As a little girl, I wanted to learn every word in the world.
I had no concept that there were different languages.
Dressing up as an artist for the school dress-up day, I wore a beret and even had a little easel of cardboard to carry.
Because the clothes were better than what I thought a writer would wear.
A writer is what I wanted to be.
As far back as I can remember, I wanted to explore the world.
To understand.
This is the point in my story where I should probably tell you that I still don’t understand everything.
Sadly, I haven’t learnt every word in the world yet, either. But I have learnt German, so I’m closer to my goal.
I’m not an artist. My clothes don’t even have that cool girl artsy aesthetic.
And I haven’t yet explored the entire world.
But here I am.
Writing.
Living abroad.
Raising bilingual children.
And having worked as a Social Worker, I can tell you that I’ve learnt plenty about people.
How we connect.
Or don’t.
The way we try to find meaning in our lives.
How quickly hope can be lost.
That through imperfection, we create the reality of our dreams.
Why Blog?
As a Mum of two little people living abroad, I realised I had become invisible.
To myself.
Between adjusting to parenting, moving abroad, learning a new language and the madness of everyday life, I’d painted myself out of the picture.
Completely.
My needs came last, if at all.
Maybe you can relate to the fog of early parenting? Or the chaos of moving a family abroad?
It was after our first visit back to Australia that I remembered.
Writing.
I love books. Words. Exploring ideas. Hearing people’s stories. Learning from their experiences.
I needed to write.
Following our trip to Australia, we embarked on a five-week road trip through the Balkans.
This was my space to begin thinking about what to write.
A year on from those initial, tentative steps toward finding me again, and here we are.
I am blogging to help you by providing a safe space.
A safe space for women parenting abroad.
A dream space for families wanting to have adventures with their children.
And an info hub for anyone who wants to visit Dresden, my current home.
But why Breathe in Between?
It’s a combination of two phrases I use when under pressure.
“Breathe In”
The moment it takes to breathe in is all it takes.
All it takes to diffuse a tense situation. To absorb challenging news. Or to find your calm during your toddler’s meltdown.
It’s a skill I’ve worked hard to master and still doesn’t always come easy.
I’m already trying to teach this priceless life skill of self-regulation to my kids (and sometimes it even works!).
But like all families, we still have meltdowns, temper tantrums and daily complaints!
“In Between”
These two words make difficult, challenging or near-impossible situations tolerable.
“This is not my life”, I’d tell myself when studying German left me so overwhelmed that I’d cry into my homework like the angsty teen I once was, “I’m just in between not knowing and knowing”.
And I can say, in my life, I have been in between just about everything.
But it’s a phrase that gives me my power back.
“I’m not a bad Mother. I’m in between knowing how to manage the old behaviour and learning how to manage this new behaviour.”
Being in between helps me remain hopeful when everything feels hopeless.
“I’m not alone. I’m in between meeting new people and finding the right people.”
But most of all, it reminds me to remain optimistic.
Everything is always leading to another thing.
Life is never still.
Why are you in Germany?
Fair question.
After almost four years here, I have the same three reasons I had in 2019 when we decided to pack up everything and move across the world with our baby daughter.
My kids should be able to speak both languages fluently.
They’re citizens of Australia (my home) and Germany (my husband’s home).
For both of us, the ability of our children to connect with and know both cultures was of utmost importance.
My kids deserve to have a relationship with their German family.
And I stand by this. My children now have a relationship with Oma that melts my heart (even if she does my head in).
I know what you’re thinking. “But Tara! What about your family?!”
And that’s the complicated thing about marrying someone from the other side of the world.
One of us is always a foreigner.
One side of our family will always miss out.
It’s not an easy decision.
The conversation is always open.
Will we be here forever? When will we move back? How would we support the kids through that transition? Are we missing out on a better life there?
Questions we will always have, yet the answers continue to elude us.
I’d always dreamed of living abroad and exploring Europe.
There’s an ego underlying every decision we make.
And there’s mine.
I’d dreamt of exploring the whole world. I still do.
Eastern Europe is a region that has always fascinated me.
As a student of politics and sociology, this region offers a breathtaking amount of culture, history and more than a little social upheaval.
A paradise for understanding, in other words.
To my social worker’s mind, this part of the world offered nothing other than the opportunity to learn.
My favourite thing to do!
And wouldn’t you know it? My husband hails from Dresden, a city in Germany’s East.
A city previously behind the Iron Curtain.
From here, I’ve uncovered things about myself and people that I didn’t expect.
What I stand for.
How I interact with the world and how I am, in turn, shaped by it.
Where I fit in this crazy world of ours.
Who I am.
What’s next?
Connecting with my readers.
I would love nothing more than to hear your experiences of living abroad.
Of parenting away from home. Or of adventuring with your little people.
Through my content, I hope to advise, support and empower you to reach for your dreams.
No matter how wild they seem! I’m still trying to learn every word in the world, syllable by syllable.
But most of all, I want you to find you.
Like I have. Again.
And remember –
Breathe in. You’re only in between here and there.
Wherever there is for you.
