Finally! It’s holiday time. Flights are booked, bags packed, everyone’s toothbrushes are in the bags, activities and snacks for on-the-go are in the carry-on and you’ve even remembered the travel insurance. PHEW.
And while the family are buzzing with excitement, you’re already exhausted!
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone!
For many mothers, family vacations feel like anything but a restful time to relax.
No matter how beautiful the location may be, how heart-warming the laughter of your family – you’re still the one managing the family logistics, packing the daybags and remembering who needs a snack when to avoid the predictable afternoon meltdown.
But here’s the truth: you deserve a break, too.
Before you even leave home, pack one small bag just for you—your headphones, a book, and a treat you love. That’s your lifeline when things get overwhelming.
Travelling with your family doesn’t have to mean that you never get a rest. It’s not only possible to let go and unwind, it’s the whole point.
Why Family Vacations Aren’t Always Fun for Mums
We all know the feeling. That sigh of “what’s next” that escapes us once we’re in the car and actually on the way to our vacation. The feeling of nothing having changed except the scenery around us.
A family vacation can often feel more like a family relocation rather than relaxation.
You’ll probably be carrying everyone’s stuff, emotionally and literally (and likely not just your kids stuff!).
Even on “vacation,” you’re still the default parent.
You’re still stopping the sibling arguments, planning the day around naps and anticipating what everyone needs before they know they need it.
And it’s not your imagination—research shows that mothers take on around 71% of the household’s “mental load” (things like planning, organising, scheduling, and anticipating needs) compared to fathers.
This invisible labor doesn’t vanish on holiday. It comes with you (University of Bath & University of Melbourne, 2024). Another study linked this imbalance to higher stress, burnout, and even symptoms of depression in moms (Archives of Women’s Mental Health, 2024).
The result?
You come home needing a vacation from your vacation. Many of us feel guilty for not enjoying the time with our families more, being unable to relax or even feeling resentful for not having the opportunity to switch off for a few days.
You’re not alone.
We recently spent 5 weeks back in my home Australia and I spent at least the first week snarking and snapping at my husband because I was still holding the responsibilities of groceries, meal prep and scheduling the kids’ routines.
I felt grumpy, guilty and alone. It was awful.
But, as with everything in this life,my mindset needed an upgrade so that I could start enjoying making memories with my kids, not just organising them.
The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything
Travel does not have to be perfect.
There it is. Read it again if you need to and let it sink in.
Leave your perfectionism at home if you want to enjoy your time away with your kids.
Stop looking at those picture perfect travelling Instagram families. I cannot even imagine how much chaos they must be in just trying to hide the chaos they’re in!
Travelling with kids is different to travelling without them. It won’t be perfect. It won’t be chill (well, maybe sometimes). But it is worth it.
If you’re waiting for the stars to align (you know, a day with no tantrums and no delays when your children just eat the meal they’re given), then you’ll miss the beauty of your time together.
To enjoy this crazy beauty that is travelling with kids and actually be a Mom who smiles while travelling, not only because there’s a camera pointed towards you, start practicing these skills:
- Connection over control: Focus your energy on connecting with your kids, not controlling their every move.
- Flexibility over Flawless Plans: Just because the tour said it’s “perfect for kids” doesn’t mean it will be. Or maybe tomorrow will be better? Stay flexible. The perfect plan and schedule might seem admirable but only if your children can manage it.
- Moments of presence over perfect itineraries: Sometimes, a quiet afternoon together is what will allow you to rest, stay present and enjoy your kids company. Perfect itineraries that push your family too hard will only cause you, the family planner and logistics extraordinaire, more stress.
Also, resist the urge to “do it all.” Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
Ask for help.
Share the load.
Let your kids help pack their own bags, even if that means they bring too many three stuffed toys and not enough underwear.
Practical Tips for Stress-Free Travel for Moms
You don’t need to change everything about how you plan your holiday. You’re already doing great! But sometimes, a few small changes will make all the difference.
- Pack lighter (for you and your role): Bring the things that keep you grounded—a journal, essential oil, or a book just for fun. (I’m never without my earbuds!). Choosing whether to bring a pram or carrier can make packing (and moving around airports) much easier.
- Schedule rest into each day: Plan slow mornings, leave buffer time between activities, and make space for quiet breaks. The result? Fewer meltdowns and more energy for you. Win, win!
- Routines > Rigid Schedules: Stick to comforting rhythms like mealtimes and bedtime rituals. This creates safety without the pressure of a strict timetable.
- Prepare for transitions: Talk through plans with your kids before flights, long drives, or hotel changes. Big changes can feel overwhelming for little people who are used to a smaller world, so give them a roadmap to ease the stress.
What your child needs here depends a lot on their age—toddlers often need stories and play, school-age kids benefit from having clear expectations, and tweens may need more independence. I go into much more detail in my post on the Best Age to Travel with Kids.
- Create “Mom Moments”: Just 10–15 minutes a day to yourself helps you reset. Morning tea on the balcony, a quick swim, a walk alone, or even a few deep breaths behind a closed bathroom door—it all counts.
If you only remember 3 things, let them be:
Build in downtime.
Slow mornings and buffer time prevent as many meltdowns as possible.
Stick to rhythms, not plans.
Routines keep everyone grounded without the stress of a strict schedule.
Make time for YOU
Take breaks. Even just 10 minutes helps reset your energy and patience.
Kids’ Emotional Needs = Your Sanity
Here’s what you already know—but might need a reminder of:
Kids’ behaviour mirrors their emotions. And our emotions often mirror theirs.
Calm parents usually have calm kids. But when stress hits, it’s easy to get stuck in a cycle of dysregulation that’s hard to break.
And big emotions will happen on the road.
Travel disrupts routines, bombards everyone with new sights and sounds, and demands quick adjustment.
If that feels like a lot for us, imagine what it’s like for them.
Look out for:
Homesickness
Your child may be clingier than usual, avoid new activities, or keep asking, “When are we going home?”. Here’s what to do if your child feels homesick while travelling.
Meltdowns
Overstimulation is common. New food, new language, new sights—it all adds up. Kids usually hit their limit faster than at home.
Cultural discomfort
Questions like “Why don’t they speak English here?” or comments such as “I like it better at home” may signal they’re struggling. Curiosity is normal, but if these remarks keep coming, they may need extra support.
What helps:
Normalize their emotions
Even if you feel frustrated, remind them it’s normal to struggle with new experiences.
Try: “It makes sense that you miss home.”
Validate their feelings and help them calm down
Acknowledge their feelings and offer comfort or space. Let them choose: a cuddle, quiet time, or listening to familiar music.
Try: “I feel homesick too. Want to snuggle and listen to your favourite songs from home?”
Use stories, songs, or rituals from home to re-anchor them
Use age-appropriate rituals to reconnect—snacks, stories, or songs from home.
Try: Sharing a favourite treat or singing a familiar song together.
By prioritising your child’s wellbeing and making sure they feel safe, seen and supported through their challenges, you’re not just helping them. You’re also creating your own breathing room.
Thinking Bigger: What If You Took an Extended Family Adventure?
It might sound counterintuitive, but longer trips can actually be easier than short ones. With more time, there’s less pressure to cram everything in. You find your groove. Kids adapt. New routines form.
You create space for connection, curiosity, and calm.
On week one of our Southeast Asia trip, it was chaos. By week two, we had a rhythm—and by week three, the kids (and I!) were thriving. Here’s how we managed 7 weeks through Southeast Asia with kids.
Imagine slowing down enough to really be together, not just survive together. That’s not just a vacation. That’s a gift.
If you’re considering not just a holiday but a move abroad, here’s some tips on how to decide if it’s right for you.
You Deserve This, Too
Family travel doesn’t have to mean burning yourself out so everyone else can have fun. Yes, creating opportunities for everyone to make memories is an important role that you play.
But you’re not just the family planner. You’re a vital part of the family, too.
No one wants to look back at holiday photos and remember only that sinking feeling of dread or burden.
And your kids don’t want to find out that their Mom never actually enjoyed those trips that they remember so dearly.
Let’s rewrite the script.
Let’s make space for YOU so that you can rest, connect, and actually relax.
If you want support planning your next stress-free family trip—complete with emotional strategies for you and your children—I’d love to help.
Download my free guide or join my newsletter below.
Resources
Here are the studies and articles mentioned in this post, plus a few extras you might find helpful:
- University of Bath & University of Melbourne (2024). Mothers bear the brunt of the mental load, managing 71% of household tasks. Read summary
- Daminger, A. et al. (2024). Cognitive labor, mental health, and maternal wellbeing. Archives of Women’s Mental Health. Read study
- Her Index Survey (2025). Invisible labor of moms in the U.S. The Bump summary
- BMJ (2021). Unpaid care work: women’s invisible labor worldwide. Read article
