Updated by Tara on 09 February, 2026
My first month in Germany remains as vivid as ever in my mind.
Our excitement of arriving in our new city with my little daughter. Delicious smells of the bakeries everywhere. The newness of everything.
But that excitement didn’t last long. Within days of our arrival, my excitement turned into anxiety and stress.
I didn’t realise just how much I’d have to juggle and learn in my first weeks in Germany.
Looking back, I can see just how unprepared I was.
Not for the move itself, but for the weight of it.
I wish someone had warned me about the complexity and specificity of German bureaucracy, the silence of Sundays and the way motherhood abroad can quietly unravel your own sense of identity.
I didn’t know.
This post is for the version of me who didn’t know what she was walking into — and for you, if you’re about to begin (or are already deep in) your first month in Germany.
1. Bureaucracy won’t beat you, but it will try
Germany has a reputation and it isn’t for it’s flexible.
Of course, there’d be bureaucracy, I thought. I knew what visa I needed and how to apply. My husband had already arranged our Health Insurance. What else could there be?
I had no idea how many steps it really takes to settle into life here as a new arrival.
Registering my address? No clue.
Taxes and social contributions? Absolutely not.
Every step of these processes filled me with dread because I couldn’t speak German, I didn’t understand the system and I was constantly afraid of what would happen if I messed something up.
I still remember my first appointment at the Bürgerbüro, clutching a folder of documents, a bag of toys for my daughter, and my husband beside me. I understood nothing. Smiling, I signed where I was told, and walked out holding it together until I could breathe again.
What I wish I’d known:
This isn’t a personal failure. The system is complex, even for Germans.
👉 My tip: Prioritise bureaucracy early, ideally before you arrive.
- Book your address registration appointment as soon as possible.
- Arrange health insurance in advance.
- Bring original documents (and translations where you can) to every appointment.
Understanding how much hinges on timing and paperwork would have saved me days of stress and many “What have we done?” moments.
Read my top tips for conquering German bureaucracy.
2. Expect Emotions that don’t make sense
Some days I felt joyful and hopeful, excited to build a new life for my family. Other days, I cried in the shower so no one would hear me falling apart.
Not because something terrible had happened, but because I felt invisible. Incapable. Unanchored. Floating in the abyss of my new life.
I couldn’t manage the setup of our life independently. I didn’t know where I fit anymore. And worst of all was that the version of myself I recognised, capable, easy-going, confident, felt suddenly out of reach.
Wanting to hold it together for my kids, I fell apart inside and for a time, lost myself completely (but I rebuilt myself, better than ever!).
This emotional whiplash is far more common than most mothers realise. Relocation strips away familiarity, competence, and identity all at once, and does it while you’re still expected to function.
👉 My tip: Find one supportive connection as early as possible.
Read more about my personal journey as a Mother abroad.
3. Your Kids Might Adjust Faster Than You
My daughter started speaking German My daughter started speaking German before I did.
She absorbed the language effortlessly. She made friends without hesitation. Watching her was heartwarming and, if I’m honest, heartbreaking too.
For the first time, I felt like the outsider in my own family. Was I failing?
The pain of not understanding my child and the frustration of not quickly building friendships left me feeling lost. I no longer knew what my role as a Mother was.
I questioned myself constantly. Was I failing her? Wasn’t I supposed to be the one guiding her through this transition?
What I didn’t understand then was this: children adapt through immersion. Adults adapt through meaning. And those timelines don’t match.
👉 My tip:Let your kids be the leaders of your family sometimes. Their openness to new routines, the language, and friends just might be a source of inspiration and motivation for you. And if you start feeling left behind? Remind yourself who made those little people so darn brave!
If you’re struggling with the challenges of bi-lingual kids, here are my solutions.
4. Sundays Will Confuse You
UnIf you come from a place where shops are always open, Germany’s Sundays can feel confronting.
In Melbourne, something was always open.
In Germany? Almost nothing is.
Shops close. Noise stops. Rest is expected.
At first, it frustrated me. Now? I value it deeply.
👉 My tip: Plan ahead — and let Sundays be slower. It’s not worse. It’s different.
5. You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
This was my biggest lesson.
I believed I had to figure everything out myself. That needing help meant I wasn’t coping well enough.
Once I started talking to other women, I realised how universal this experience is and how much lighter it feels when shared.
👉 My tip: Support doesn’t replace your competence. It protects it.You deserve support.
Read more about the importance of building your expat support network.
Your First Month in Germany
That first month in Germany? It was rough. But I wouldn’t change it.
If you’re in it right now, exhausted, questioning yourself, wondering what you’ve done, know this: it does get easier.
You will find yourself again.
And most importantly, you don’t have to do it alone.
Get your FREE expat Starter Kit here, filled with tips to get you through your first month abroad without the stress I felt.
BONUS: Small things that surprised me in my first month in Germany
- Paper is still king (yes, even fax machines)
- Appointments take far longer than expected
- German directness isn’t rudeness
- Recycling rules are serious business
- Playgrounds rarely have toilets or water fountains
- Pfand will confuse you at least once
None of these derail you, but knowing them early helps.
