Did you know that expats are 2.5 times more likely to experience anxiety and depression? 50% of us are put in the “High Risk” category for suffering anxiety and depression*. 

Expat Overwhelm leaves you feeling dazed and unable to complete basic tasks. 

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Culture shock, social adjustment, and the emotional load of moving abroad all play a role, but for many mothers, the most disruptive part isn’t logistical at all.

It’s what happens internally once everything familiar disappears.

In my first winter in Germany, I lost hats, gloves, wallet, and keys. I’d never before been so muddle-headed. 

I felt uneasy about visiting new places. Engaging with strangers filled me with dread. I often sat on the couch, unsure what to do next. 

This wasn’t who I thought I was.

And that disconnect between who you know yourself to be and how you’re functioning is often the most frightening part of expat overwhelm.

What is Expat Overwhelm?

Expat overwhelm is the result of sustained stress without familiar anchors.

It’s the ongoing experience of:

• What do I do now?
  
• How do I do it here?
  
• Who can I ask for help?
  

Often referred to as “expat syndrome,” this state is widely misunderstood and confused with homesickness.

Instead of recognising it as a predictable response to prolonged change, many women internalise it and ask:

What’s wrong with me?

Nothing.

When stress, isolation, and self-doubt combine — especially while parenting — the nervous system can shift into a freeze response.

This is what being “stuck” actually feels like.

Symptoms of Expat Overwhelm

Expat overwhelm can look like:

• General confusion
  
• Forgetfulness
  
• Reduced ability to concentrate
  
• Fatigue
  
• Disturbed sleep
  
• Persistent self-doubt
  

These symptoms are often misinterpreted, or misdiagnosed, which can increase fear rather than reduce it.

If you are in immediate danger or need urgent support, please see the emergency resources at the end of this post.

If you are in immediate danger and need urgent support, please see the emergency resources at the end of this post.

Why Expat Overwhelm Happens (Especially for Mothers)

Expat overwhelm isn’t a personal failure or a sign that you’re “not cut out for this life.”
It’s a predictable response to sustained change — particularly when you’re responsible not only for yourself, but for your children too.

Most families expect the move itself to be stressful.
What they don’t anticipate is how long the adjustment phase lasts, and how many layers of pressure it carries.

For mothers, that pressure tends to stack quietly and cumulatively.

The Loss of Familiar Systems

Much of our day-to-day confidence comes from familiarity.

Knowing how things work.
Knowing where to go.
Knowing what’s expected of you — and how to get things done efficiently.

When you move abroad, those systems disappear overnight.

Suddenly, simple tasks require extra thought.
Routine errands take more time.
Every decision — from paperwork to parenting — carries more weight.

Even highly capable women can feel unsteady when the scaffolding that once supported them is gone. Not because they’ve changed, but because the environment has.

The Invisible Emotional Load of Motherhood Abroad

On top of managing your own adjustment, you’re often carrying the emotional load for your children as well.

You’re watching for signs of homesickness.
Translating unfamiliar experiences.
Holding space for big feelings — while trying to stay regulated yourself.

Much of this work is invisible. It doesn’t show up on a checklist, but it takes real energy.

When mothers feel depleted abroad, it’s often because they’re doing far more emotional labour than they realise — without the usual support structures to offset it.

Language, Isolation, and Constant Adjustment

Language barriers and cultural differences add another layer of strain.

Even when you speak the local language reasonably well, operating in a second language requires more concentration. Social cues are harder to read. Small misunderstandings can feel outsized.

At the same time, familiar social connections may be missing — friends, family, casual support.

This combination of isolation and constant adjustment keeps the nervous system in a low-level state of alert, making it harder to rest and recover.

The Impact of Climate and Diet Changes

What’s often overlooked is the physical side of adjustment.

Changes in climate, light exposure, food, and daily rhythms can have a significant impact on energy levels, sleep, mood, and overall wellbeing.

Different seasons, longer winters, or less daylight can affect emotional resilience.
New foods — or the absence of familiar ones — can influence digestion, appetite, and comfort.

When your body is quietly working harder to adapt, emotional capacity tends to shrink.

This doesn’t mean anything is “wrong.” It means your system is adjusting on multiple levels at once — physically, emotionally, and psychologically.

Why It Can Feel Like Too Much

When all of these factors combine — loss of familiarity, increased emotional labour, social isolation, and physical adjustment — overwhelm becomes a logical outcome.

Not dramatic.
Not unexpected.
And not permanent.

Understanding why this happens is often the first step toward regaining a sense of stability and self-trust.

Why This Isn’t Your Fault

You are not overwhelmed because you are:

• weak
  
• lazy
  
• incapable
  

Expat overwhelm doesn’t arrive all at once.

It builds slowly, especially when you start believing you should be coping better.

That belief, and not the move itself,  is often what keeps women stuck.

Isn’t Expat Overwhelm just feeling homesick? 

Not quite. 

Feeling homesick is an acute longing for the familiar. The sudden urge to smell your Mum’s cooking or the surprising pang of sadness when you put up the Christmas Tree and it just doesn’t feel the same. 

In it’s most extreme form, feeling homesick can manifest with severe physical and emotional symptoms. It is a sickness, afterall. 

Expat Overwhelm is an experience of stress that can keep you stuck and stop you from fulfilling your goals of living abroad. For example, in the overwhelmed state, you may be unable to be productive, social or emotionally available to your family.

Read my post about overcoming homesickness here. 

From Overwhelm to a New Normal (My Story)

I moved to Germany during the pandemic. 

Was it the worst time to begin a new life in a foreign country? Quite probably.

No language skills.
No social connections.
No ability to travel the way we’d planned.

At first, it felt like an adventure.

But gradually, self-doubt crept in.

Was this a mistake?
Had I ruined something for my child?
Why did everything feel so hard?

I became forgetful.
Decision-making felt impossible.
Life felt like too much.

What helped wasn’t fixing everything — it was stabilising enough to keep going.

• Building a social network, one small interaction at a time
  
• Learning the language, slowly reclaiming my competence
  
• Accepting my limits without giving up
  
• Remembering why we moved
  
• Allowing time to do what only time can do

You can read more about my story here. 

What Actually Helps Expat Overwhelm

Expat overwhelm isn’t permanent, but it does require support.

Create predictable routines

Biological rhythms matter: sleep, movement, food, daylight.

When the body feels safe, the mind can follow.

Build support intentionally

Community doesn’t happen accidentally abroad.

It’s built — awkwardly at first, then more naturally.

Adjust expectations

Your timeline is not someone else’s.

Pressure delays adjustment; self-compassion supports it.

Care for yourself on purpose

Even 20 minutes a day matters.
Especially at the beginning.

Small Steps, Big Changes 

Expat Overwhelm, interestingly, isn’t universal. Not every expat experiences it. 

Some people settle into their new lives without a problem. Why are they so lucky? What’s different about their experience? 

Partly, your temperament is to blame. Some people are just more adaptable than others. 

However, managing your expectations and building a supportive community will reduce your feelings of overwhelm when you arrive. 

Here are some practical tips that you can start implementing now. 

Find other expats

Join local expat facebook groups, show up at the goofy International Friends dinners and just get out there.

Keep a journal

This can be a daily diary, goal-setting or just getting all of your mean-girl thoughts out of your head.

I don’t mean spend hours a day on this task (unless you can, then do it!).

Simply jotting down your struggles from the day or musing on what you’re grateful for can help.

Engage with the locals 

Get amongst the quirky festivals, strange parades and odd celebrations of your new home.

You didn’t move here to lead the very same life you had at home!

The sooner you’re able to engage with and better understand how the locals view the world, the sooner you’ll start to feel at home.

Do what you loved at home here as well

Loved dancing at home? Keep it up! Did yoga daily? Don’t stop now. Whatever you did routinely at home, do it in your new home. Sure, I want you to engage with the locals but that doesn’t mean giving up what makes you, you.

A Note Before You Go 

Expat overwhelm is real — and it is common among capable, thoughtful women.

If this resonates, nothing has gone wrong.
You are responding normally to sustained change.

With support, structure, and time, a new sense of stability does emerge.

You don’t have to rush it.

Download my FREE Expat Family Starter Kit to help you get started.

Have you ever felt Expat Overwhelm? Share your experiences in the comments below. 

Emergency Support 

Online Support Services

1. My International Therapy

Self-described as “by expats, for expats”, this is a fantastic place to find support if you’re struggling with Expat Overwhelm. With the option of online or on-site consultations in Berlin available, you are able to seek out a professional who best matches you and your unique needs. 

2. It’s Complicated Platform
With the specific aim of connecting expats with English-speaking therapists (60 languages in all if English isn’t your Mother tongue), this online allows you to browse professionals with a wealth of experience, specialities and modalities to find your perfect match. Online and in-person session available, with practicing professionals based across Europe and the US. 

3. Mindler
An app-based platform offering online therapy sessions in many languages with professionals boasting experience in offering various forms of support, specifically for stress management, anxiety and depression.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

What is Expat Overwhelm?

Expat Overwhelm is a term used to incorporate feelings of anxiety, stress, fatigue and other symptoms that can be experienced after relocating to a new country. It may be triggered by challenges experienced due to language barrier, culture shock and feelings of homesickness. 

What are the symptoms of Expat Overwhelm?

Common symptoms of Expat Overwhelm are anxiety, forgetfulness, difficulty concentrating, frustration, fatigue, headaches and tummy troubles. 

How can I create a social network in my new home abroad? 

Joining expat groups in your new city, participating in community events and connecting with neighbours or other local people can quickly build your social network and reduce your feelings of loneliness and isolation. Facebook is a great resource for connecting with other expats in your city. 

I’m an expat and I’m overwhelmed. What should I do?

• Create a daily routine to give yourself predictability and stability. 
• Journal.
• Stay socially engaged. 
• Seek professional support if you can’t cope alone any longer. There’s strength in getting help. 

How long will it take before my new home feels like home?

This depends on so many personal factors that I can’t possibly predict your experience. Depending on your age, lifestyle, life experiences, expectations and barriers experienced in your new home, adjusting could take as little as a few months and as much as several years. Everyone’s different and every experience is unique. 

Can Expat Overwhelm effect my family, too?

Unfortunately, yes, it can effect everyone of every age. Your family members may themselves begin to feel overwhelmed or be negatively impacted by your feelings of overwhelm. It’s important to look after yourself and each other through this major life transition. 

Got more questions? Share them in the comments. 

Sources

https://expathealth.org/healthcare/expats-have-greater-risk-of-mental-health-issue

https://www.axaglobalhealthcare.com/en/wellbeing/emotional/top-expat-concerns

The post Expat Overwhelm: How to Overcome It appeared first on Relocation and Travel Coaching.

Did you know that expats recently ranked Germany 49th in a survey of 53 countries when considering their happiness abroad? The report claims “Expats are the among the loneliest and unhappiest worldwide”.

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Yikes!

But you’ve decided to move to Germany. Now what? 

The challenges of moving abroad are not only the logistics of “what should I pack?” and booking your flights. 

Things to consider include: 

Administrative Challenges 

Visas, dealing with local authorities, health insurance, the education system. It’s a long list of things to manage. 

Cultural Challenges 

Language barriers and cultural differences can lead to feelings of isolation, loneliness or even frustration and anger. 

Family Challenges 

Each member of the family will experience the relocation differently and require differing levels of support to manage feelings of homesickness, loss, grief and navigating their new life abroad. 

Having someone by your side with local knowledge, language skills and personal experience as an expat in Germany ensures that your relocation to Germany is seamless. Let’s ensure you’re not one of the “loneliest and unhappiest” expats in Germany!

Top Benefits of Personalized Relocation Services to Germany

Every relocation experience is unique. The success of a relocation depends on many factors, including:

• Personal motivations for the relocation,
  
• Individual expectations of a new life in the new city,
  
• Previous experience/s relocating
  
• Family dynamics between partners and children,
  
• Individual flexibility, sense of adventure and coping strategies
  
• Willingness to learn
  
• Acceptance and comfort with cultural differences. 

Here are the top three benefits of personalized relocation services for your family’s relocation to Germany.

1. Personalized Advice and Emotional Support 

You’re the expert in your situation. Only you know your motivations for moving abroad and your goals for your new life. 

Personalized relocation services mean your goals and priorities will become my goals and priorities.

Could you do all of the packing, list-making and appointment setting yourself? Of course you can! But why make the To-Do lists, the research and the leg-work when I can do it for you? Besides, I’ve already done it before. 

2. Saves You Time

With so many competing priorities for you and your family, where do you start? Do you start with the easiest task or the most important? Will you begin with the logistics or the bureaucracy? 

Using relocation services for expats in Germany will save you time. No more hours spent staring at your screen, switching tabs or flicking through that pile of paper. 

Personalized relocation services to Germany is your short-cut to understanding exactly what needs to happen and when. You can ask me questions anytime and know that the answer will be tailored to your unique circumstances.

No more time wasted scrolling through Facebook Groups or Reddit threads. 

3. No Language Barrier

Unless you already speak German, the language barrier is real. 

Bureaucrats here are only allowed to work with people in Germany. That makes it tough for new arrivals without local language skills or a trusted local who can act as an interpreter. 

I know what you’re thinking. “I’ll just use Google Translate!”. 

The trouble is that many words, particularly in German bureaucracy, cannot be properly translated. Specific processes, documents and permissions only exist in Germany. 

A key resource in your personalised relocation support to Germany is quick reference guides to these terms. 

Common Challenges When Moving to Germany 

Here are some of the most common challenges families face when they relocate to Germany. 

Administrative Challenges 

In this survey, one of expats’ biggest challenges is managing everyday tasks and bureaucracy with 56% of respondents naming the local bureaucracy as a key challenge to their settlement in Germany. 

Not only is there a lot of bureaucracy to manage, it’s all paper-based and often can only be completed in person. 

Examples of administrative challenges include: 

• Finding an Apartment in Germany
  
• Managing your visa through the Ausläderbehörde
  
• How to register your address with the Bürgeramt 
  
• Applying for Health Insurance for expats in Germany
  
• Meeting your obligations to the Steuer Amt
  
• Finding work
  
• Accessing the childcare and education system
  
• Driving in Germany

Having a familiar voice in Germany to talk you through these processes takes the pressure off you, so you can focus on supporting your family through the settlement period. 

Read my post to prepare for success with German Bureaucracy.

Cultural Challenges

Experiencing homesickness, social isolation due to cultural differences or discrimination and language barriers are very real challenges for expat families who have relocated to Germany. 

50% of survey respondents found life in Germany difficult without German language skills, compared to the global average of 32%. 

Aside from the challenges of learning German, other cultural challenges for expats in Germany might include:

• Social interactions. For example, there is no small talk with strangers.  
  
• Workplace cultures. Germans are often very private, maintaining a strong separation between personal and professional spheres. 
  
• Always being a foreigner. Around 15% of the German population are immigrants (more data and explanation here), though this number is much lower in parts of the country. In Saxony where I live, less than 10% of the population are foreign-born. These figures are striking if you’re from a country like Canada (20% immigrant population) or Australia (30% immigrant population).

While every new expat in Germany will have to navigate these challenges, I can help prepare you for them before you arrive and counsel you through them as you experience them in real life. 

Family Challenges 

The dynamics of your family will play a central role in everyone’s smooth relocation and settlement experience in Germany. 

Some common challenges experienced by expats when they arrive in Germany are:

• Changes in your romantic relationship. Due to experiencing stress or a dramatic shift in your dynamic (maybe only one partner is working instead of both?). This challenge can be proactively planned for to avoid the worst.
  
• Emotional changes in your kids. A relocation is huge for kids and they will need your ongoing support and understanding as they adjust. Your children might display emotional changes (needing extra cuddles or time alone) or behavioural changes (perhaps they’re more introverted than before or having trouble sleeping). While most of these changes will be temporary, it’s good to understand what might happen before you arrive.
  
• Making Friends. Creating a Social Network is one of the most important steps to a successful settlement experience. However, without German language skills or local contacts, this can be very difficult to achieve. Indeed, 55% of respondents reported finding it difficult to make friends in Germany, compared with the global average of 36%. 

Personalised relocation services to Germany can prepare you and your family for these challenges, by providing education on these topics before your big move and by offering practical strategies and local support services once you’re in Germany. 

Conclusion

Relocating to Germany with your family is a huge step. Every family has their own motivations for this change and brings unique perspectives to the challenges that they may experience.

Despite it’s bad press, I’ve built a thriving life in with my family in Germany and I know you can too. With the right support before, during and after your move, you and your family will never look back with regret. 

Get your FREE Expat Start Kit to start your new life abroad with clarity.

The post Personalized Relocation Services: What You Need to Know   appeared first on Relocation and Travel Coaching.

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It’s not only friendly on the wallet but also helps reduce waste and gives items a second life. I’m hooked on secondhand shopping. 

Then I moved to Germany. 

Online marketplaces existed but because my language skills were non-existent, I was terrified to contact sellers.

How do I ask if an item is available?

What does “VB” mean? 

I couldn’t find any secondhand stores like at home. Bric-a-brac charity shops where you could furnish your entire house for next to nothing.

After four years in Germany, I’ve mastered the art of shopping secondhand both online and in shops.

In this post, I’ll offer you an overview of where to find secondhand goods and share some useful German phrases to help you to shop secondhand in Germany.

Do people shop secondhand in Germany?

Yes, but thrifting isn’t a widespread activity in Germany.

Germany’s commitment to sustainability means that many Germans take great care of their possessions and prefer to rehome them. Typically, your purchase will comes with its original packaging! 

You will find plenty of choices online, shops selling used items and flea markets so that you can shop secondhand in Germany. 

Online Marketplaces to Shop secondhand in Germany

By far the easiest place to shop secondhand in Germany is online. Yes, you will have to manage negotiations and arrangements in German, but you’ve got this!

Google Translate always helps when you’re stuck. 

eBay Kleinanzeigen 

Known as Germany’s Craigslist, this site is the best place to start when you want to shop secondhand in Germany.  

Head here: https://www.kleinanzeigen.de/

Best for: Household appliances, furniture, bikes, electronics, clothes for the whole family. 

Pick-up or postage? Typically pick-up but for some items postage is available.   

Payment: Cash on pickup, via PayPal or direct bank transfer or through the platform’s payment system. 

Pros

• Huge userbase: You’ll almost definitely find what you’re looking for. 
• Easy searchability: Filters and categories help speed up your search.   
• Public Ratings: allowing you to decide who to trust. 

Cons

• Scammers: Be very cautious about messages from unknown people; ignore requests to confirm your details through Telegram or WhatsApp. 
• Pickup coordination: Arranging a pickup time can be tricky. 

Personal experience: My first successful purchase from eBay Kleinanzeigen was an old postage box now that I now use for shoes. As a result, a small piece of our city’s history has been incorporated into our home’s decor. Using Google Translate allowed me to successfully negotiated the price and collection time with the seller, giving me a huge confidence boost for my next purchases. 

Vinted 

Another large site with branches around the world.

Head here: https://www.vinted.de/

Best for: Clothes, shoes, bedding.

Pick-up or postage? Postage is preferred by the majority of vendors, with many options for delivery.

Payment: PayPal, direct bank transfer or payment through the platform’s payment system.

Pros:

• Extensive range of clothing: You’ll find everything your family needs. 
• Speciality items: Snow gear and maternity wear are readily available. 
• Buyer protection as standard: You will be refunded if your items aren’t posted within a week of purchase. 

Cons

• Overwhelm: The number of postage and delivery options can be a lot to learn. 

Personal experience: Overall, Vinted is my go-to marketplace for used clothes. Every year I add to my Winter wardrobe through Vinted, snapping up bargains on Fjällräven snow jackets, cardigans and bags. 

Facebook Marketplace

Best for: A little bit of everything. 

Pick-up or postage? Negotiated with the seller. 

Payment: Negotiated with the seller. 

Pros: 

• Accessibility: Everyone already has a Facebook account! 
• Connection to locals: You can meet more people from your new home. 

Cons: 

• Limited range: Very few listings compared to Facebook Marketplace in other places. 

Personal experience: Since living in Germany, I have never bought anything from Facebook Marketplace. Here in Dresden, the people I know barely use this marketplace.

Where to shop secondhand in Germany offline

Flea markets (Flohmarkt)

Known locally as Flohmarkt, these are open-air markets where people sell their old gear. 

Often held in parks, schools and churches, here is your chance to get thrifting! Community organisations manage these markets seasonally, allowing you to update your wardrobe as the weather changes. 

Pros:

• Direct Interactions: You can see, touch and sometimes even try on the used items for sale before committing to buying them. 
• Local connection: Get to know some locals while you’re there. 
• Simplicity: No postage or payment methods to negotiate. 

Cons:

• Not well advertised: These markets are rarely well publicized.  
• Cash Only: Generally, only cash is accepted. 

Personal Experience: So far, I have always left these markets with full hands! They’re by far my favourite way to shop secondhand in Germany.

Secondhand and Thrift Shops 

These look just like regular retail stores from the outside (unlike back in Australia where thrift stores tend to look overcrowded and a bit disorganised!).

Pros:

• Specialisation: Every shop tends to have a speciality, so you know what you can expect. 

Cons:

• Opening hours: Often these stores have fewer opening hours than usual retail outlets.

Personal Experience: Over the last years these stores have provided me with furniture and goods for my kids.

Clothing Swaps 

Organised locally, these are a great way to restock your wardrobe without breaking your bank account or ruining the environment. 

Pros:

• Making connections: Meet people from your local area.
• Upgrade and destash: As it’s a swap, you won’t find yourself with too many clothes after your day of shopping secondhand.

Cons:

• Often there’s a small fee to be involved (normally between 5 – 10€). 

If you’re keen to get involved, try searching Kleidung austausch and your city to find local events. 

Personal Experience: To date, I’ve only attended a clothes-swapping even for children (Kinder Austausch) and loved it! Not only did we find everything our little ones needed but we had the chance to chat to locals and learn more about the community organisations behind these events. 

Essential German Phrases to shop secondhand

To help you shop secondhand in Germany, here are a few helpful words and phrases in German.

Whether you’re looking for a new wardrobe piece or a unique item to complete your home, Germany offers plenty of opportunities for shopping secondhand goods online and offline. Remember to use the handy German phrases provided to ease your shopping experience. 

Have you discovered any hidden gems or have additional tips? Let me know in the comments below!

Get your FREE Expat Starter Kit. It’s full of tips and tools to get you ready for your International move.

The post The Cheat Sheet you Need to Shop Secondhand in Germany appeared first on Relocation and Travel Coaching.

It’s not fun. It’s not glamorous and it is most definitely not always Instagrammable. 

But weirdly, it gets better.

Read on for the top three reasons living abroad is the worst and how I’ve overcome them. 

If you take away only one thing from this post, it should be this:

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

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Is living abroad really that bad?

Yes. 

No.

I mean, sometimes.

Living abroad is so complicated that there’s no way to fully explain it. You just have to live it. 

It’s hard. It’s not the Instagram, glamorous adventure we’ve all been fed. 

It can be lonely.

IT IS ALL SO DIFFERENT FROM HOME!

There’s no easy comfort to be found by being in a familiar environment, with familiar people or a familiar routine. 

Every day we have to learn something new. 

And be brave. 

What’s my story?

I’ve been living in Dresden, Germany with my family for nearly four years now.

I’ve learned a lot about myself, people and the world.

You can read more about my story here.

Dresden, despite its stunning Old City and our family connections, is not always the most welcoming corner to settle in. 

Do you remember the key takeaway from this post? Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

What’s so different?

1. Social interactions

I’m an outwardly friendly person. I will smile at anyone I meet on the street and engage happily in small talk. But none of that happens here. 

Here, smiling at strangers results in people staring at you like you’ve got cake on your face. 

I didn’t know how to interact with people and for a social worker who thrives from social interaction, I felt (and still do sometimes) completely lost. 

2. Bureaucracy

If you’d like a side of paperwork with your main course of forms to complete, Germany is your spirit home. 

It was a massive adjustment for me to suddenly need help to complete bureaucratic tasks.

And this is true of all foreign countries. These boring but important necessities of adult-life are different in every country.

Even if you have no language barrier, the conceptual understanding of how government agencies are connected and which is responsible for what takes time to learn.

3. Learning a language

Daily, intensive classes for a year. It was gruelling.

If you’ve never learnt a foreign language, I can say that this is the best way to acquire the skills. However, it’s impact on other areas of your life is extreme. 

While I was learning German, I lost almost all of my other executive functions. My memory was shot, I was always tired and I could not focus on anything. 

Through all of this, I was still aspiring to be an amazing Mum who maintained a stable home for my kids. 

Even though I felt like I was spinning out of control. 

It was a lot. 

But. 

And there is a but. 

Most days I’ve felt like I’ve been just surviving. But now, after more than three years, I feel like I’m thriving again. 

Finally, I’m confident enough in German to manage everyday tasks and bureaucracy alone. Heck, I’m now working in German! 

I have built a social network of both international and local women, taking me out of my loneliness and isolation. 

And we’re now a family of four. 

So before I explain why living abroad is the worst, I just wanted to let you know that it’s not always going to feel like that. 

But don’t forget – you’re going to have to get uncomfortable along the way. 

What You Should Know About Living Abroad

Before you take the leap and move abroad, here are my 3 reasons why living abroad is the worst!

And if you’re already abroad, I’d love to read about your experiences. Have I forgotten something about living away from home? Or have you only had good experiences? 

1. No one cares who you are 

No one knows you here. 

You don’t have a history with the locals. 

There are no long-standing friendships here to fall back on. 

It’s probable that you also have a very small professional network to rely on, if any at all. 

It’s a weird position to be in. You’re confronted with having to build your identity and reputation again from scratch but without the support, you probably had back home as a young adult. 

And thinking “But I’m trying really hard!” doesn’t help, because so is everyone else. 

This is the phase that nearly broke me. The realisation that this wasn’t going to be easy. That actually, this was going to be really hard. 

And that’s when my homesickness arrived. The worst I had ever experienced (and I’ve never really been one to get homesick!) 

If you’re feeling homesick as a parent abroad, you can read my 7 Tips for you here. 

IT WON’T ALWAYS BE LIKE THIS! 

In Social Work, we have the motto lean into the discomfort. 

As a professional, I can tell you that it’s not easy to lean in when every part of your body and mind wants to get up and run. 

Personally, it’s even harder. Especially when you’re living abroad. You don’t have anywhere to run to!

In only three years, I have expanded my social circle beyond just my family.

It takes time. 

But one day, you’ll look back and realise it’s not so difficult anymore.

Then you know you’ve made it. 

What helps?

• Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. 
• Lean in. 
• Don’t give up. 
• Remember why you moved abroad. 
• Take everything day-by-day and bit-by-bit. 

2. Life is exhausting 

Every day you need to learn something new. 

We’re getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. 

Constant learning is exhausting. 

Sure, you might not have to learn a language like I did, but it’s not just language that you need to learn. 

• How will you get around? Maybe you need to learn how to drive on the other side of the road or figure out how the trams, buses and trains operate. 
  
• You’ll need to find your way around the city. Where is your home relative to work, school and leisure activities?
  
• Figure out the health and education systems. How do they work, how do you register for their services and what are your obligations? 
  
• Follow the procedures of the local authorities, whatever they might be. 
  
• Decide where to live and if you will rent or buy or live in a share house or an apartment or a house and which part of your new city is a good fit for you and your family?  
  
• Find a job in an unknown professional market. 

And so much more. 

If you’ve moved with kids, you need to manage all of this while maintaining a stable home for your kids. 

Cognitive science backs up my experience of exhaustion during this transition phase. 

The tasks that we undertake every day on autopilot are important times when our conscious brain gets a little rest. 

The 2003 study by Stephen Monsell (2003) found that creating habitual behaviours can lead to increased cognitive function. 

So, we can invert this and agree that the reduction of habitual behaviours may decrease our cognitive capacity. 

Our brains need routine. 

Learning new stuff is tiring. 

So, when you’re constantly having to learn new things, you’ll have very few of these autopilot moments in a day. 

What helps? 

• Expect to do less each day in the first months in your new home.
• Concentrate on what you can control.
• Break every challenge into smaller steps and take just one step a day.

3. You’re not who you think you are 

Straight up. 

You are not who you think you are. 

Are you ready to feel uncomfortable? Because this is probably the most uncomfortable part! 

And you know why? 

We create our identities and understand ourselves in relation to those around us. 

Sociologist George Herbert Mead shared through his many lectures his idea that our identity isn’t fixed but is constantly changing and evolving through our interactions with others.  We only think our identity is fixed because we’re engaging with (mostly) the same people who reflect our view of ourselves. 

Now that you’re living abroad, suddenly you’re no longer around those same people. You’re now confronted with people who reflect different ideas about who you are and these might not match your ideas about who you are. 

We’re getting comfortable being uncomfortable and this part of living abroad is the masterclass! 

For me, the only familiar folk I had were my husband and children, nut our family dynamic was suddenly so drastically altered, I couldn’t recognise myself. My view of myself as a capable, strong and independent woman was shaken. 

Expect your ideas about who you are to be challenged and changed. 

It’s cliche, but you’re about to learn a lot about who you are, who you were and who you’re becoming. 

Moving to Germany has humbled me and transformed how I view myself. 

It wasn’t a pleasant process, by the way. 

Having a solid and clearly defined why was the anchor that stopped me from being swept away in the torrent of changes.  

What helps? 

• Talk to people at home as regularly as you can to remember your old self and honour her. 
  
• Accept the new version of yourself without judgement. Different is not good or bad, it’s just different. 
  
• I found journalling really helpful. Just jotting down the changes I’d noticed in myself cleared my confusion and worry about who I was. 
  
• Avoid dwelling on these changes. Notice them without judgement and let them go. You’re one step from a full-blown existential crisis here and you do not need one fo those while getting your life abroad sorted out. 

And there you have it.

Living abroad can sometimes be the worst. But it won’t stay that way. 

The challenges of having no connections, learning new stuff every day and discovering your new self will pass.  

But it is work. 

Work at it each day and bit by bit you’ll find your new life flourishing around you. 

It’s hard to be comfortable with being uncomfortable! 

But you’ve got this. 

Get your FREE Expat Starter Kit. It’s filled with practical tips and tools to help you thrive from day one in your new life abroad.

Need some more support in your new life abroad? 

If you’re looking for a few more resources to help you find your groove in your new life abroad, check out these resources. 

1. Atomic Habits by James Clear.

In his book, James Clear has delved into the research and offers us the building blocks to reshape our habits. 

This book (and audiobook, if you don’t have time to sit and read!) gave me clarity about what my challenges were and easy step-by-step guide about how to overcome them.

And he makes it so easy!

His website is also a treasure trove of articles and resources to support your journey of getting clear-headed and organised. Enjoy! 

2. The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo 

This stunning novella is a short read but packs a punch. 

The story follows a young shepherd boy’s adventure to find his treasure and the challenges he overcomes on his journey. 

It is poignant and heartwarming. The metaphor for life is radiant and it brings me comfort and joy every time I read it. 

Head here to read more about this book and to buy your own copy.

Is this your experience living abroad? Let me know in the comments below!

The post Why living abroad sucks (and how to overcome it) appeared first on Relocation and Travel Coaching.

You’ve made it. You’re away. After months of planning, organising, saving and impatiently waiting – you’re finally on holiday. But not everyone’s loving it.

Traveling with your children is one of the most rewarding gifts you can give them. New places, new foods, new cultures, and new adventures – all wrapped into one. But sometimes, the excitement comes with an unexpected challenge: homesickness.

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Whether you’re away for a short holiday or embarking on an extended family adventure abroad, kids can struggle with missing home, friends, or familiar routines. 

And when that happens, you might find yourself wondering how to help them.

This guide will walk you through everything you need to know about homesickness in children while traveling:

• What homesickness is (and what it’s not)
  
• Why kids are especially vulnerable to it
  
• The signs to look out for
  
• Practical strategies for preventing homesickness before it starts
  
• What to do if your child becomes homesick mid-trip
  
• Reflection prompts and action steps to support both you and your child
  
• Resources for going deeper
  

By the end, you’ll not only feel prepared to handle homesickness—you’ll also feel more confident about helping your child thrive through the ups and downs of family travel.

What Is Homesickness?

Homesickness is the distress we feel when separated from the people, places, and routines that make us feel secure. 

Think different food, beds, languages, ways of dressing, greeting, or celebrating.

It’s not just “missing home”—it’s an emotional response to change, and for children, that change can feel huge.

For kids, who often didn’t get a say in the decision to travel or move abroad, that difference can feel overwhelming.

Psychologists describe homesickness as showing up on several levels:

• Emotional – sadness, longing, irritability.
  
• Cognitive – constant thoughts about home, preoccupation with missing out.
  
• Social – withdrawing, not wanting to participate in group activities.
  
• Physical – stomachaches, headaches, sleep disruption.
  

Think about the last time you felt homesick (maybe moving abroad or during a holiday season). How did it show up for you emotionally, socially, or physically?

This memory will help you connect with empathy to what your child is experiencing.

If you’re a homesick parent, here are my tips for you.

Why homesickness Happens (even on dream holidays)

Shirley Fisher, in her landmark research on homesickness, described it as a temporary loss of control. Children feel displaced from what grounds them. This doesn’t mean something is wrong with your child; it means they’re human.

Yes, they will miss the mundane. 

Loss of routine

The anchors in your child’s day are missing – the morning routine, bedtime rituals and everything inbetween typically get lost on holiday.

People

It’s an obvious one, but kids will likely miss other significant people in their life. Their grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends and even their teachers. Anyone who plays a significant part in their day-to-day routine who isn’t on the holiday with you. 

Things

They might be missing the cuddles with your pets at home, their teddy bears or even their favourite book.

Overstimulation

It might seem counterintuitive, but being exposed to so much new at once can be too much, forcing your child to notice how much they miss being at home. 

Think about everything on your holiday in comparison to home: new places, different smells, unusual sounds and sights can be a lot.

Temperament and Stage of Development 

Exactly how your child will respond to travel and experience homesickness will depend on their temperament and their developmental stage when you travel. Toddlers, school-aged kids, and tweens will all respond differently.

How to Recognise Homesickness in Your Child

Every child’s experience of homesickness will look different. You know your child best. But there are some common signs of homesickness in kids, so keep an eye out for:

• Increased crankiness, clinginess or fussiness.
  
• Refusal to try new things (food, games, clothes, sightseeing) or beginning to refuse things they had previously enjoyed on holiday.
  
• Not wanting to leave the hotel or accommodation.
  
• Preferring to only speak the home language (in our case, when my daughter is experiencing homesickness, she will revert to speaking only German) .
  
• Regularly talking about friends or family back home, wondering aloud what they might be doing or frequently asking to contact them.
  

A good rule to stick by while you’re travelling is that if you’re child’s behaviour changes, be curious about their experience and consider homesickness as a potential cause. 

Supporting a Homesick Child While Travelling

Even with preparation, your child may still find themselves feeling homesick while travelling. 

Here’s how to help.

1. Normalise Their Feelings

Acknowledge how they’re feeling without dismissing it. 

Instead of “Cheer up. We’re on holiday!” try “I can see you miss home. That makes sense. Home is your safe place.”

Validating your child’s feelings makes them feel heard, loved and valued. 

Staying calm and empathetic in these exchanges is important. 

Try to remember that these feelings do not reflect your child’s level of gratefulness or their love for you.

2. Bring a Piece of Home With You

When you’re travelling, bring something from home to support your child’s sense of stability.

You might bring: 

• Your child’s favourite soft toy
  
• A beloved book
  
• Photos of significant people in your child’s life – grandparents or friends.

Involve you child in choosing what to bring with them when travelling. Supporting kids’ autonomy before travelling will increase their resilience when on the road. 

3. Maintain Rituals From Home

Rituals anchor kids in stability. Family rituals are little reminders for kids that home is predictable and safe. 

In our family, we always eat breakfast together and read bedtime stories. These rituals follow us on the road, too. 

Even simple rituals, like saying goodnight in the same way or sharing a family “one thing I loved today” moment, remind your kids that your family hasn’t changed, even if the environment has.

4. Offer Familiar Food

Food is deeply tied to our sense of home. 

Refusing to try new cuisines may be one of the first signs your child is homesick. 

Offering a simple bowl of muesli, a cheese sandwich, or a favourite fruit can help your homesick little one start to reclaim some of their adventurous spirit. 

And if it’s really impossible to find something from home, I’ve found that introducing local sweets and cakes often does the trick! 

5. Stick to a Routine (yes, even on holiday!) 

A sense of uncertainty, unpredictability and lack of control are central to your child’s homesickness. 

A loose but predictable rhythm can help children to feel more relaxed in the face of uncertainty. 

For example, keeping mealtimes and rest times consistent can go a long way to avoid meltdowns. 

In my family, we use the rule of one big thing per day when we’re travelling.

• If it’s a travel day, then we only travel. No sightseeing.
  
• If it’s a sightseeing day, we visit one museum or one landmark—not more!

When travelling with children, less really is more. 

6. It’s ok to miss home 

It’s ok to feel homesick and it’s entirely normal for kids to miss home. 

Some ways that you can hold space for your child’s homesickness and remedy it at the same time include: 

• Create a photo postcard to send to someone special at home.
  
• Video call a grandparent or friend at home to share a story from your travels.
  
• Include a time each day to share highlights of the day and things we miss from home.

This way, children can stay connected to home without becoming overwhelmed by feelings of homesickness. 

7. Keep Communication Open

Talk to your kids about their experiences. Ask them what they think about the adventure so far. 

Remember to ask open-ended questions to encourage a dialogue. Avoid yes/ no questions if you really want to talk to your kids. 

Try: 

• “What was something you found interesting today?”
  
• “What made you feel uncomfortable today?”
  
• “Is there something here you wish we could do at home too?”

These conversation starters give children permission to share their thoughts and feelings honestly. 

If you model honesty about your own reactions, your child learns that it’s ok not to enjoy aspects of travel, without ruining the entire trip. 

8. Take Care of Yourself Too

The greatest tool your child has while on the road is you. 

Your calm presence and reassurance will ground them, no matter where you are and no matter what’s going on. 

If you’re worn out, find a way to recharge. Plan on being exhausted before you are, so that you’re never left without a chance to look after yourself. 

A regulated parent is the most powerful tool in supporting an emotionally resilient child. 

Read on about why travel truly is the best gift you can give your child.

Age-Specific Tips for Managing Homesickness

Every child processes homesickness differently, and age plays a big role. Use these tailored strategies to meet your child where they are developmentally.

Young Children (Ages 3–6)

At this age, kids rely heavily on routines and concrete comforts.

• Bring a favorite stuffed animal or blanket.
  
• Stick to bedtime rituals (story, lullaby, nightlight).
  
• Use simple language to name feelings: “You’re missing home. That’s called homesick. It’s okay to feel that.”

Activity Time: Help your child draw a picture of “our home” and keep it in their travel bag.

School-Aged Children (Ages 7–11)

Kids in this range can begin to use logic and memory to manage emotions.

• Give them small responsibilities on the trip (choosing a snack, navigating with a map).
  
• Encourage journaling or writing postcards.
  
• Teach coping skills like box breathing or stretching.

Activity Time: Ask them to list “3 good things about today” each evening before bed.

Preteens and Teens (Ages 12+)

Older children may struggle more with peer separation than with physical home.

• Acknowledge the importance of their friendships. Schedule short check-ins with friends back home if possible.
  
• Give them independence (choosing activities, exploring safely).
  
• Talk openly about resilience and how travel challenges can prepare them for future independence.
  

Activity Time: Encourage them to create a short video diary reflecting on their day—both the highs and the lows.

Reframing Homesickness as Growth

Homesickness isn’t just a hurdle; it’s a life lesson in resilience, empathy, and emotional intelligence. When children learn they can miss home and still enjoy themselves, they build confidence in their ability to handle change.

Try talking about homesickness not as a failure but as a skill-building moment:
“Yes, you miss home. That means home is special. And you’re learning how to carry that love with you while you explore new things.”

Don’t stress out if your child misses home during your trip. You might miss home too!

What matters is that they know they’re not alone, and that you’re right there with them.

So, when your child is homesick, just love them. That will always be enough.

When to Seek Extra Support

Most homesickness fades after a few days, but if your child:

• Refuses to eat or sleep,
  
• Withdraws from all activities,
  
• Or shows signs of ongoing anxiety or depression

…it may be time to seek professional support. For short trips, this may mean adjusting your itinerary; for expat families, it may mean connecting with school counselors or online therapists.

Key Takeaways

• Homesickness is normal, not a sign of weakness.
  
• Preparation (routines, involvement, conversations) can prevent or lessen its impact.
  
• Validation and gentle redirection are more effective than dismissal.
  
• Different ages need different strategies—tailor your approach.
  
• Homesickness, handled well, becomes an opportunity for growth.
  

? Reflection Prompt: Think of one strategy from this article that fits your child’s stage right now. Write it down and commit to trying it on your next trip.

Ready to Travel Without the Stress?

If you’ve struggled with a homesick child before and now feel hesitant about travelling again, I see you. 

You’re not alone.

That’s why I created my 1:1 Coaching program. To support your travel with your kids to be more than just seeing the sights. Let’s make memories that count and thrive abroad and at home. Because you know what? The skills I teach will keep you and your kids on an even keep no matter where you are. 

Start today by downloading my FREE Expat Starter Kit.

It’s filled with practical tools and planning tips for your upcoming international relocation.

Further Reading & Resources

Here are some fantastic resources if you’d like to dive deeper into homesickness in kids.

• Fisher, S. (1989). Homesickness, Cognition and Health. Routledge.
  
• American Academy of Pediatrics – Helping Kids Cope With Homesickness
  
• KidsHealth – Dealing With Homesickness
  
• BetterHelp – Online Therapy for Expats and Families Abroad
  
• Headspace App – Guided meditations and resources for children and parents managing stress.

The post The Tips You Need To Support Homesick Kids While Travelling appeared first on Relocation and Travel Coaching.

I had no concept that there were different languages. 

Dressing up as an artist for the school dress-up day, I wore a beret and even had a little easel of cardboard to carry.   

Because the clothes were better than what I thought a writer would wear.

A writer is what I wanted to be. 

As far back as I can remember, I wanted to explore the world. 

To understand. 

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This is the point in my story where I should probably tell you that I still don’t understand everything. 

Sadly, I haven’t learnt every word in the world yet, either. But I have learnt German, so I’m closer to my goal. 

I’m not an artist. My clothes don’t even have that cool girl artsy aesthetic. 

And I haven’t yet explored the entire world. 

But here I am. 

Writing. 

Living abroad. 

Raising bilingual children. 

And having worked as a Social Worker, I can tell you that I’ve learnt plenty about people. 

How we connect.

Or don’t.

The way we try to find meaning in our lives.

How quickly hope can be lost. 

That through imperfection, we create the reality of our dreams.  

Why Blog?

As a Mum of two little people living abroad, I realised I had become invisible. 

To myself. 

Between adjusting to parenting, moving abroad, learning a new language and the madness of everyday life, I’d painted myself out of the picture. 

Completely.

My needs came last, if at all. 

Maybe you can relate to the fog of early parenting? Or the chaos of moving a family abroad? 

It was after our first visit back to Australia that I remembered. 

Writing.

I love books. Words. Exploring ideas. Hearing people’s stories. Learning from their experiences. 

I needed to write. 

Following our trip to Australia, we embarked on a five-week road trip through the Balkans. 

This was my space to begin thinking about what to write. 

A year on from those initial, tentative steps toward finding me again, and here we are. 

I am blogging to help you by providing a safe space.

A safe space for women parenting abroad. 

A dream space for families wanting to have adventures with their children. 

And an info hub for anyone who wants to visit Dresden, my current home.

But why Breathe in Between? 

It’s a combination of two phrases I use when under pressure.

“Breathe In”

The moment it takes to breathe in is all it takes. 

All it takes to diffuse a tense situation. To absorb challenging news. Or to find your calm during your toddler’s meltdown.

It’s a skill I’ve worked hard to master and still doesn’t always come easy.

I’m already trying to teach this priceless life skill of self-regulation to my kids (and sometimes it even works!). 

But like all families, we still have meltdowns, temper tantrums and daily complaints! 

“In Between”

These two words make difficult, challenging or near-impossible situations tolerable.

“This is not my life”, I’d tell myself when studying German left me so overwhelmed that I’d cry into my homework like the angsty teen I once was, “I’m just in between not knowing and knowing”. 

And I can say, in my life, I have been in between just about everything.

But it’s a phrase that gives me my power back. 

“I’m not a bad Mother. I’m in between knowing how to manage the old behaviour and learning how to manage this new behaviour.” 

Being in between helps me remain hopeful when everything feels hopeless.

“I’m not alone. I’m in between meeting new people and finding the right people.” 

But most of all, it reminds me to remain optimistic. 

Everything is always leading to another thing.

Life is never still. 

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Why are you in Germany?

Fair question. 

After almost four years here, I have the same three reasons I had in 2019 when we decided to pack up everything and move across the world with our baby daughter.

My kids should be able to speak both languages fluently. 

They’re citizens of Australia (my home) and Germany (my husband’s home). 

For both of us, the ability of our children to connect with and know both cultures was of utmost importance. 

My kids deserve to have a relationship with their German family. 

And I stand by this. My children now have a relationship with Oma that melts my heart (even if she does my head in). 

I know what you’re thinking. “But Tara! What about your family?!” 

And that’s the complicated thing about marrying someone from the other side of the world.

One of us is always a foreigner. 

One side of our family will always miss out. 

It’s not an easy decision. 

The conversation is always open.

Will we be here forever? When will we move back? How would we support the kids through that transition? Are we missing out on a better life there?

Questions we will always have, yet the answers continue to elude us.  

I’d always dreamed of living abroad and exploring Europe.

There’s an ego underlying every decision we make.

And there’s mine. 

I’d dreamt of exploring the whole world. I still do.

Eastern Europe is a region that has always fascinated me. 

As a student of politics and sociology, this region offers a breathtaking amount of culture, history and more than a little social upheaval. 

A paradise for understanding, in other words. 

To my social worker’s mind, this part of the world offered nothing other than the opportunity to learn. 

My favourite thing to do!

And wouldn’t you know it? My husband hails from Dresden, a city in Germany’s East. 

A city previously behind the Iron Curtain.

From here, I’ve uncovered things about myself and people that I didn’t expect.

What I stand for.

How I interact with the world and how I am, in turn, shaped by it. 

Where I fit in this crazy world of ours.

Who I am.

What’s next?

Connecting with my readers. 

I would love nothing more than to hear your experiences of living abroad. 

Of parenting away from home. Or of adventuring with your little people. 

Through my content, I hope to advise, support and empower you to reach for your dreams. 

No matter how wild they seem! I’m still trying to learn every word in the world, syllable by syllable. 

But most of all, I want you to find you.

Like I have. Again.

And remember –

Breathe in. You’re only in between here and there. 

Wherever there is for you. 

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