusting to your new life will take time and there’s nothing wrong with that. 

Come back to these tips anytime and repeat the activities. You might be surprised to find that your answers to the questions change over time, as you adjust to your new life. 

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RESOURCES 

This topic is so huge that I can’t possibly cover it all! 

If you’re struggling to adjust to your new home, experiencing feelings of overwhelm, anxiety or depression, please seek professional help. 

Online resources include:

• Headspace: an app full of articles and resources. It also has specific support to assist with anxiety and sleep problems. There is a subscription option, offering additional benefits. 
  
• Betterhelp: an app with the option to connect with a professional for mental health support. This is subscription-based but may be an excellent choice if finding talk-therapy in your language is difficult in your current home. 

If you’d like to read more of the studies I referred to earlier: 

• Here is the article I found the most useful to get a handle on the body of research.
  
• You can purchase Shirley Fisher’s groundbreaking book Homesickness, Cognition and Health. 
  

Have you dealt with feeling homesick while parenting abroad? Share your experiences and tips in the comments below!  

The post Parents get homesick too! 7 Tips to overcome homesickness appeared first on Professional Support for Families Relocating to Germany.

I had no concept that there were different languages. 

Dressing up as an artist for the school dress-up day, I wore a beret and even had a little easel of cardboard to carry.   

Because the clothes were better than what I thought a writer would wear.

A writer is what I wanted to be. 

As far back as I can remember, I wanted to explore the world. 

To understand. 

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This is the point in my story where I should probably tell you that I still don’t understand everything. 

Sadly, I haven’t learnt every word in the world yet, either. But I have learnt German, so I’m closer to my goal. 

I’m not an artist. My clothes don’t even have that cool girl artsy aesthetic. 

And I haven’t yet explored the entire world. 

But here I am. 

Writing. 

Living abroad. 

Raising bilingual children. 

And having worked as a Social Worker, I can tell you that I’ve learnt plenty about people. 

How we connect.

Or don’t.

The way we try to find meaning in our lives.

How quickly hope can be lost. 

That through imperfection, we create the reality of our dreams.  

Why Blog?

As a Mum of two little people living abroad, I realised I had become invisible. 

To myself. 

Between adjusting to parenting, moving abroad, learning a new language and the madness of everyday life, I’d painted myself out of the picture. 

Completely.

My needs came last, if at all. 

Maybe you can relate to the fog of early parenting? Or the chaos of moving a family abroad? 

It was after our first visit back to Australia that I remembered. 

Writing.

I love books. Words. Exploring ideas. Hearing people’s stories. Learning from their experiences. 

I needed to write. 

Following our trip to Australia, we embarked on a five-week road trip through the Balkans. 

This was my space to begin thinking about what to write. 

A year on from those initial, tentative steps toward finding me again, and here we are. 

I am blogging to help you by providing a safe space.

A safe space for women parenting abroad. 

A dream space for families wanting to have adventures with their children. 

And an info hub for anyone who wants to visit Dresden, my current home.

But why Breathe in Between? 

It’s a combination of two phrases I use when under pressure.

“Breathe In”

The moment it takes to breathe in is all it takes. 

All it takes to diffuse a tense situation. To absorb challenging news. Or to find your calm during your toddler’s meltdown.

It’s a skill I’ve worked hard to master and still doesn’t always come easy.

I’m already trying to teach this priceless life skill of self-regulation to my kids (and sometimes it even works!). 

But like all families, we still have meltdowns, temper tantrums and daily complaints! 

“In Between”

These two words make difficult, challenging or near-impossible situations tolerable.

“This is not my life”, I’d tell myself when studying German left me so overwhelmed that I’d cry into my homework like the angsty teen I once was, “I’m just in between not knowing and knowing”. 

And I can say, in my life, I have been in between just about everything.

But it’s a phrase that gives me my power back. 

“I’m not a bad Mother. I’m in between knowing how to manage the old behaviour and learning how to manage this new behaviour.” 

Being in between helps me remain hopeful when everything feels hopeless.

“I’m not alone. I’m in between meeting new people and finding the right people.” 

But most of all, it reminds me to remain optimistic. 

Everything is always leading to another thing.

Life is never still. 

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Why are you in Germany?

Fair question. 

After almost four years here, I have the same three reasons I had in 2019 when we decided to pack up everything and move across the world with our baby daughter.

My kids should be able to speak both languages fluently. 

They’re citizens of Australia (my home) and Germany (my husband’s home). 

For both of us, the ability of our children to connect with and know both cultures was of utmost importance. 

My kids deserve to have a relationship with their German family. 

And I stand by this. My children now have a relationship with Oma that melts my heart (even if she does my head in). 

I know what you’re thinking. “But Tara! What about your family?!” 

And that’s the complicated thing about marrying someone from the other side of the world.

One of us is always a foreigner. 

One side of our family will always miss out. 

It’s not an easy decision. 

The conversation is always open.

Will we be here forever? When will we move back? How would we support the kids through that transition? Are we missing out on a better life there?

Questions we will always have, yet the answers continue to elude us.  

I’d always dreamed of living abroad and exploring Europe.

There’s an ego underlying every decision we make.

And there’s mine. 

I’d dreamt of exploring the whole world. I still do.

Eastern Europe is a region that has always fascinated me. 

As a student of politics and sociology, this region offers a breathtaking amount of culture, history and more than a little social upheaval. 

A paradise for understanding, in other words. 

To my social worker’s mind, this part of the world offered nothing other than the opportunity to learn. 

My favourite thing to do!

And wouldn’t you know it? My husband hails from Dresden, a city in Germany’s East. 

A city previously behind the Iron Curtain.

From here, I’ve uncovered things about myself and people that I didn’t expect.

What I stand for.

How I interact with the world and how I am, in turn, shaped by it. 

Where I fit in this crazy world of ours.

Who I am.

What’s next?

Connecting with my readers. 

I would love nothing more than to hear your experiences of living abroad. 

Of parenting away from home. Or of adventuring with your little people. 

Through my content, I hope to advise, support and empower you to reach for your dreams. 

No matter how wild they seem! I’m still trying to learn every word in the world, syllable by syllable. 

But most of all, I want you to find you.

Like I have. Again.

And remember –

Breathe in. You’re only in between here and there. 

Wherever there is for you. 

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